# Do you get annoyed when strangers comment about your food? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 14, 2021, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688 "2021-08-14T23:09:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/42 "2021-08-15T13:24:12Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > My employer requires me to engage with customers. That’s interesting. I live in the US, but a different region, i assume. I’m pretty certain that’s not required of my cashiers. The only ones i ever “blather” with are ones who’ve been working in the same store for years, and we recognize each other. And we don’t chat much, because they are busy ringing up my order. Mostly they just ask if i have a rewards card, if i want the meat in a separate bag from the rest of the groceries, and if a want a receipt. And i can’t imagine anyone is annoyed by those questions, which don’t add any time to the transaction. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/43 "2021-08-15T14:00:42Z")
Stop blaming your employer for your own unwanted (to some) behavior. You’re an adult, you have agency. “They made me do it” is a poor look. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/44 "2021-08-15T14:08:12Z")
I don’t want anyone commenting on my food choices past “that looks good”. I have a lot of shame associated with eating and my emotional response to pretty much anything else is pretty negative. I have avoided particular cashiers in the past because they always comment on purchases. I am nice and don’t say anything, because they don’t know, but if you want to know how I would feel in most of those cases, I would feel ashamed. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/45 "2021-08-15T14:10:51Z")
Last Thursday, I had an old guy stop me in the middle of the frozen aisle: Old guy: Let me ask you something… Me: (What fresh hell…) Of course, fire away… Old guy: What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Me: (Should I ask him how he knows I don’t drive a BMW?..). I don’t know… Old guy: (says punchline…) Me: (Start walking.) HA! Excellent! Thanks for the laugh. I think for some people being out and seeing other people is an invitation to chat them up. I see no reason to be rude to them. I just like to project unapproachability to discourage the behavior. It’s harder to do wearing a mask. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/46 "2021-08-15T14:15:33Z")
I have a plague doctor t-shirt that I might wear on my next visit to Kroger. For even more unapproachability, there’s full regalia… > **[Amazon.com: EraSpooky Plague Doctor Costume Men Halloween Party Warlock Coat...](https://www.amazon.com/Eraspooky-Costume-Halloween-Steampunk-Medieval/dp/B08CXHFRCG)** > > The plague is coming! At this time, only the plague doctor will rise to the challenge and help everyone out of the predicament.Size Chart:M: Length:145cm/57.09in Chest:120cm/47.24in Sleeves:60cm/23.62in Belt Length:101cm/39.76inL:... ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/47 "2021-08-15T15:13:14Z")
> [@Hakushon](#): > > Example #1: You’re buying many of the same item (eg, potato chips) because there’s a sale (but you’re not at Costco). Cashier: “Are you having a party?” > > Example #2: You’re buying several things that don’t normally go together (eg, chewing gum, strawberry jelly, and raw fish). Cashier (speaking seriously): “Are you going to spread the gum and jelly on top of the fish before you cook it?” > > Example #3: Amongst your various groceries is one pint of ice cream. Skinny woman standing in line behind you (as loudly as possible): “Mmm, ice cream!” And again, as you’re leaving (shouting after you): “Enjoy your ice cream!” > > Example #4: You’re at a buffet. Person next to you in the buffet line: “We’re being so bad, aren’t we?” #1: I wouldn’t expect them to comment on it, but wouldn’t be annoyed about it. It’s a very general sort of comment with no implied criticism. #2: That has got to be a joke. Cashier’s got a good straight face, that’s all. Whether I’d think it was a funny joke would probably depend on the mood I was in. – with a less drastic example, say an uncommon herb instead of the gum, I might take it as a request for recipes. If the line’s not busy and I’m not busy, we might discuss cooking fish, say, with an ingredient unfamiliar to the cashier. Or not. #3: That comes across as criticism. (‘Mmm, icecream’ in an ordinary voice might not be, but shouting it out is, let alone repeatedly.) It’s entirely out of line, and I’d be very annoyed, whether I or somebody else was the victim. #4: That’s also annoying. It’s saying neither I nor the person next to me ought to be eating what we’re selecting. Including themselves in the criticized group doesn’t make it not a criticism; and I might get mildly snarky back – ‘no, we’re not being bad, why do you think that it’s bad to eat?’ or something of the sort; or might just give them a moderate glare with raised eyebrows. – if somebody notices cat food in the cart and wants to talk about cats, that’s OK; it’s unlikely that somebody buying cat food doesn’t want to talk about cats, unless they just don’t want to talk. (Watch for not-wanting-to-talk signals, and shut up if you get them.) If somebody noticed cat food in the cart and started talking about how that was a waste of money, or in a critical voice ‘wow, you must have a lot of cats’, or some such, that would be very annoying. Looking back at all of that, I think I’m distinguishing between criticizing somebody else’s food choices, and commenting on them otherwise. I think it would also be annoying to comment on them for being “exotic”, though --‘I’ve never eaten gefilte fish, what’s it like?’ is one thing, and I think OK; ‘Why do people buy that weird gefilte fish?’ is another. And ‘if you’re buying gefilte fish you must also buy/do x, tell me about that’ is a third, and very out of line and annoying – though come to think of it, ‘gefilte fish! I’m new in town, do you know where there’s a good Reform congregation?’ wouldn’t be annoying, though I wouldn’t be able to answer it. But that doesn’t imply ‘gefilte fish is Strange and so are you’. > [@Bootb](#): > > It’s called “being out in public” for a reason. If you don’t want to interact with people, then do the world a favor, and don’t step outside your front door. Being out in public doesn’t mean agreeing to interact with all strangers in any fashion whatsoever. Walking down the street doesn’t mean random strangers are allowed to comment on my ass and tits; and being in the grocery line doesn’t mean random strangers are allowed to tell me what they think I shouldn’t be eating. > [@Tabco](#): > > During one grocery trip I bought several frozen dinners. The cashier remarked that I must live alone. That is rude and potentially creepy. Also IMO inaccurate – people who live with others also often eat frozen dinners. > [@Broomstick](#): > > My employer requires me to engage with customers. If a manager is watching and I am NOT chatting with you I can be punished for that lack This is unfortunate and also shows a really bad failure of understanding on the part of the employer, who is pissing off customers apparently without realizing it. > [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Stop blaming your employer for your own unwanted (to some) behavior. You’re an adult, you have agency. “They made me do it” is a poor look. Oh, good grief. All jobs come with requirements. That employer’s being an ass, but not the kind of ass that’s worth being out of work and possibly out on the street over. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/48 "2021-08-15T15:47:05Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > if somebody notices cat food in the cart and wants to talk about cats, that’s OK; it’s unlikely that somebody buying cat food doesn’t want to talk about cats, unless they just don’t want to talk. One time when I was grabbing a few cans of cat food, someone walking by asked my kitties’ name. I told them I didn’t have a cat. Awkward! (Raccoon bait for my hav-a-heart trap) ---
**Author:** ![Hakushon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hakushon/32/5503_2.png) [@Hakushon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakushon)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/49 "2021-08-15T16:41:09Z")
Regarding example #2: it was definitely not a joke. Please see my reply to Richard\_Pearse (above). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/50 "2021-08-15T18:09:25Z")
I can back it up – we had to at least look like we were being “friendly” with customers, at least when I worked at Kmart. And as I’m sure you remember, being a cashier is an incredibly boring job. You’d go nuts if you didn’t talk to _someone_. Anyone’s who’s offended by “that looks yummy” really, REALLY has issues. So get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![ahduval](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahduval/32/11513_2.png) [@ahduval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ahduval)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/51 "2021-08-15T18:14:24Z")
What agency, the previous client I had as a CSR (over the phone) required us to chat with the customer, to the extent that several very good agents that I know were up on disciple because they were not filling the silences correctly. If the agents did not correct their actions, they would have been removed from the job for not meeting expectations. Unless you mean the agency to work or not to work. As far as he grocery store I shop at, wearing headphones prevents most other people from trying to talk to me. And the cashiers typically only comment If I purchase something new like pink pineapple, or if something rings up on a great sale. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/52 "2021-08-15T18:25:57Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Stop blaming your employer for your own unwanted (to some) behavior. You’re an adult, you have agency. “They made me do it” is a poor look. Stop blaming the employee for the employer’s policy. If one cashier in the shop always chats you up in ways you don’t like, avoid that cashier. If every cashier does so, it’s the store’s policy. Avoid the store, complain to management, or live with it. But don’t take it out on the employees. > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > [@Bootb](#): > > > > It’s called “being out in public” for a reason. If you don’t want to interact with people, then do the world a favor, and don’t step outside your front door. > > Being out in public doesn’t mean agreeing to interact with all strangers in any fashion whatsoever. Walking down the street doesn’t mean random strangers are allowed to comment on my ass and tits; and being in the grocery line doesn’t mean random strangers are allowed to tell me what they think I shouldn’t be eating. 😆 When I was younger I had striking red hair. If I was sitting in central park reading a novel, strangers would literally walk up to me and ask if that was my natural hair color. And New York City is not the land of casual chit-chat with strangers. All these grocery questions seem very tame to me. As I said above, the only one that would annoy me is the one about ice-cream, and that’s because it sounds like sweet-shaming. But it wouldn’t annoy me to the extent that I’d do anything about it beyond ignoring it, or perhaps responding with a cold stare. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/53 "2021-08-15T18:54:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > > if somebody notices cat food in the cart and wants to talk about cats, that’s OK; it’s unlikely that somebody buying cat food doesn’t want to talk about cats, unless they just don’t want to talk. > > One time when I was grabbing a few cans of cat food, someone walking by asked my kitties’ name. I told them I didn’t have a cat. Awkward! (Raccoon bait for my hav-a-heart trap) OK, you’ve got me there! (Though I did say “unlikely”, not “impossible.” ETA: Someone could also be buying food for another person’s cats, with their interest being in doing a favor for the other person, not in the cats. > [@Hakushon](#): > > Regarding example #2: it was definitely not a joke. Please see my reply to Richard\_Pearse (above). Including the gum? ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/54 "2021-08-15T18:57:52Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > When I was younger I had striking red hair. If I was sitting in central park reading a novel, strangers would literally walk up to me and ask if that was my natural hair color. I have curly hair, and people always used to ask me if I had a perm. They used to tell me I was “lucky” it was natural. Heh, I used to inwardly think “when I was a kid I HATED my hair – where were you then?” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/55 "2021-08-15T19:20:17Z")
When I was a drugstore cashier, I nearly always asked the name of people’s pets if they were buying pet food. People did like to tell me about their animals, and I was interested to hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2021, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/56 "2021-08-15T23:50:28Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > When I’m chilling at the bar, then you can say something. But don’t expect me to be too chatty back until I’m 3 or 4 beers in. So, about 10-15 minutes. Got it. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/57 "2021-08-16T00:12:31Z")
Sometimes…sometimes. Especially if my day was filled with people impeding my progress with inanity. ---
**Author:** ![Hakushon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hakushon/32/5503_2.png) [@Hakushon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakushon)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/58 "2021-08-16T00:34:56Z")
The example was purely imaginary, including the gum. The gum never existed. Forget about the gum. Leave the gum, take the cannoli (although there is no actual cannoli, here, either). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/59 "2021-08-16T00:49:16Z")
The most interesting question to me is why you find this so annoying. The scenarios you raise seem trivially innocuous to me, but you care so much you started a thread about it. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/60 "2021-08-16T01:19:53Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Stop blaming the employee for the employer’s policy. I’m not. It’s just that the poster has a history of embellishing her stories. IIRC, she’s admitted so on this very message board. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688/61 "2021-08-16T01:22:07Z")
None of these things would annoy me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-annoyed-when-strangers-comment-about-your-food/948688.md?page=4)