# Do you have a beautiful penis? Is it a contest winner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876 "2003-06-27T23:08:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/1 "2003-06-27T23:08:25Z")
From this article about a man that entered a "Prettiest Penis " contest when he was in college. How the heck are you going to judge penile beauty? Will there be a talent contest? [The naked truth has Democrats concerned](http://www.njherald.com/news/newspro/viewnews.cgi?newsid1056633598,74386,) > [@](#): > > [sub]Sussex County Democratic Committee Chairman Charlie Cart spent much of Wednesday trying to correct any misconceptions about his feelings linked to the participation of Democratic state Senate candidate Jim Morrison in what Morrison dubs a “pretty penis contest.” > > News of criticism voiced between Cart and Morrison spread quickly after Cart suggested Morrison resign his candidacy due to the negative effects his participation in the contest could have on the party and Morrison himself. Cart said Wednesday he had nothing to do with the news becoming public, alleging that Morrison pushed for the release himself for political gain. > > “I think he’s looking to sensationalize the story and get some sympathy, which I don’t believe is deserved,” Cart said. Cart also stressed on Wednesday that he has no problem with Morrison being openly gay. His view on the subject was incorrectly reported in The Herald on Tuesday. Morrison has said the contest — which he likened to a wet T-shirt contest for men — is comparable to impractical college behavior by many and is not relevant to his campaign. Morrison said he participated in the contest when he was in law school at Columbia University. But Cart said he and other party members view the contest as more serious than Morrison’s classification. Reported incorrectly in Tuesday’s Herald, Cart never likened the contest to a wet T-shirt contest for men. > > “I don’t consider it just a college prank. He was in his mid-20s at the time. He was in law school at the time,” Cart said . “I don’t think he has the family values we look at here in the county.” Morrison could not be reached for comment on Wednesday. He is challenging state Sen. Robert Littell, R-Sussex, in the November state Senate race in the 24th District. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/2 "2003-06-27T23:31:03Z")
“Oh, I don’t know where you’ve been lad, but I see you’ve won first prize!” (Final line to a novelty song called, IIRC, The Scotsman, in which said kilt-wearing Scotsman takes a nap, and mischievous lasses tie a blue ribbon around his privates.) ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/3 "2003-06-28T00:40:49Z")
If you think penises ain’t gonna win any beauty contests, spare some pity for the poor vaginas. Fun packed though they are (for us hetro men and lesbians, at least), they can hardly be described as beautiful. Maybe kooky is a better word. btw, the ladies have compared my penis to Alan Rickman… seductive, sexy, tall, handsome, deep voice… OK enough. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/4 "2003-06-28T02:54:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > **If you think penises ain’t gonna win any beauty contests, spare some pity for the poor vaginas. Fun packed though they are (for us hetro men and lesbians, at least), they can hardly be described as beautiful. Maybe kooky is a better word.** Sez you. Not vaginas, per se, but _I_ find vulvas quite beautiful and quite unique per individual – at least as unique as faces are. Truly, they look like a fleshy flower. Phalluses, by comparison, come in a few standard varieties, size differences not withstanding. DD ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/5 "2003-06-28T03:34:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DesertDog \* > \*\*Sez you. Not vaginas, per se, but _I_ find vulvas quite beautiful and quite unique per individual – at least as unique as faces are. Truly, they look like a fleshy flower. Phalluses, by comparison, come in a few standard varieties, size differences not withstanding. > > DD \*\* The great thing is, even if you don’t think it’s beautiful - you have to say it, or you’re not getting any. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/6 "2003-06-28T03:38:16Z")
Hmm I’m not convinced… sure looking at a vagina will probably give me a boner, but that don’t necessarily mean that I appreciate the art and beauty in it. 🙂 \*erm, attached to a lady of course… and in the appropiate situation obviously! ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/7 "2003-06-28T04:32:09Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s hideous! That’s the best design they could come up with? Are you seriously telling me there were choices, and someone said “Ah, there, that’s it. That’s the shape we’re looking for: The last-chicken-in-the-shop look”? Shakespeare had one? Einstein? Perry Como sang `Memories are Made of This’ with one of those stashed in his slacks? – Kryten, Red Dwarf[.](http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/text/dna.txt) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/8 "2003-06-28T04:48:54Z")
If, by chance, you _do_ have a prize-winner, why not [photograph it in a little dress and e-mail it to a complete stranger](http://www.grayblog.co.uk/cockinafrock.html)? Come on! All the kids are doin’ it! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/9 "2003-06-28T05:46:18Z")
> [@](#): > > “Is this normal?” “What, taking Polaroids of it and showing them to your mates?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/10 "2003-06-28T08:15:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gotpasswords \* > \*\*“Oh, I don’t know where you’ve been lad, but I see you’ve won first prize!” > > (Final line to a novelty song called, IIRC, The Scotsman, in which said kilt-wearing Scotsman takes a nap, and mischievous lasses tie a blue ribbon around his privates.) \*\* **gotpasswords** , You do rembember correctly. The song is “The Scotsman,” by Bryan Bowers. It is a staple of the Dr. Demento show. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/11 "2003-06-28T11:14:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > **Hmm I’m not convinced… sure looking at a vagina will probably give me a boner, but that don’t necessarily mean that I appreciate the art and beauty in it. 🙂** And a penis is beautiful? C’mon, it looks like a derranged fleshy-beaked bird with a double chin! But I still am rather fond of 'em! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/12 "2003-06-28T12:01:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > \*\*btw, the ladies have compared my penis to Alan Rickman… seductive, sexy, tall, handsome, deep voice… OK enough. > > 😉 \*\* That just reminded me of the scene in Dogma, when he drops his trousers to reveal he aint got one cos he’s an angel… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/13 "2003-06-28T12:07:06Z")
I think politics is nothing, if not a pretty penis contest, anyway. So, do you vote for the guy who cops to it, or the one who denies it? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/14 "2003-06-28T12:31:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DesertDog \* > \*\*Sez you. Not vaginas, per se, but _I_ find vulvas quite beautiful and quite unique per individual – at least as unique as faces are. Truly, they look like a fleshy flower. Phalluses, by comparison, come in a few standard varieties, size differences not withstanding. > > DD \*\* I beg you to consider that your opinion is entirely due to your own…inclination. Because looking at it from the other side, I am dimly aware that cunts differ visually from one another, but it would be cocks that I know to be infinite it their varity and certainly as “unique as faces” 🙂 “What is ugly may be beautiful, what is pretty, never.” And I’d say penises fall into the ugly/beautiful catagory, so, no, I don’t get a “Pretty Penis” contest. But I also don’t get where participating in one has anything to do with your “family values” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/15 "2003-06-29T06:22:50Z")
Does anyone have a link (no sausage jokes, please) to a photo of the wiener? ---
**Author:** ![Eilsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c68b51/32.png) [@Eilsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eilsel)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-beautiful-penis-is-it-a-contest-winner/184876/16 "2003-06-29T16:04:28Z")
I just want to say…without having read anything but the title…that they all look pretty much the same to me. Either they’ve got a cap or a scarf and whenyou look in Playgirl for example, wtf? I mean, it’s either on the left or the right… REAL creativity problem with this specific organ when it comes (hee hee) to photo layouts. Besides, to mis-quote Elaine…“I don’t know how you guys live with those things”