# Do you curse at inanimate objects? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849 "2003-09-25T21:58:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/21 "2003-09-26T04:50:58Z")
Of ^%\*#$@& course! How the %@#& else do you move a @%^&\*#$ mattress or refrigerator?!? ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/22 "2003-09-26T04:59:25Z")
I do so much more rarely than I used to. These days, I favor a chilly glare and deathly calm veiled threats. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/23 "2003-09-26T05:11:39Z")
I came to realize, a few years ago, that when I called some bit of machinery a “worthless piece o’ shit,” I was talking to myself. Since that moment, I have been much less generous with rat’s parts. It doesn’t matter how many rat’s parts I may have, I’m unlikely to give one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ravesaint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ravesaint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ravesaint)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/24 "2003-09-26T05:16:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shy guy \* > **Pft, I don’t think there’s anyone who’s ever played a videogame that hasn’t sworn at an inanimate object.** So much of my allowance growing up went towards new controllers, it’s not even funny. Why I would play a game, for hour after hour, when all it did was infuriate me beyond my ability to control myself is beyond me. Of course, it _did_ feel pretty good once I finally beat that stupid sorry bastard son of a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/25 "2003-09-26T06:21:31Z")
Yeah, chalk up one more “fucking pain in the ass computer” user here. And much like **erictelevision** , I expect the thing (or the program in question) to do what it’s supposed to do. I’m not asking for a lot, here. Due to the _eccentricity_ of the 32-bit Windows operating system (pick one) I also often curse the thing out when it cannot give me the same results, from the same set of actions “two fucking times in a row!” Open the browser. Go to such and such web page. Click such and such link. It opens, I get to read the content, yay rah. Cut to four hours later: Open browser, go to same web page, click same link, and the _fucking browser locks up_ forcing me to start again, reboot, or give up and try to remember what the frigging page said, and relate that to whomever it is I’m trying to find the information for. Razzin’ frazzin’ hot-wired pile of monkey nuts… ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/26 "2003-09-26T06:48:00Z")
I’m a tall person. On the occassion of accidentally challenging immovable, inanimate objects with the the soft, fleshy, top part of my cranium I will more times than not vociferously curse said objects in a blind rage, yea verily lay my hands upon it, and attempt to rend it asunder with tremendous emotional vigor. I have many bumpy spots on the soft, fleshy, top part of my head. I’m also prejudiced against short persons. ---
**Author:** ![Frankenbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@Frankenbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankenbear)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/27 "2003-09-26T06:55:20Z")
I can honestly say I do. However, my instances of anger towards an inanimate object hasn’t been as creative as some of the other posters. I used to swear at my computer when it wouldn’t work as well as I thought it should but one day I decided to try a different tactic and started sweet-talking it. Seems to work better for me. BUT I swear at a wall (which I usually hit with my shoulder or sometimes entire side) on a nearly daily basis that has been in the exact same place for twenty-one years, usually when I’m half asleep and my eyes aren’t quite open yet. I blame it for my clumsiness. “Damn wall! Watch where you’re going!” :wally ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/28 "2003-09-26T07:30:27Z")
I do, indeed, swear at them. Sometimes I threaten them. I believe my best performance was a five minute Christopher Walken style monologue (complete with voice and vocal mannerisms) involving my knowlege of where the server room was, how long the door would keep me out, what I had in my backpack, and what, in exquisite detail, I was going to do with it when I got there if I was not allowed to log in so I could get some work done. I don’t know if it impressed the systems much, but since then I have had absolutely no problems with any of the people who sit near me. Pretty impressive considering I had a bottle of water, a multitool, three pairs of socks, seven paperbacks and a small kit containing condoms and safety razors. I guess creativity does count. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/29 "2003-09-26T12:55:45Z")
I have been known to throw inanimate objects across the room, to Teach Them a Lesson. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/30 "2003-09-26T14:48:26Z")
I always swear at inanimate objects, I don’t think there is such a thing as an inanimate object - they’re all consious and aware that they are pissing you off. My car has a dent above the wheel, why? cuz I kicked it when it wouldn’t let me open the bonnet (hood) one day, and when I saw that I’d dented it I yelled “and I hope that \*ucking hurt, you sodding \*astard!” I have a handbag, when I sit it down somewhere (on a chair, on the floor, on a table) it always, but always, falls over. it doesn’t have a zip or anything, so when it falls over everything spills out. I swear the \*ucking thing does it deliberately, I’ve watched it sit there, then as soon as I blink, it falls over! sonovabi… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/31 "2003-09-26T14:52:41Z")
"Any inanimate object that refuses to cooperate with me immediately becomes a ‘piece of shit’. " I find myself calling things “You fucking whore” a lot. Geez…that’s pretty bad. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/32 "2003-09-26T14:54:37Z")
Inanimate objects are just… like… stupid. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/33 "2003-09-26T15:16:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by im2evil4u \* > \*\*I do the exact opposite. When I stub my toe on the table or bang my head on the freezer door, I apologize to the object. I honestly don’t even realize that I’m doing it, it takes someone in the same room to point out the fact that I just apologized to the coffe table. > > For example, a few days ago I was placing my laundry into the washing machine and as I was closing the lid it slipped out of my hand and slammed shut. I blurted out “Oh gosh, I’m sorry!” \*\* 😃 That’s pretty funny. I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to change your username, though. I just curse because of the event (stubbing my toe), I don’t curse at inanimate objects. It seems a little silly to me. Objects are not intentionally trying to piss me off\*. [sub]\*Computers are _not_ inanimate objects. They _do_ actively try to piss me off and, what’s more, they take great delight in it. The bastards.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/34 "2003-09-26T15:23:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by im2evil4u \* > \*\*I do the exact opposite. When I stub my toe on the table or bang my head on the freezer door, I apologize to the object. I honestly don’t even realize that I’m doing it, it takes someone in the same room to point out the fact that I just apologized to the coffe table. > > For example, a few days ago I was placing my laundry into the washing machine and as I was closing the lid it slipped out of my hand and slammed shut. I blurted out “Oh gosh, I’m sorry!” \*\* 😃 That’s pretty funny. I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to change your username, though. I just curse because of the event (stubbing my toe), I don’t curse at inanimate objects. It seems a little silly to me. Objects are not intentionally trying to piss me off\*. [sub]\*Computers are _not_ inanimate objects. They _do_ actively try to piss me off and, what’s more, they take great delight in it. The bastards.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/35 "2003-09-26T15:59:32Z")
I just go straight after Reailty itself. “Stupid laws of physics!” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/36 "2003-09-26T16:32:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Standup Karmic \* > \*\*I’m quite patient with human beings. I’m completely impatient with inanimate objects. \*\* You must be my behavioral doppelganger. When i first saw this thread title, i thought that it must have been started just for me. My computer gets sworn at more than any other single object in my house, and if i didn’t need it so badly it would have been defenestrated long ago. As it is, i have managed to restrict myself to infliciting some non-lethal injuries on the cunt of a machine. It has a large crack in the front of the tower, and the floppy disc drive has been pushed an inch or so back into the console, all courtesy of my boot. There are also a bunch of small indentations in the plastic casing of the monitor, where i have stabbed it repeatedly with a large pair of scissors. And i had to replace the original keyboard a while ago because i beat the shit out of it. There are times when i get frustrated by inanimate objects and there is nothing i would like more than to hear the sound of breaking glass. I have to take great steps to stop myself, take a few deep breaths, and NOT start throwing crockery and glassware around the kitchen. I did break a small bowl the other night after i stubbed my toe in the kitchen and threw a spoon into the sink in my pain and frustration. I’m nothing like this with people, the only exception being on the rare occasions when i throw a fit with another person present. The worst thing you can do in this situation is tell me to calm down. Yes, i am well aware that swearing at my computer and beating the shit out of it is unlikely to lead to better performance, but the last thing i need right now is your sanctimonious ass pointing that fact out to me. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/37 "2003-09-26T18:40:07Z")
[nitpick] Um, **mhendo** , are you threatening to remove Windows from your computer or what??? [/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/38 "2003-09-26T19:16:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I have been known to throw inanimate objects across the room, to Teach Them a Lesson. \*\* Me, too! 😃 […wiping tear…] ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/39 "2003-09-26T23:58:08Z")
I do, especially my computer. But I am rarely in a rage when I do it. And I never ever throw things. ---
**Author:** ![im2evil4u](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@im2evil4u](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/im2evil4u)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849/40 "2003-09-27T04:16:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by heresiarch \* > \*\*😃 That’s pretty funny. I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to change your username, though. \*\* I must also mention that after I apologize said object, I stab it repeatedly, pull its “guts” out, eat them for dinner and then proceed to set the remains on fire. The Maytag man just can’t figure it out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-curse-at-inanimate-objects/203849.md?page=3)