# Do you do this? Re: Cleaning when inviting guests **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249 "2010-04-07T05:10:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/41 "2010-04-07T16:22:32Z")
It’s different because it was post-clarification. Upon reading the first two responses, it occurred to me people thought I was asking if you tidy up for guests. I’m asking about the \*way \*you tidy up for guests. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/42 "2010-04-07T16:30:03Z")
I answered “No” because I do a full out cleaning, no matter who is coming over. I do as much as I have time to do, given the amount of notice. My reasoning is 1. I was raised that having a clean house for visitors is a sign of respect and as such 2. Having someone over gives me great motivation to clean things that I wouldn’t normally have the motivation to clean. It really works well for me in the sense that I have a really hard time getting motivated to clean normally so this extra bump is definitely a good thing. I get similar motivation when I go out of town because I like coming home to a clean house (although this has lessened due to having a roommate). My SO hates that I clean when people come over. He especially doesn’t understand it with his mother. His point of view is, “It’s just my mom.” He clearly wasn’t raised to clean when visitors are coming over. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/43 "2010-04-07T16:42:43Z")
For my mother, it’s clean top to bottom, none of that, “My place is clean and neat, but just out of order enough to give the lived-in look” business. I do the full treatment for a soiree as well. A friend or two for drinks and dinner gets the clean but fake messy thing. I was just wondering if what I do is unusual. I suppose I could ask one of my friends, but if you’re doing what I do, you an never admit you clean. You’d be all, “Dude, I didn’t touch a thing. Yes, my floors are clean, but didn’t you notice that magazine sloppily splayed across the coffee table, and the one sweater on my sofa?” even though I put the other four away to look neat. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/44 "2010-04-07T17:32:07Z")
I’ve been thinking about this question (I answered “No”) and while I couldn’t wrap my head around it at first, I think it’s because my house, even when as clean as can be, still always looks “lived in” because it’s kind of grungy to begin with. The “public areas” of the house get vacuumed and dusted once a week, and the bathroom cleaned. If I have an overnight guest, the guestroom is freshened up but otherwise I keep the guestroom closed up. But the kitchen only ever looks so good because it needed to be renovated 10 years ago. The carpeting is spotty and worn because it’s old and I don’t care about it (and I have a dog). The couch is second-hand and looks it. There’s a humongous dog bed in the living room - which does get hidden away if I need space. There’s a few video game boxes on top the TV cabinet, because that’s where they go. Otherwise, everything is hidden behind a door. Dog toys get put in their box when there’s guests, mainly because they are a walking hazard. I’ll always dump my ash trays, clear off the dining room table, and make sure the kitchen counter is clear. My house pretty much looks like this 80% of the time. But I don’t make an effort to make my house lived-in. That’s it’s default state. It looks lived-in when it’s “spotless” just because I’m a bad decorator and/or don’t have nice furniture. I think you _are_ weird, **MOL** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/45 "2010-04-07T18:02:08Z")
> [@heraldgwena](#): > > \ He especially doesn’t understand it with his mother. His point of view is, “It’s just my mom.” He clearly wasn’t raised to clean when visitors are coming over. Or he’s not a girl-person, who gets judged on their cooking and cleaning (still!). I made cookies for my husband to take to a potluck dinner at work, and the second batch came out half burnt. He didn’t care; his response was, “I don’t care about these people enough to not serve them burnt cookies,” but _I_ cared! You can’t serve people burnt cookies! They’ll think I can’t bake properly! ETA: I should say, the arrangement with my husband and I is that he works and I look after the house, including the cooking and baking; he doesn’t just expect me to bake cookies for his work all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/46 "2010-04-07T18:11:51Z")
With the exception of the three potential houseguests who have their own keys, I always try to make the guest room look immaculate. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/47 "2010-04-07T18:27:29Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Or he’s not a girl-person, who gets judged on their cooking and cleaning (still!). This is likely true. He is one of three boys, and his mom was a bit frazzled to be teaching manners. You should have SEEN his table manners when we met. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/48 "2010-04-07T18:30:20Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > But I don’t make an effort to make my house lived-in. That’s it’s default state. That’s my defaultish. It’s lived-in messy. When I have company, I do lived-in neat. > [@](#): > > I think you _are_ weird, **MOL** 🙂 I thought so too, but some people here know exactly what I’m talking about! So if I am weird, which is likely, I’m at least not quite Doper weird yet. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/49 "2010-04-07T18:43:59Z")
If its his family, it’s gonna look spotless. Which doesn’t really make sense, because she’s an average housekeeper. We both are pretty clean, but he is bothered by my cleaning _for_ guests - the reasoning being “we should always have our place this clean, just for us!” But if its a few friends, I’m gonna vacuum the downstairs/entryway and wipe the black TV stand (the thing collects dust like nothing else) and wipe the sink/counter and mirror in the bathroom. I’ll quickly tidy the bedroom (straighten up the already made bed, be sure the dressers aren’t cluttered). I wouldn’t touch the bedroom ordinarily, except our only bathroom is _in_ the bedroom. We also have this small “cubby” built into the brick wall that holds a box of tissues, keys, medication, our lactose pills, eye drops (for and without contacts) my pepper spray, etc. That gets tidied up and the medication hidden for anyone coming over. I can get the whole thing done in 10 minutes, but if I’m moving at an ordinary pace or talking to the SO, 12-15. > [@DMark](#): > > BTW, when I first met him, I found out he ironed his jeans, t-shirts and underwear! I have since convinced him that folding them neatly after removing them from the dryer is ample…but I still catch him eyeballing the ironing board every once in awhile. This is hilarious. My mom claims to have dated a guy exactly as meticulous as your SO, and it freaked her out. It freaked her out because _she_ scrubbed her toilet, changed her sheets, and vacuumed _twice_ a week, and he was cleaner than her :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/50 "2010-04-08T02:14:24Z")
Re: Family For a spouse’s family, I’d imagine I’d do top to bottom clean, but my old man never had any family, so I go on how I’ve been with everyone else’s family. In college, my roommate’s mom came to visit, and we spent a whole week pretending like we weren’t lazy slobs for her stay. When I lived with my ex boyfriend, we’d do a condo makeover if we knew his mom was coming. For his brother, we wouldn’t make a change at all. I’m the same way with my family; it depends on the family member. For my siblings, they’re lucky if I even open the door for them, rather than yelling “Come in!” from my couch. For my mother, I get the place in Martha Stewart cleanliness and organization. What amuses me about that is my mother, I’m sure, recognizes that it’s total bullshit if my place is immaculately clean. I lived with that woman for 18 years, and if 18 years of nagging me about cleaning my room taught her anything, it’s that I’m not perfectly tidy. She appreciates the gesture of my fashioning my place to look nothing like how I actually keep it, which is why I do it. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/51 "2010-04-08T02:17:18Z")
Re: Family For a spouse’s family, I’d imagine I’d do top to bottom clean, but my old man never had any family, so I go on how I’ve been with everyone else’s family. In college, my roommate’s mom came to visit, and we spent a whole week pretending like we weren’t lazy slobs for her stay. When I lived with my ex boyfriend, we’d do a condo makeover if we knew his mom was coming. For his brother, we wouldn’t make a change at all. I’m the same way with my family; it depends on the family member. For my siblings, they’re lucky if I even open the door for them, rather than yelling “Come in!” from my couch. For my mother, I get the place in Martha Stewart cleanliness and organization. What amuses me about that is my mother, I’m sure, recognizes that it’s total bullshit if my place is immaculately clean. I lived with that woman for 18 years, and if 18 years of nagging me about cleaning my room taught her anything, it’s that I’m not perfectly tidy. She appreciates the gesture of my fashioning my place to look nothing like how I actually keep it, which is why I do it. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/52 "2010-04-08T03:11:49Z")
I’ll admit I’m nuts about cleaning and organizing so our house is generally clean. If I know someone is coming over I’ll use the dust-mop on the hard floors and vacuum the living room and hall-way. I do a quick cleaning of the kitchen - dishes and counter tops. I round up any stray socks and shoes from the living areas and makes sure the hall bathroom is decent. If I have no advanced warning I’ll just check the bathroom toilet/sink and make sure no undergarments are visible in the laundry baskets. ---
**Author:** ![LegendHasit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/legendhasit/32/8246_2.png) [@LegendHasit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegendHasit)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/53 "2010-04-08T03:19:57Z")
I like inviting people over \*because \*it’s great incentive to clean the house. Otherwise it’s overrun by rabid dustbunnies! LH ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/54 "2010-04-08T03:26:25Z")
I voted yes, but it’s because it’s too much work to do a full cleanup. Chances are I’d need a month or two to get the place to what I consider spotless. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/55 "2010-04-08T03:39:30Z")
I will never forget the Christmas get-together at my boss’ efficiency apartment years ago. My two co-workers and I were ushered in to a living space of such utter squalor as to make the mind reel. Her foldout bed was open and draped with a grubby sheet, and she pulled a grubby comforter off the floor to cover that up, inviting us to have a seat… ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/56 "2010-04-08T14:59:13Z")
Depends on the guest. When my landlady comes by I like to make it spotless here because I want her to see I’m taking good care of her house. If it’s one of my close friends I will go as far as putting away laundry and toys but I can’t be bothered with more. If it’s family I haven’t seen in a while I’ll clean but not anywhere near as well as if the landlady comes by. I guess her opinion on my cleaning means more to me! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/57 "2010-04-08T15:09:21Z")
After my mother died and the family moved to Atlanta, we used to have a maid/cleaning woman come twice a week. It always irritated my five year-old self that my father would have us clean up for the maid. Wasn’t that what we were paying her for? Fast-forward 30 years. My wife and I have a baby, she mentions that the newborn is taking all her time and can’t keep the house up to her standards (and it’s like living in a museum, people). So I splurge for a cleaning woman to come in on occasion to help. Result: My wife decided that we had to clean the house for the cleaning woman. :sigh: ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249/58 "2010-04-08T16:18:10Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > It always irritated my five year-old self that my father would have us clean up for the maid. Wasn’t that what we were paying her for? > > Fast-forward 30 years. My wife and I have a baby, she mentions that the newborn is taking all her time and can’t keep the house up to her standards (and it’s like living in a museum, people). So I splurge for a cleaning woman to come in on occasion to help. > > Result: My wife decided that we had to clean the house for the cleaning woman. My mom used to do this, too. I never quite understood it when I was a kid, but now I think it was more about de-cluttering and getting the big easy stuff, so that the cleaning lady could concentrate on the little detailed cleaning that she didn’t have time to do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-do-this-re-cleaning-when-inviting-guests/535249.md?page=2)