I suspect that the c-word is irredeemably toxic to many in the U.S. for the foreseeable future. Maybe someday its usage here might drift to something more like how it’s used in the U.K. (where, as I understand it, it’s more of a naughty insult, and not necessarily specifically applied to women), but it’s hard for me to see that happening here any time soon.
When I was in high school. my friends and I cursed like sailors. Then I want to a church-related college and got out of the habit, and did not like hearing curse words at all. In the last few years, however, I have returned to using profanity quite a bit. So I have made a full reversal to my irreverent high school self.
But the reason these words evoke intense feeling is because they violate social norms. I’m not talking about swearing to offend, but rather how what we do in the privacy of our own homes or in our social circle reflects a shared violation of social norms, which foments intimacy.
To stretch this a bit, my closest circle of friends is my writers group, and no matter what we discuss during critique time, we inevitably end up at dick jokes. Usually elaborate ones. We don’t do it to offend, in fact we often are alone among ourselves when this happens, but there’s some kind of illicit thrill in knowing you have this special bond that transcends social norms. I think there’s even a kind of pride in knowing that not everybody would be comfortable with that level of bawdiness.
Yeah, see, I think that’s not how swearing usually works in practice.
When I yell “Goddamn fucking fish weasels on a fucking jelly donut!!” after bashing my pinky toe against the leg of my coffee table, I’m not gaining an illicit thrill from the subversiveness of my weasels and donuts.
But what I’m arguing is that those words wouldn’t have the same visceral effect if they weren’t taboo words. If teachers taught preschoolers the word “shit” along with the meanings of all other words, and the word “shit” was acceptable for children and adults, in all polite company, including the Queen of England, the exclamation “Shit!” would not activate the part of the brain that it does now.
We’re both saying things that are true and which do not conflict, except to the degree that we think the other is wrong.
Yes, these words were all taboo. (Except the ones that weren’t, dangit! Blast, what the heck would happen if people cursed using faux-swears? That would blow the crap out of your - wait, is crap still a taboo word? I think it used to be one…regardless.) My point is that while I suppose some people could get the giggles over the whole taboo-ness of it all, that strikes me as a really odd way to employ the words nowadays. Like, “He said dick! He he he, titter titter titter - wait, I said titter! Hurhurhur…” Sorry, I guess I don’t really see the humor.
My thinking is that in many contexts (specifically, when you’re not playing the ‘inherently funny words’ game), the origin of the words matters as little as their literal meanings. Like, most times when people say “fuck!” they don’t mean “sex”. What the word literally means doesn’t matter - and often, the fact that granny will be scandalized if she hears you doesn’t matter either. What matters is you just broke your toe, goddamn fucknitz swizzle sticks on a bacon doily!
I cuss quite a bit, drop F-bombs with abandon but for the most part avoid taking the Lord’s name in vain (and I’m not a religious person) and don’t use the MF word.
That said, If I hit my thumb with a hammer, I may be all “God damn, mother fucker…, Jesus Christ that hurt!” But I have had enough Christianity infused into me at an early age that I usually follow that with a mental “Sorry God.”
This. On the rare occasions I swear, it’s at myself for doing something so &*!^+ing stupid…
Don’t curse but don’t mind it in TV or movie unless there is too much of it.
Really? In all instances, or only the times you hear someone dropping the “F” bomb incessantly? While I don’t care for incessant swearing because it gets tedious to hear it, I certainly don’t lower my opinion of those who swear, even those who swear a lot. How do you keep from having a lowered opinion of most of humanity?
I had kids at home and students all day at work, so for years I almost never swore. I took my minced oath inspiration from Yosemite Sam. There was a lot of “frackin’, smackin’” and “goldurned” going on… I also favored cripes, crud, and the occasional frick. (My daughter, a Scrubs fan, would quote JD when she saw me getting upset: “Aaaand here come the fricks!”)
And I sometimes swore under my breath in Italian, but only at home. I had a friend who’d mutter “pechatnaya mashinka” because it satisfied her need to curse and sounded (to her, anyway) like she was swearing in Russian. It means “typewriter.” 
I lived in the UK (Midlands and western Scotland) for a spell, and every instance of that term I can think of it was in reference to a male, I think. I heard it enough that it lost the baggage that it has for me as an American speaker, though I still would not dare use it in reference to a woman on either continent.
For the UKers here, is it just as casual a usage when “cunt” is used in reference to a woman?
Using terms for females and female anatomy as insults is kind of denigrating to females in general.
Now I’m teaching in a bilingual kindergarten so there is absolutely no way to use these words at work.
Back when I was a Mormon and on my mission, it was common for everyone to use the alternatives such as flip.
I’d be curious how many women in the UK are cool with men using “cunt” to insult each other. The guys seem to think it’s no big deal, but I’ve had several women in the UK tell me they found it very offensive. Maybe a case of, “It’s not offensive because I’m not the targeted group”?
Not just ‘kind of’.
And denigrating and devaluing one gender is diminishing all genders.
I hedge by nature.
That’s nice-sounding, but I’m pretty sure that when one gender is being denigrated that that gender is being denigrated more than the gender that’s not being denigrated.
I was watching the movie “Casino” on TV yesterday (the 1995 mobster movie with Robert
DeNiro and Joe Pesci). Every curse word was overdubbed with a polite version: “Freak” instead of “F***”, “Stuff” instead of “S***”. This movie has scenes with people stealing, committing adultery, shooting each other, beating each other bloody, and BURYING PEOPLE ALIVE, and they’re worried someone might be offended by the curse words???
This reminds me of a Q&A on Goodreads I found for Alan Moore’s masterpiece From Hell. The very graphic novel is a take on Jack the Ripper, the horrors of poverty in London during the Victorian Era, the hellish lives of prostitutes, etc.
Question: Is there anything in this book that’s not suitable for young people?
I replied, “Yes. In one scene, when the Ripper is surgically removing his victim’s entrails, a nipple is clearly visible.”
When our grandkids were little, we were both fans of “Fudge those monkey pants!”.
When it comes to cursing, know your audience. At home, f-bombs will fly through the air with no ill intent towards whoever might be in the house. But I’m not going to go to my husband’s church on Christmas Eve and yell “Happy fucking birthday, Jesus!”. Seems less than polite.
In North America it’s just another way to say “beloved Aunt”. 