# Do you eat to help cope with emotional issues? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271 "2010-03-12T17:52:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/41 "2010-03-13T01:55:06Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > So does lemonade. Has lemonade ever put you in a good mood? Yes indeed! Come home from work, feeling miserable and stressed, sometimes I’ve still got one arm in my coat, and the other arm is already in the refrigerator pulling out that lovely cool can of Minute Maid light lemonade. There’s a reason that I keep ten 12-packs of the stuff in my kitchen at all times, and it’s not just because I’m thirsty. Minute Maid participates in the Coke Rewards program, and I’m already on my second free movie ticket. I recently calculated that you have to drink 582 cans of lemonade to get a free movie ticket. Since the stuff is owned by Coke, maybe they are secretly spiking it with cocaine. Or maybe it just puts me in a good mood. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/42 "2010-03-13T01:57:35Z")
> [@Glory](#): > > This is more close to what I used to do. I’d travel long distances for work, work long hour days and think stuff like “Wow, I had a tough day, I deserve X”. I’d be alone in a hotel, with a comfy expense account and order a huge dinner, wine and dessert. If the place I was training had donuts, well, I should have a donut! If I stopped to expense a Starbucks coffee, I got a big one with whip and a BIG danish, because I should have it! > > I could rationalize almost anything as being deserving of a special treat. I really try not to do it anymore, or save it for truly special situations like my birthday or Christmas dinner. Was this _only_ with food, or would you reward yourself with other things you enjoy, too? ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/43 "2010-03-13T02:12:56Z")
Almost 100% with food. The very occasional massage as a treat for a long training trip (but I’m cheap, so that didn’t happen very often). The very occasional glass of wine, but I’m not much of a drinker. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/44 "2010-03-13T02:13:50Z")
I like cooking when I’m stressed, but not necessarily eating. It’s the act of cooking per se that comforts me rather than the end result. A glass of wine and a cig are much more comforting to me than a cookie would be. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/45 "2010-03-13T02:29:21Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > I think that some people misunderstand “emotional” eating. For me, it’s a mindless comfort to satiate a niggling feeling of emptiness. It’s not wailing while stuffing my face with food. I didn’t realize that I ate “emotionally” because that’s what I thought it was supposed to be. And if I’m very sad about something, I don’t eat. Then, one day I realized that when I’m stressed or bored, my response is to start eating. I don’t even really like the food, the “comfort” isn’t in the taste or flavor or texture or memory - it’s in the physical act of eating. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/46 "2010-03-13T02:44:32Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > But how does that help you cope with your feelings? For me and a friend of mine, we describe it much the same way. Food is the only things that’s _ours_. My friend moved because it was closer to her husband’s job, got her schooling set up the way she did because it suited others, her daughter is clingy and needy and she’s married to a man who’s very forceful and picky about how he likes things. But food is _her’s_. If she wants a big mac with no onions and extra pickles and cheese and 12 burger patties, she can get that the way she wants it. So whenever she starts feeling stressed and powerless, she grabs for food. It’s the only thing she controls. Really, what we should be doing is practicing assertiveness and learning how to say ‘no’. For me, I’m getting better and eating my emotions less and less all the time, but for her it’s a much tougher road to hoe. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/47 "2010-03-13T02:48:21Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > I marked sometimes. > > For me, it’s not about eating when I’m not hungry, or eating the whole pie/ham/carton of ice cream. > > But it absolutely affects my choices of what to eat. > > Day is fine? Eat a salad. Or one of those microwavable meals with 300 calories or less. > > Day is minorly crappy–eat the Chicken Ceaser salad–only don’t eat the lettuce, just the dressing and the chicken and the cheese. Or get a cookie after I eat my meal at Panera’s --and the meal is more likely to include the mac & cheese or half a sandwhich which is dripping with melted cheese and maybe bacon. I marked sometimes too. You know how people have been talking about “will power” a lot in the Hey Fatties pit thread? My will to pick good things over bad bottoms out when I’m really stressed - if I have a lot to think hard about, I’m less likely to weigh the pros and cons of buying cupcakes because it hardly seems to matter when compared to something that’s a much bigger deal. Being stressed doesn’t exactly encourage me to eat sweets, since I crave them all the time anyway. It just doesn’t _dis_courage me to. ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/48 "2010-03-13T02:59:12Z")
I eat when I am hungry. When dealing with emotional issues, I drink (a lot) and I smoke (a lot). I might not eat at all. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/49 "2010-03-13T03:00:11Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > made sense to me, but strikes me as a bit different from using food as a coping mechanism for depression. I don’t use food as a coping mechanism for depression. And if that’s what you think emotional eating is, no wonder it doesn’t make sense to you. But if you picture my mood as being somewhere on a scale from 1 to 10, eating --especially cheesey, starchy, fatty foods–can bump me up a point or two. Sometimes just temporarily, but sometimes it’s enough to move me from “I just want to go home and curl up with a good book” to “you know, knitting with friends is fun” (of course, the laughter and interaction with the friends helps too.) Or at work, it can be the difference from counting the agonizing minutes until I clock out (and dwelling on what a worthless person I must be that this sucky job is the best I can get) , to just counting the minutes till time to go home. (Although, yes, again, breaking the routine, getting off the floor, and maybe interacting with folk in the break room may help as well). ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/50 "2010-03-13T03:01:59Z")
When I’m stressed, I lose my appetite. When I’m disappointed or sad or inexplicably blue, I eat fairly normallly. But if I’m bored with my life and feel like I have nothing to look forward to, I may indulge a little. Like I mentioned earlier, sushi perks me right up. This is not emotional eating as it’s normally considered, though. I voted sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/51 "2010-03-13T03:33:48Z")
Good grief, you’d think people had never heard of a displacement activity. That’s what emotional eating (drinking/gambling/shopping/exercise/cooking/bubble bathing) is, a displacement activity. Something you do as a distraction to avoid dealing with whatever is bothering you. It doesn’t fix the problem, obviously, but it keeps you from dwelling on the situation until the problem resolves itself or your other coping mechanisms kick in. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/52 "2010-03-13T03:57:51Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Good grief, you’d think people had never heard of a displacement activity. > > That’s what emotional eating (drinking/gambling/shopping/exercise/cooking/bubble bathing) is, a displacement activity. Something you do as a distraction to avoid dealing with whatever is bothering you. It doesn’t fix the problem, obviously, but it keeps you from dwelling on the situation until the problem resolves itself or your other coping mechanisms kick in. Exactly! ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/53 "2010-03-13T04:10:11Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > No. Food doesn’t have an emotional connection for me. And when I am depressed or angry I lose my appetite (although I never fast because it makes me seriously ill - I just feel grossed out at the thought of eating, but force myself to eat anyway). This is exactly how it is for me as well. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/54 "2010-03-13T14:49:13Z")
\*\*Glory \*\*and \*\*torie \*\*(that rhymes!), interesting. > [@Eureka](#): > > I don’t use food as a coping mechanism for depression. And if that’s what you think emotional eating is, no wonder it doesn’t make sense to you. But if you picture my mood as being somewhere on a scale from 1 to 10, eating --especially cheesey, starchy, fatty foods–can bump me up a point or two. Well if the question is “Do we do things that make us feel good in order to feel good?” the answer should be a resounding “Duh” for most people. Based on this thread title, and the OP from the thread that inspired it, and some of the posts I’ve read, I get that we’re talking about different things here. But hey, I could be wrong. Apparently the term “comfort food” means something different from what I’ve understood it to mean _my entire life_. So here we are. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/55 "2010-03-13T15:32:04Z")
I voted “sometimes.” I never eat because I’m stressed, depressed, angry, etc. In fact, I’m with those who can’t eat while feeling such strong emotions. However, when I’m bored? Oh yeah. That’s the hardest time to resist the munchies. Just yesterday I had a morning filled with boring, long conference calls then had to spend the afternoon cranking out spreadsheets. And then the smell of someone’s microwave popcorn came floating through our office… I don’t even _like_ microwave bag popcorn that much, but it was really hard to get my mind off how much I wanted some! Probably because there really wasn’t much else to occupy my mind with. The spreadsheets were just drudgery. ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/56 "2010-03-13T15:43:35Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Good grief, you’d think people had never heard of a displacement activity. > > That’s what emotional eating (drinking/gambling/shopping/exercise/cooking/bubble bathing) is, a displacement activity. Something you do as a distraction to avoid dealing with whatever is bothering you. It doesn’t fix the problem, obviously, but it keeps you from dwelling on the situation until the problem resolves itself or your other coping mechanisms kick in. This nails it, if you ask me. I’m not sure why people are having trouble with the concept of eating as a coping mechanism. It’s like smoking, or drinking alcohol, or self-harm, or one of many, many things that people do in a (misguided, but genuine) attempt to make bad feelings go away. None of those are things you choose to do if you have other options, but all of them kind-of work, and can become an unconscious, immediate response to negative emotion. You can learn other, better things to do instead, but it takes a lot of effort, and it takes an awareness that there _are_ other ways of dealing with things that might work. That’s why it’s not as easy as telling people to “just stop eating so much” sometimes, when they’re trying to lose weight… ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/57 "2010-03-14T22:39:41Z")
This thread makes me want to go out and buy a red velvet cake and eat the whole thing 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/58 "2010-03-15T02:44:16Z")
When I find myself feeling depressed, I go eat something with meat; in fact, if I don’t eat meat often enough I tend to feel more depressed. It’s been my understanding for years ( although I ate meat to counter depressing emotions well before I heard this ) that a lack of meat in the diet can lead to depression; at any rate, whether it’s a real effect or just placebo effect meat eating cheers me up. ---
**Author:** ![hamwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@hamwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hamwater)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/59 "2010-03-15T04:44:12Z")
[QUOTE] > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Yes. I didn’t realize I was an emotional eater for a long time, until I started paying attention. The relationship between my stress levels and how I chose to eat was pretty blatant. I am sure that there are many overeaters out there who are eating emotionally and are just not aware of it. If we were all eating strictly to stay alive, I don’t see how there would be so many overweight people. You’d eat what you needed for nutrition and that would be that. Of course there are people who don’t eat emotionally, but IMO there are probably quite a few emotional eaters who just haven’t made the connection. I am one who has made the connection, unfortunately that hasn’t stopped me from continuing to do it. 🙂 I also wanted to say that I’m really excited that I was able to quote Olives successfully. I have been hanging around for years and years but have only recently started to post. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271/60 "2010-03-15T05:07:51Z")
[QUOTE=hamwater] I am sure that there are many overeaters out there who are eating emotionally and are just not aware of it. If we were all eating strictly to stay alive, I don’t see how there would be so many overweight people. You’d eat what you needed for nutrition and that would be that. Of course there are people who don’t eat emotionally, but IMO there are probably quite a few emotional eaters who just haven’t made the connection. I am one who has made the connection, unfortunately that hasn’t stopped me from continuing to do it. 🙂 I also wanted to say that I’m really excited that I was able to quote Olives successfully. I have been hanging around for years and years but have only recently started to post. [/QUOTE] Good job on your successful quotation! I think people sometimes have a misguided idea about what it means to be an emotional eater. It’s not like sobbing into a carton of ice cream (most of the time.) Usually it’s just like, ‘‘Gah! I’m so stressed! I’m so stressed! I’m so-- holy crap did I really just eat half a pizza?’’ It takes consistent observation to realize the two are connected. It didn’t become clear to me until I started grad school, in which case it was so blatant it was impossible to ignore. I would come straight home from internship exhausted and freaked out and order takeout pretty much the second I got in the door, because it really felt like the only positive thing I had in my day. That’s when I caught phrases coming out of my mouth like, ‘‘Holy crap this day sucked. I need something deep fried.’’ It’s also interesting, because even when you’re aware of it, it’s so automatic that it’s difficult to stop. I vividly remember one day I was offered a giant muffin. I took a few bites of the muffin and then set it aside for later. Five minutes later I realized I’d eaten the muffin! I had no intention of doing it. I didn’t realize I was doing it. I just did it. Because that’s how I was conditioned to cope with stress. It’s the same process when you blank out while driving and wonder how you got that far. I was eating while my mind was checked out ruminating on stuff. Crazy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-eat-to-help-cope-with-emotional-issues/532271.md?page=4)