# Do You Ever Want to be a Loner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981 "2003-04-29T19:44:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981/21 "2003-04-30T06:53:38Z")
People like to rank on the Myers-Briggs test a lot, and most of it is probably deserved, but taking one a few years ago really helped me. It identified me as a introvert. I never would have thought I was introverted–I’m friendly and can talk to anyone–but I do prefer to be by myself a lot of the time, and I don’t get off on social interaction. I guess I always thought there was something wrong with me because of that, but I now understand that it’s just the way I am. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981/22 "2003-04-30T07:43:38Z")
[Yep.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=127577) More so now that I’ve got the annoying roommate from hell. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981/23 "2003-04-30T12:07:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*People like to rank on the Myers-Briggs test a lot, and most of it is probably deserved, but taking one a few years ago really helped me. It identified me as a introvert. I never would have thought I was introverted–I’m friendly and can talk to anyone–but I do prefer to be by myself a lot of the time, and I don’t get off on social interaction. I guess I always thought there was something wrong with me because of that, but I now understand that it’s just the way I am. \*\* That’s _exactly_ the way I am. I am often told I am friendly and I can start a conversation with just about anyone but I really prefer to be by myself. Well, as much by myself as I can get being married with two kids, that is. I have two very close female friends that I talk to on a regular basis, I’m extremely close to my sister and mother, and I have a ton of online buddies. My husband and I go out with mutual friends sometimes, but IRL I much prefer spending time alone. Give me a good book, some good music on the stereo and leave me alone, and I’m set. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![olefin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d78d45/32.png) [@olefin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/olefin)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981/24 "2003-04-30T18:49:19Z")
**Sat on Cookie** You are not alone. My wife and I are just like you. We have no friends but are the best of friends to each other. We are always together… I’m retired, the only place I don’t go with my wife is to her hair dresser. That amounts to about an hour a week that we are apart. We both have no interest that the other doesn’t have. I was pretty much a loner when we married but she wasn’t. But now she is just like me. 😉 I don’t know what either of us will do when we are left alone?:smack: ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981/25 "2003-04-30T19:25:14Z")
I generally have a lot of friends wherever I go but sometimes that starts to get on my nerves. When I have a lot on my mind or when my social calendar starts rivaling my professional calendar in the numbger of appts, I start coveting solitude. Occaisionally I escape to the beach but one of my favorites is to go to a large city (Paris, New York, DC) and spend time in a hotel and not talk to anyone. It probably sounds weird but I check in and other than hotel and wait staff I don’t call anyone, or do anything. I eat alone, walk around the city alone, go to galleries alone and it is absolutely WONDERFUL. I love to be lost in a crowd. After a few days I feel like my head clears and i go back to real life. ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981/26 "2003-04-30T19:32:27Z")
Thank you for the responses! I would have written sooner but I was busy being alone 😉 It’s nice to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. For me, I think it stems a lot from shyness and as **irishajo** said, feeling like I am acting a lot of the time – playing the part of someone who is comfortable with chitting and chatting when I am not. It is an interesting observation for me to have made about myself because I have spent a long time trying to work against the current, so to speak. I must say, it’s liberating to admit that maybe I’m just not cut out for casual friendships. [Example] I lived on a cul-de-sac a few years ago in a very neighborly neighborhood. A lot of stay-at-home moms and children. (I do not have kids). I genuinely liked my neighbors a lot and would socialize at parties during the holidays, but I used to DREAD coming home from work. They would all be out talking and playing and I felt like the damn grinch if I just came home and drove directly into my garage [/end of example]. I did not peer out any windows, so I suppose that is a plus 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ever-want-to-be-a-loner/171981.md?page=1)