# Do you give "dead fish" handshakes? Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189 "2004-08-24T00:54:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/41 "2014-05-03T20:53:44Z")
> [@SirGalahad](#): > > They’re judging your “manliness”. How silly is that? They should grasp my penis for that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SirGalahad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@SirGalahad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirGalahad)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/42 "2014-05-03T21:11:19Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > They should grasp my penis for that. 😉 Touche’ ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/43 "2014-05-04T18:25:56Z")
> [@emcee2k](#): > > People read way too much into a handshake. Not really. You ought to check into the study of nonverbal communication. The majority of our feelings and attitudes are communicated through our behavior rather than our words. So being able to read a person’s body language, if you want to understand a person well, is a good skill to have. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/44 "2014-05-04T22:18:05Z")
I shake very lightly because of an experience I had in elementary school. I was horsing around with my friend and I really didn’t think I was trying hard, but apparently he had to go the hospital later with a chipped tooth and chipped bone in his elbow. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/45 "2014-05-04T22:32:15Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I shake very lightly because of an experience I had in elementary school. I was horsing around with my friend and I really didn’t think I was trying hard, but apparently he had to go the hospital later with a chipped tooth and chipped bone in his elbow. Pro-tip: If your handshake chips your friend’s tooth, it is probably a tiny bit too enthusiastic. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/46 "2014-05-05T00:59:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Does it count as “legitimate” handshake rape then? Handshakes being tantamount to rape will never stop being funny. ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/47 "2014-05-05T02:19:54Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > Not really. You ought to check into the study of nonverbal communication. > > The majority of our feelings and attitudes are communicated through our behavior rather than our words. So being able to read a person’s body language, if you want to understand a person well, is a good skill to have. Well it certainly beats judging people by their words and actions. Effort-wise anyway. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/48 "2014-05-05T02:53:57Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I suspect that some women were _taught_ to give dead fish, under the theory that to do otherwise would be too aggressive and manly. > > I’ve run into a couple men who give dead fish, but it seems much more common from women. As a woman, I rarely experience a man who will give me the \*opportunity \*to give a firm handshake. They tend to close their hand too soon, and turn our hands so mine is on top and they’ve got just my fingertips in their palm, like I’m a freaking Duchess expecting a hand kiss or something. Drives me bonkers. I know how to shake hands properly, dammit, so let me do it! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/49 "2014-05-05T03:07:32Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > They should grasp my penis for that. 😉 If you shake it more than twice, you’re playing with it. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/50 "2014-05-05T03:10:56Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > They should grasp my penis for that. 😉 I don’t let anyone do it for free. ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/51 "2014-05-05T03:38:38Z")
I never shake hands with dead fish. Fins either. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/52 "2014-05-05T18:18:19Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I shake very lightly because of an experience I had in elementary school. I was horsing around with my friend and I really didn’t think I was trying hard, but apparently he had to go the hospital later with a chipped tooth and chipped bone in his elbow. Similarly I shake hands lightly because once when I was younger I got a little too enthusiactic and broke a friends femur. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/53 "2014-05-05T20:22:07Z")
Don’t shake a zombie’s hand too firmly, lest it snaps off at the wrist. 😃 As to the topic on hand ( 😉 ), In my experience the limp handshake is the norm for some cultures. I’ve noticed that it’s very common with men from China (Hong Kong) and the Mid-East (UAE) to give relatively weak handshakes. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/54 "2014-05-05T23:12:01Z")
Women are the worst for weak, limp handshakes (sometimes barely even grasping your fingertips). I give a good handshake, man! No dead fish here! ---
**Author:** ![sich\_hinaufwinden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@sich\_hinaufwinden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sich_hinaufwinden)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/55 "2014-05-06T04:07:33Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Similarly I shake hands lightly because once when I was younger I got a little too enthusiactic and broke a friends femur. I know, right? One time as a dumb kid I was shaking hands with my buddy and I accidentally ripped his entire spine out through his mouth. And even though I was able to cram most of it back in there, he always walked with a bit of a limp after that and things were never really the same again between us. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_V](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/46a35a/32.png) [@Blue\_V](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_V)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/56 "2014-05-06T07:42:32Z")
A handshake with a “let me off asap” is equally confusing as a deadfish, esp when there are not many people to be introduced, uno being the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189/57 "2014-05-06T09:48:17Z")
I _hate_ shaking hands at all, I probably do give a “dead fish” handshake since I’m mostly concentrating on not yanking my hand away. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-dead-fish-handshakes-why/261189.md?page=2)