# Do You Go to Class Reunions? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 25, 2018, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464 "2018-01-25T18:03:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/61 "2018-01-27T00:14:43Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Not to say anybody should be going to reunions, as I skipped most of them…but maybe let go of the anger. For almost all of us, HS was a long time ago. Why are you still giving free lodging to teenage bullies in your head? Those people have changed, most likely, in the ensuing years…just as you have. Scars stay, including the emotional ones. And even if they’ve changed it doesn’t change the past; bullying is an unforgivable evil as far as I am concerned. If I lived for a thousand years I’d never stop hating them, and never feel bad about it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/62 "2018-01-27T00:21:48Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Scars stay, including the emotional ones. And even if they’ve changed it doesn’t change the past; bullying is an unforgivable evil as far as I am concerned. If I lived for a thousand years I’d never stop hating them, and never feel bad about it at all. Your life to live as you see fit. My guess is that these people who stll occupy major real estate in your head don’t even remember you. So, you have three choices: 1. Let it go and move on. 2. Revenge yourself, whether through the legal system or other means. 3. Continue to impotently relive humiliations from decades ago. Two of those may make you happier. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/63 "2018-01-27T00:27:20Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Your life to live as you see fit. My guess is that these people who stll occupy major real estate in your head don’t even remember you. So, you have three choices: > > 1. Let it go and move on. > 2. Revenge yourself, whether through the legal system or other means. > 3. Continue to impotently relive humiliations from decades ago. > > Two of those may make you happier. Yep. More or less #1, baby. Still no reason to ever see those people again, though, aside from a few friends. I really didn’t hang out with them much outside of school, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/64 "2018-01-27T00:32:19Z")
I completely agree that there is no reason to see those people again. We do not need to hold close and cherish decades old humiliations either. I became a lot happier once I decided that I would either pay back those who’d wronged me or just let it go. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/65 "2018-01-27T00:52:51Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I completely agree that there is no reason to see those people again. We do not need to hold close and cherish decades old humiliations either. I became a lot happier once I decided that I would either pay back those who’d wronged me or just let it go. Have you done the former or just the latter? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/66 "2018-01-27T00:53:47Z")
The best revenge is to just forget those people exist. Add them to the ranks of people who are unworthy of notice. That’s exactly what I’ve done to all the people who bothered me in school. I think. I mean I vaguely recall somebody once punched me, but I don’t recall if I ever knew who he was to start with, so does that count as really forgetting him since I certainly don’t know him now? And okay, actually the _best_ revenge is to capture the person, torture them within an inch of their life every even day, and execute one of their loved ones in front of them every odd day. But honestly who has the time? Plus if you do this sort of thing too often it annoys the cops. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/67 "2018-01-27T01:01:28Z")
No. I moved out of the state before the first one. Was not gonna travel across the country for it. Not for those idiots! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/68 "2018-01-27T01:09:07Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Have you done the former or just the latter? I have done both. Frankly, letting it go is more rewarding. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/69 "2018-01-27T16:37:08Z")
Nope. High school was four of the worst years of my life. The other kids treated me like I was some kind of pariah who was so worthless that even their scorn was too good for me. Fuck those people, I have no desire to see them again. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/70 "2018-01-27T16:39:43Z")
nope. never have, never will. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/71 "2018-01-28T04:35:40Z")
I go every 5 years. I greatly enjoyed my HS (grades 7-12, really), which was fairly small (fewer than 200 in my graduating class), and in many ways, it molded me far more than college did (other than professionally). I also still live near where I grew up, so it’s not a schlep at all - literally exactly the same schlep as I used to make every school day, except now I can drive there if I want to avoid a 75 minute haul by mass transit! Besides, especially starting with the 25th reunion, I am reminded of the quote from that “wear sunscreen” commencement piece from 20 years or so back: “the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.” ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/72 "2018-01-28T05:28:49Z")
I’ve been to the ones that we’ve had so far (10, 20th, 25, and 30th). I was actually on the committee for the 20th; I went to the initial planning meeting with the sole goal of making the reunion a relaxed, fun, non-status-conscious kind of event, because the 10th was in a boring hotel ballroom with boring catered food and a boring DJ, and it sucked. At the 20th, people actually had a good time because they could wear jeans, get up and mingle because there were no stupid assigned seats, and dance their asses off. I wasn’t on the committees for the 25th or 30th, and honestly, if I hadn’t been local, I probably wouldn’t have bothered going. The events were mostly pretty boring, and generally speaking, if I want to stay in touch with a person, I do. Most of the people I was actually friends with in high school have avoided the reunions like the plague. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/73 "2018-01-28T05:55:09Z")
I went to my 50th last year and attended most of the other every 5 year reunions. This might be my last one. I was pretty bored and left early. The conversations I no longer find interesting. We stopped having good after parties at the 25th. I knew a lot of people but mu core group was no more than about a dozen and they are mostly gone now or don’t attend. One of the things I did like most about the reunions was re connecting with some of the girls from high school. Nothing serious just dancing, flirting and talking and maybe a few kisses here and there. One girl I had a huge crush on never attended any of the reunions until the 40th. She was just as hot as ever. We hooked up for a nice evening of dancing but no numbers were exchanged. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/74 "2018-01-28T07:38:38Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > My 30-year class reunion is coming up. I have no desire to attend. I went to a rural K-12 school where I had next to nothing in common with anyone for 13 years. I used to joke that the most beautiful sight I ever saw was my home town in my rearview mirror. That’s not entirely true, and I do get sentimental about the old place once in a great while, but that doesn’t mean I want to sentence myself to two hours or more in the company of people I have seen almost nothing of in three decades. My mother (and grandmother, in spades, before she passed) seem to view this as some sort of moral failing. Oy, gevalt. > > How about you, oh Dopers? Do you go to your reunions? Why or why not? And if you don’t, are there folks who chide you about it? 🙂 I don’t. I think that someone may have tried to contact me once about 15 or 20 years ago about a reunion. I wasn’t interested. I don’t know, I had a pretty tight group of friends, but it never felt permanent to me. Graduated, moved on with my life, never looked back much except for the occasional passing curiosity traveling in the fast lane. I’m not even in touch with any of my old friends. That’s the past. I prefer living in the now, while looking to the soon to be. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/75 "2018-01-29T04:13:00Z")
The people who made my high school life were mostly upperclassmen, so they have their own reunions. As for the people who graduated with me, I’m impressed by some of them who became more interesting and more friendly over the years, and astonished to find some who were pretty good friends have turned into giant assholes over time. Our reunions have been mostly self-organized, they really haven’t cost much more than an average evening out. I’m now back in the same city which means travel isn’t a problem. So yeah, I take one evening every ten years to see what’s happened. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/76 "2018-01-29T17:39:24Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > The people who made my high school life were mostly upperclassmen, so they have their own reunions. As for the people who graduated with me, I’m impressed by some of them who became more interesting and more friendly over the years, and astonished to find some who were pretty good friends have turned into giant assholes over time. > > Our reunions have been mostly self-organized, they really haven’t cost much more than an average evening out. I’m now back in the same city which means travel isn’t a problem. So yeah, I take one evening every ten years to see what’s happened. I attended just the two reunions and, except for one fellow, all of my classmates were perfectly pleasant people to be around for an evening, whether I had liked them in HS or not. That one fellow? In High School he had been an obnoxious status-seeking social climber. Alas, as of 2010 anyway, he still was. One of my classmates, Ben, was and is among the nicest people I have ever known. Ben became quite wealthy by investing his family’s (moderate) fortune amassed in the grocery trade. I was chatting with Ben about nothing in particular when Mr. Status-seeking Social Climber literally shouldered his way between us and says in a big, loud I-want-everybody-to-hear-me-voice “Ben, you and I have to talk about the market!” Ben got kind of a strained look on his face. I said “Well, Dave, you haven’t changed. Thirty years later and you’re still a jack ass.” I walked away and, alas, didn’t get another chance to talk to Ben that night. Still, I graduated with 250-ish people. One out of that many being an asshole isn’t too bad. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/77 "2018-03-04T18:23:12Z")
There must be something about this site that attracts people who don’t like high school friends. 🙂 I don’t go to reunions either but I don’t dislike the people. Just not a fan of parties in general. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/78 "2018-03-04T19:00:32Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > My High School has never found me, so I don’t get invited to those. (I would never consider going in any event–terrible people) I do get notices for my College reunions. I haven’t gone yet. Probably never will. Ditto with my high school; last time I heard anything from them was probably 30 or so years ago as they used to mail things to my mother’s house. If they want me, they can find me – If you Google my name, the first 6 or 7 pages that come up are me. My university alumni association contacted me a few years back with a notice about a reunion and a ‘We’ve lost touch with you!’ note. I did contact them, and asked them if they’d checked with their HR lately, as I’ve been teaching at my alma mater for about 6 years ar that point. I severed ties with my graduate school university almost immediately after graduating and requested that they never contact me. They have not 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/79 "2018-03-04T20:15:15Z")
I have so far overcome the temptation to attend a college reunion. High school would have been interesting, to catch up on who made it big in the theater/movies/arts (not that any of such folk would dream of going to reunions) and who wound up hopeless addicts and/or serving long prison terms. Sadly :dubious:, no one ever organized a reunion of our high school class. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464/80 "2018-03-05T00:34:12Z")
I’ve been to my 5,10 and 20 year reunion. There was a sort of impromptu 25 year reunion (more of a “get together” in a bar) that I missed because a friend had box seats for an Islanders game. I generally enjoy myself, but to a certain extent the older I get, the more the “getting drunk and reminiscing about the old times” stuff gets old as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-go-to-class-reunions/807464.md?page=5)