# Do you get irrationally irritated by accents / voice traits? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332 "2015-04-23T01:21:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/141 "2020-03-04T07:19:24Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > If your way of speaking does not make the distinction among Mary/Merry/Marry I will automatically brand you a hick and a fool. No exceptions. Well, guess that makes most Midwesterners hicks and fools then. ---
**Author:** ![jerez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c68b51/32.png) [@jerez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerez)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/142 "2020-03-04T08:15:55Z")
**^** Yeah, that’s gotta be some kind of joke. I don’t care much for affectation, especially when Americans shift into (their version of) a British accent or pronunciation because they want to sound more formal, knowledgeable, elegant, etc. IME, some people from the East Coast do this (Melvin Van Horne, anyone?) and it sometimes seems more of a mannerism than an affectation (=unintentional). When it’s a defense mechanism to deal with insecurity, it can be overlooked, to an extent. I remember a coworker who insisted on pronouncing superb as “_supuuuhb_.” In our first exchange, he said he loved fine wine and opera, which aren’t my thing nor do they have to be, but after hearing him use that word a few times, I had to pretend to be late for an appointment. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/143 "2020-03-04T18:30:44Z")
> [@kitap](#): > > Well, guess that makes most Midwesterners hicks and fools then. Only 17% of US speakers pronounce “Mary/merry/marry” differently. 57% pronounce them all the same. The rest usually pronounce “Mary” and “marry” the same, and “merry” differently. My dialect (Great Lakes/Inland North) pronounces all three the same. Dialect snobs are ignorant fools. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/144 "2020-03-04T18:57:46Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Only 17% of US speakers pronounce “Mary/merry/marry” differently. 57% pronounce them all the same. The rest usually pronounce “Mary” and “marry” the same, and “merry” differently. > > My dialect (Great Lakes/Inland North) pronounces all three the same. > > Dialect snobs are ignorant fools. This must be the hundredth thread where the Mary /Marry/Merry thing has come up and I still don’t understand how "Mary"and "marry’ could differ. Merry I get, but of all things I hate about peoples’ speech idiosyncracies, that ain’t one of 'em. In fact, my name is Shari, meant to rhyme with “mary”, which is how I pronounce it. If you pronounce it to rhyme with “merry” I don’t mind at all, but do not, upon learning the spelling, say “oh, it’s pronounce SHAAAARY”. Is that how some folks think that’s how “marry” is supposed to be said? To my ears that’s a completely East Coast thing. ---
**Author:** ![Calavera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calavera/32/70_2.png) [@Calavera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calavera)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/145 "2020-03-04T19:22:45Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > This must be the hundredth thread where the Mary /Marry/Merry thing has come up and I still don’t understand how "Mary"and "marry’ could differ. Merry I get, but of all things I hate about peoples’ speech idiosyncracies, that ain’t one of 'em. In fact, my name is Shari, meant to rhyme with “mary”, which is how I pronounce it. If you pronounce it to rhyme with “merry” I don’t mind at all, but do not, upon learning the spelling, say “oh, it’s pronounce SHAAAARY”. Is that how some folks think that’s how “marry” is supposed to be said? To my ears that’s a completely East Coast thing. UK RP speaker: I see it as Mary = Mare, (like a horse)-ree Marry = Mar[del]ion[/del], (like the first part of Maid Marion)-ree Merry = meh (like a grunt of disinterest)-ree Very clear differences when spoken. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/146 "2020-03-04T19:30:07Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > This must be the hundredth thread where the Mary /Marry/Merry thing has come up and I still don’t understand how "Mary"and "marry’ could differ. Merry I get, but of all things I hate about peoples’ speech idiosyncracies, that ain’t one of 'em. In fact, my name is Shari, meant to rhyme with “mary”, which is how I pronounce it. If you pronounce it to rhyme with “merry” I don’t mind at all, but do not, upon learning the spelling, say “oh, it’s pronounce SHAAAARY”. Is that how some folks think that’s how “marry” is supposed to be said? To my ears that’s a completely East Coast thing. The three vowels in “Mary,” “merry,” and “marry” are the vowels in “bate,” “bet,” and “bat” ([beɪt] [bɛt] [bæt]) or “mate,” “met,” and “mat” ([meɪt] [mɛt] [mæt]). In your (our?) dialect, the _R_-coloring sort of pulls at the vowels to erase the distinction. Here’s an example, but because your brain has been trained to consider them merged, it might take you many listens to start to hear the distinction – [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU) ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/147 "2020-03-04T19:33:26Z")
> [@Calavera](#): > > UK RP speaker: > > I see it as > > Mary = Mare, (like a horse)-ree > Marry = Mar[del]ion[/del], (like the first part of Maid Marion)-ree > Merry = meh (like a grunt of disinterest)-ree > > Very clear differences when spoken. This is not going to help someone with the merger. We pronounce “Mare,” “Mary,” and “Marion” with the same vowel. ---
**Author:** ![Calavera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calavera/32/70_2.png) [@Calavera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calavera)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/148 "2020-03-04T20:12:45Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > The three vowels in “Mary,” “merry,” and “marry” are the vowels in “bate,” “bet,” and “bat” ([beɪt] [bɛt] [bæt]) or “mate,” “met,” and “mat” ([meɪt] [mɛt] [mæt]). > > In your (our?) dialect, the _R_-coloring sort of pulls at the vowels to erase the distinction. > > Here’s an example, but because your brain has been trained to consider them merged, it might take you many listens to start to hear the distinction – [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU) To my ears the woman in the video pronounces them all the same. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/149 "2020-03-04T20:13:36Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > The three vowels in “Mary,” “merry,” and “marry” are the vowels in “bate,” “bet,” and “bat” ([beɪt] [bɛt] [bæt]) or “mate,” “met,” and “mat” ([meɪt] [mɛt] [mæt]). > > In your (our?) dialect, the _R_-coloring sort of pulls at the vowels to erase the distinction. > > Here’s an example, but because your brain has been trained to consider them merged, it might take you many listens to start to hear the distinction – [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU) It’s interesting to me, as while those do sound different to me in that recording, the “a” in “Mary” doesn’t really sound like a diphthong to me, and different from the vowel in “bate” which is a clear /eɪ/. To my ears, it closer to just an /e/ (not an /ɛ/), but perhaps not quite that either. I’ve always read the “Mary” to be transcribed with an /eɪ/ for the vowel, but, try as I might, I just don’t quite hear it that way. I understand that my accent treats all those as basically the same phoneme in that context, so I may not be primed to hear it, but the /eɪ/ phoneme does exist in my dialect, of course. If I say “may-ree,” it doesn’t sound the same as the “Mary” in that example. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/150 "2020-03-04T20:15:29Z")
There is nothing irrational about wanting to throat-punch people who pronounce ‘Sale’ like ‘sell’, or ‘Whale’ like ‘well’. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2020, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/151 "2020-03-04T21:15:37Z")
> [@Calavera](#): > > To my ears the woman in the video pronounces them all the same. Which is what I said would happen. Just as you spent your childhood learning to hear and pronounce the phonemes in your own dialect, you often have to learn how to hear phonemic distinctions in other dialects. You could start by paying attention to how your mouth (lips, tongue, jaw) moves and positions to make the “mate, met, mat” vowels, and then start pronouncing them in isolation and then trying to insert them into “Mary, merry, marry.” When you start training your mouth to make the sounds, you will start training your brain to hear the sounds. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/152 "2020-03-05T06:58:10Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is not going to help someone with the merger. We pronounce “Mare,” “Mary,” and “Marion” with the same vowel. Also I have heard them pronounced differently, but I sure can’t do it. On a different message board someone was complaining about how her name, Erin, is not pronounced Aaron. I was like “yeah it is”. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/153 "2020-03-05T13:18:31Z")
> [@kitap](#): > > Also I have heard them pronounced differently, but I sure can’t do it. On a different message board someone was complaining about how her name, Erin, is not pronounced Aaron. I was like “yeah it is”. Yeah, “Erin” and “Aaron” are homophones in my dialect. I can make them sound different, but it’s a bit awkward. All you do is instead of the “short-a” /ae/ sound at the beginning of “Aaron,” you say start with an “eh” sound, /ɛ/. It’s awkward, because it doesn’t seem my dialect really puts an /ɛ/ immediately behind an “r” sound. But that’s all the difference is. If you can get yourself to say “eh-rin” instead of “ae-rin,” that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/154 "2020-03-05T14:36:40Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yeah, “Erin” and “Aaron” are homophones in my dialect. I can make them sound different, but it’s a bit awkward. All you do is instead of the “short-a” /ae/ sound at the beginning of “Aaron,” you say start with an “eh” sound, /ɛ/. It’s awkward, because it doesn’t seem my dialect really puts an /ɛ/ immediately behind an “r” sound. But that’s all the difference is. If you can get yourself to say “eh-rin” instead of “ae-rin,” that’s it. Or just pronounce “Aaron” like [Key & Peele](https://youtu.be/Dd7FixvoKBw?t=103) do. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/155 "2020-03-05T14:51:36Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > The three vowels in “Mary,” “merry,” and “marry” are the vowels in “bate,” “bet,” and “bat” ([beɪt] [bɛt] [bæt]) or “mate,” “met,” and “mat” ([meɪt] [mɛt] [mæt]). > > In your (our?) dialect, the _R_-coloring sort of pulls at the vowels to erase the distinction. > > Here’s an example, but because your brain has been trained to consider them merged, it might take you many listens to start to hear the distinction – [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0gxuv48iU) Thanks, **Ascenray** ; I should have just asked you directly 🙂 It seems I did understand my IPA cheat sheet, just couldn’t imagine the sound in my mind’s ears. That seems a clunky pronunciation of “Mary” but I realize it’s subtle when actually voiced. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/156 "2020-03-05T16:15:33Z")
What’s fascinating about this thread is that it’s made me realize that not only do people speak differently, they literally HEAR differently (if I were to marry Merry Mary, I’d hear no difference). My MIL is an elderly Japanese woman who once asked my toddlers “Jew like flutes?” (Deer in headlights stare from both kids) "So, jew like _flutes?"_ Luckily her daughter stepped in and said “Oh, sure, mom, they’d love some fruit.” But what I’ve learned is that she doesn’t hear any difference between an R sound and an L. Never has. So that “hilarious” cliché\* is true, but it’s not just an artifact of their accent. It’s how brains are wired. \*I heard it a lot in '50s cartoons (asian character in coolie hat to Bugs Bunny: “Honolable labbit ees collect!”) ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/157 "2020-03-05T18:02:58Z")
> [@kitap](#): > > Also I have heard them pronounced differently, but I sure can’t do it. On a different message board someone was complaining about how her name, Erin, is not pronounced Aaron. I was like “yeah it is”. I once worked with someone named Aaron. Once a woman asked me to go get Erin, and I was \*so \*confused, I was like “There is no woman here by that name?😕” Which made her confused, “No, your co-worker? The guy in the back room, Erin?” :smack: She must have been from the mid-west because here in NY, those names are \*very \*different. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/158 "2020-03-05T18:52:04Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I once worked with someone named Aaron. Once a woman asked me to go get Erin, and I was \*so \*confused, I was like “There is no woman here by that name?😕” Which made her confused, “No, your co-worker? The guy in the back room, Erin?” :smack: > > She must have been from the mid-west because here in NY, those names are \*very \*different. If the person’s name that they were asking for was “Dawn” and you heard it as “Don” would you also not understand who they were asking for? ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/159 "2020-03-05T20:41:36Z")
My stepdaughter Erin has a cousin named Aaron. This was no problem when we all lived in New York. Aaron moved to Tennessee and when Erin went to visit, hilarity and confusion ensued. Erin started being referred to as “the girl Erin”. I don’t see how midwesterners cannot discern eh from ah. As in “I met a cat”. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2020, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332/160 "2020-03-05T21:14:52Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > If the person’s name that they were asking for was “Dawn” and you heard it as “Don” would you also not understand who they were asking for? If I worked with a Dawn and someone asked me where Don was, that may momentarily confuse me, though the difference between those two is not as strong with as Aaron/Erin. Maybe it’s because the difference is at the beginning of the name? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-get-irrationally-irritated-by-accents-voice-traits/718332.md?page=9)