# Do you give (or receive) Valentines to (from) persons others than your sweetie? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2010, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902 "2010-02-13T22:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/1 "2010-02-13T22:43:59Z")
The question is mostly idle. A friend of mine asked me what I was giving my stepdaughter for Der Tag. When I replied “nothing,” she said, “But…but don’t you LOVE her?” I do, but I don’t give her, my nieces, or my sisters Valentines. I do make a practice of giving no-particular-occasion gifts at randomly chosen intervals. Anyway…what of the rest of you? ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/2 "2010-02-14T00:06:18Z")
Nope, we don’t do V-Day at all, not even for each other. Xmas and Halloween are the only holidays that rate cards. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/3 "2010-02-14T00:09:17Z")
We don’t do V-day either. My wife and kids like chocolate, though, so I usually go to the store the day after and buy some half-price candy for them. I’ve never actually give anybody a proper Valentine’s Day gift. My wife is not a romantic. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/4 "2010-02-14T00:18:19Z")
Sometimes, if the mood strikes. Out of the blue last year, one sister sent the rest of us chocolates. I didn’t do anything last year, but this year I was the one to send all the sibs candy. Mom sometimes gives us a small piece of jewelry, or candy. Some years, we do nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Sehmket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Sehmket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sehmket)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/5 "2010-02-14T00:19:01Z")
Yes; my grandmother and I exchange cards for most holidays. My husband, on the other hand, will not be getting anything. We don’t generally do anything for Valentine’s. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/6 "2010-02-14T00:21:09Z")
Yes. I gave Valentines to my Meals-on-Wheels clients. Sometimes they have no other contact with the outside world and I thought they might need a little extra something to make their day. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/7 "2010-02-14T00:31:24Z")
Heck, half the time my SO and I totally forget Valentine’s Day. 😛 I’ve never been in the habit to give Valentines’ Day cards to my kids, but sometimes in the past I bet I’ve gotten some candy gifts for them. When they were schoolkids they would often make a card for me. That’s about it. Birthdays and Christmas, those are card-giving occasions. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/8 "2010-02-14T00:41:55Z")
Yes. I like to send cards and give small gifts to dear friends on Valentines Day. ---
**Author:** ![Sine\_Nomine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sine_nomine/32/513_2.png) [@Sine\_Nomine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sine_Nomine)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/9 "2010-02-14T00:53:02Z")
No, we never celebrated it at home when I was a kid. I don’t think my parents gave each other gifts or cards. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I found out some families exchanged flowers and teddy bears and whatnot. The classmate I was talking with this about was aghast that my parents weren’t going to give me anything and I was completely confused by the fact that she was expecting a gift from hers. My oldest sister and her husband go out to dinner with their three kids on Valentine’s Day. Somehow, despite growing up with the same non-sappy parents I did, she used to ask me every year if I was celebrating with Mom and Dad (my parents and I were all living in Minnesota at the time, while she was in California). She’d make sad noises when I said we weren’t doing anything and make some remark about maybe “this year” was too hectic, as though doing nothing on Valentine’s Day was somehow out of character for us. I think she’s getting dotty. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/10 "2010-02-14T01:57:29Z")
Dad still buys me a box of chocolate every Valentine’s day, even if it means mailing it cross-country. It’s always a heart-shaped box filled with individually wrapped Reese’s cups. He’s been doing it since I was in elementary school, and - well, he’s the sentimental one in the family, and I’ve never been able to bring myself to even suggest he not do so. ---
**Author:** ![Kiros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/439d5e/32.png) [@Kiros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiros)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/11 "2010-02-14T02:03:44Z")
We don’t do Valentine’s Day at all. I have a moral objection to anything that celebrates either love or happiness. (Actually, I just don’t particularly want to encourage the flower and chocolate industries, and we do nice things for each other as often as possible. Even on birthdays and other holidays we’re more liable to do a nice night away somewhere instead of gifts.) ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/12 "2010-02-14T03:59:05Z")
I give my girls candy and a little gift like a candle or stuffed animal. I got my Mig a big heart full of candy but I’ll probably eat half of it. He won’t get me anything. He never does. It’s stupid of me but I wish he would. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/13 "2010-02-14T05:41:18Z")
My mom and I exchange cards, and usually she sends me something small. The bf thinks Valentine’s Day is silly. We have plans for tomorrow, but he says it’s to make up for not having much free time to spend with me the last couple weeks. That’s fine with me. It’s more romantic than having a date just because the calendar told you to. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/14 "2010-02-14T07:29:57Z")
I used to buy a little something for my niece when she was living with me. Now that she’s not living with me, I’m not going to go through the trouble of sending something. Also, she’s not lacking from attention so I doubt she’ll even notice. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/15 "2010-02-14T08:29:59Z")
I’ve been known to do random acts of appreciation for folks other than who I am dating, but anonymously. It never hurts to have a little surprise pick-me-up, but I’d hate for people to take it too seriously, so…‘secret pal’ stuff is nice. Especially if the person seems unlikely to be getting any action at the moment; a little lift like that can really make your day. I like giving that sort of lift. Been there often enough myself 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/16 "2010-02-14T08:50:56Z")
No, I’ve always figured Valentines are for sweeties, intended sweeties or aspired-to sweeties. 28 years ago my then-sweetie gave me one which sort of read “Dear Mal, why don’t you dump me and find someone who’ll have sex with you?”, and twenty years ago my _then_-sweetie sent me one purporting to be from an unknown admirer in the hope I’d chat up some women trying to find out who it was from, and smooth the path for her to dump me. It’s a funny world. ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/17 "2010-02-14T08:56:57Z")
I send my mom flowers because I know she loves receiving them and I don’t think my dad will remember to get her flowers. I also give to my daughter, husband and sisters something related to the holiday but it’s not a big deal or expected. Mostly I buy chocolate and treat myself. ---
**Author:** ![williambaskerville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@williambaskerville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williambaskerville)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/18 "2010-02-14T09:40:58Z")
My daughter is currently prancing around arranging her dozen red roses (she’s 9). It gets expensive:- obviously her mammy has to get something better. I’m hoping the champagne for breakfast and 2 dozen red roses will be a sufficent differentiator. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/19 "2010-02-14T11:31:52Z")
We send our daughters a bouquet from [Cookies by Design](http://www.cookiesbydesign.com/) and the five grandchildren age- and sex-appropriate valentines. Since we’re in Hungary now and they don’t really have Valentine’s Day cards _per se_, we printed from the Internet some valentine paper airplanes for the boys and a heart necklace thing for The Girl (we have The Boy, The Girl, The Twins and The Baby). And everyone gets a cookie from the bouquets, so it’s all good. My Sweetie and I will go to our favorite pastry shop in Buda (Daubner’s, in case you visit - don’t miss it!) and get our favorite pastry, the raspberry omelet (which has nothing to do with eggs, and it’s got pink cream and is to die for!). Happy Valentine’s Day, All! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902/20 "2010-02-14T12:36:57Z")
[geezer mode] When I was a kid, only kids exchanged valentines as far as I recall. My mom and dad never made a big deal about it. I don’t recall a bajillion guilt-inducing diamond commercials on TV. It was all about decorating a shoe box for a “mailbox” for class. And almost no one gave valentines to everyone because our classes were big (in the midst of the Baby Boomers) and valentines could be expensive if you had several kids in school. [/geezer mode] My husband and I never do Val Day. Our daughter took cards to class. I did a couple of Doper Valentine exchanges, but I don’t even bother with that any more. It’s just a non-issue to me. Plus I don’t like diamonds… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-give-or-receive-valentines-to-from-persons-others-than-your-sweetie/528902.md?page=2)