They’d eat him/her.
faithfool “Oh, aren’t you the cutest little thing! Aren’t you glad we picked you up?!”
Pet: “Pssst. Tonight’s the breakout. Remember, no survivors, no scraps.”
Absolutely. That and I’ve had cats that disagreed with me as choice of owner. They tell tales of living in luxury with fresh fish catches each day and gold plated bowls. I think I’m probably a step down or two for some of my past kittehs.
Yeah, you’ve made your point of view pretty evident.
Perhaps you should start a Pit thread about pet owners.
Are you kidding? We regaled our dog Gypsy with what became known as The Legend of Gypsy, all about our finding her and how she was lame but her leg healed and so on and so on. I often do it with the other dogs but their stories don’t have legend status like hers (best dog ever) did. Our cat is 16 and we still tell him about how he was found when he was a kitten (with his eyes not yet open) on the chip pile at the plywood mill where my husband works. Or we will say to each other when one is petting him, “He came from the chip pile, didn’t he?”
I’ll start what I fucken well feel like starting, kay?
Ditto, and I don’t feel like starting a pit thread. Instead, I want to tell you what a cute little salamander you are, and how happy I am to know you. Who’s a good boy? You are!!! Good boy!!! 
pseudotriton ruber ruber, you were given a moderator instruction to stop threadshitting; if you felt the need to continue you were told to take it to the pit. Subsequent mouthing off earns you an official warning.
Ellen Cherry
IMHO Moderator
He’ll mouth off and threadshit and obtain official warnings if he fucken well feels like it, okay?
Once upon a time there was a baby puppy who was the sweetest, cutest, friendliest, most wonderfullest and bestest puppy in the whole known universe, and probably the unknown parts as well, but seeing how they are unknown we can’t be sure. He lived in Maine with his mommy and grandma, four or five aunts, and all his brothers and sisters. There were also two horses out in the yard, and a nice woman to take care of them all. The puppy was very happy, but then one by one, his brothers and sisters left until it was just him and one brother and sister. Then one day, some people came to visit the puppies. There were two women and one man, and while they talked to the nice woman who took care of the puppies, they got down on the floor to play with the puppies. The puppies liked this very much, and had a lot of fun with new people. After they’d all played for a long while, it was time for the people to go. And when they went, they took the sweetest, cutest, friendliest, most wonderfullest and bestest puppy in the whole known universe with them, tenderly cradled in the man’s arms. They took the puppy to a house with two grown up golden retrievers, who were the puppy’s new adopted cousins. They showed the puppy how to get along in the new house, and let him use an old bed of theirs and chew on one of their old bones. The puppy liked this, and chewed away industriously. The puppy stayed at this new house with the new people and the new dogs all the next day. On the day after that, the puppy was put in a truck and left with the man, who was the puppy’s new daddy, and one of the women, for his new home in Connecticut, where he lived happily ever after.
I often tell this as a bedtime story to my friend Al’s golden retriever when I dogsit. It is the story of the dog’s adoption (the people in the story are my friend Al, his sister, and myself).
Kyla, I think what he’s trying to say here is that you should be very disappointed because that means that since he thinks you’re crazy, grandpa doesn’t want to date you.
I’m sure you won’t be able to be consoled by the thought so let me be the first to offer you:
{{{{{ **Kyla **}}}}}
I think it’s a sweet idea. We love our cat dearly, but we constantly berate her for not going to college, getting a job, or helping with the bills.
No, but I sing at them, and if I’m singing along with a song I don’t really know the words to, I make the words kitty-oriented. My cats do get an odd look on their face when I am singing at them; no hairballs in my face so far, though, so hopefully it’s not actually painful for them.
If I could just get my dog to take out the garbage once in a while. Or lift the other side of the big box that I have to get up the stairs. But she is more of a supervisor than a worker.
I do talk to my little Buddy about the first day I saw him. I’d just attended a funeral for a relative so I was a bit out of sorts. My daughters and I stopped on the way home at Petco to pick something up for the cats…okay to cheer ourselves up by playing with the ferrets and bunnies too. There was a rescue group hosting a pet adoption event in front of the store; something I generally avoid since I don’t have room or money for new pets.
But as I walked in, this little skinny black dachshund mix locked eyes. I walked straight over to him and he came right to me when I came within leash reach. It’s like we already knew each other! I petted and talked to him but, like I said, I had no money for doggies. I even walked away, went into the store and got whatever it was I needed, but when I walked out he was just staring at me with this desperate “GET ME OUTTA HERE! I’M SURROUNDED BY ANIMALS!!!” look.
So Buddy became my early birthday present from my daughter. Of course I’ve learned since then that he has a magical talent for turning on that look for just about any reason: My handsome fellow | bellabrigido | Flickr
I tell all my foundling critters (which is most of them) how glad I am that they found me/I found them. It usually goes along with a skritch, hug, or shoulder ride session, depending on which critter 
I know they don’t understand the words, but I think they are sensitive enough to understand the basic emotions being projected (pleasure, contentment, happiness)
Oh man, I read the title three times and then the OP before I twigged that it said “pets” and not “parents.” Now that would be a weird story. “So after nine months of warm, cozy suspension I was thrust out in to a cold, bright room, and I saw these anxious faces…”
[Mod Note]There is a thread ATMB concerning that-lets try to keep on topic, o.k.?[/Mod Note]
I’m not surprised by anything anyone says to their pets in private. It’s perfectly natural for people to personify inanimate objects; it’s hardly strange to talk to an actual living being like it’s a person.
However, in public … that calls for a certain level of dignity and decorum.
in my lifetime, every one of my six cats have been strays. those who have passed on, all lived to ripe old ages as pampered housecats.
yep, every one of them has heard their individual story of how they came to be part of my life.
to be sure, some stories are bigger than others - such as the night my beloved murphy, then a pint-size kitten, came literally screaming out of the dark at me, or my road trip to tennessee several years ago to collect miss magnolia 
, but they **all **have them.
For a thorough understanding of the phenomenon: xkcd: Cat Proximity