# Do you have a character idea, but no desire to write about them? Let me put them in my book! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2011, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123 "2011-05-25T06:33:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/21 "2011-05-25T22:58:47Z")
(Just to clear up any misconceptions, I’m not asking for characters that are going to be central to the story. I’m talking about bit players. Customers at the bar, things like that. Characters that will have a brief description and a little dialogue but not much else.) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/22 "2011-05-25T23:05:34Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Let’s ignore Seppi for a moment. There’s this cow. A cow that theoretically could get preyed upon three times during the course of one book. Now, it can’t be from a lack of opportunity. Unless Seppi is very poor (and coming from a Swiss background surely he must have had at least one -if not two -banker grandfathers hording Nazi gold) he must own multiple cows. And Seppi can’t be an outlier, having the only dairy farm in Tucson, right? So this vampire must specifically be targetting this particular cow. > > Why? What’s her backstory? What makes this cow so appealing? Let’s flesh this character out a little bit. Well the biting three times isn’t how my characters are made into vampires, but I know the perfect location for this cow. She could live at the U of A Experimental Farm over on Roger between Campbell and Mountain… I _have_ always wondered why it was called “experimental”… what kinds of experiments are they doing? Maybe the experiments have made a cow that tastes like people! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/23 "2011-05-26T00:45:48Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Damien Knight is a rather prominent character in the “official” Shadowrun RPG universe. I know names aren’t exclusive, but just sayin’. 🙂 What!?! I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Shadowrun. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/24 "2011-05-26T01:56:58Z")
Seppi is an interesting character, **Arnold**. I think you should write your own story with him as a central character. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/25 "2011-05-26T02:24:57Z")
Carlos Avaceda. Born in Nicaragua in the early-mid 1970s. Family lost everything in the revolution, older brothers joined a contra gang and brought him along with them. He saw more than a kid should and learned to be a soldier at too young an age. Was granted refugee status in the U.S. in the first Bush administration. Unsuited for anything else, he joined the marines. Made it to Sargeant. Saw action in Fallujah. Now works with one of his Marine buddies doing construction/ contract work. Tired of violence, but quite capable of it should the need arise. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/26 "2011-05-26T03:28:53Z")
It’s not a specific character, but an idea concerning characters’ activities and how they relate to vampires/vampirism. **Arnold Winkelried** ’s Seppi has a passion and skill for woodwork, which, as Arnold noted, would come in handy for making stakes. **OpalCat** , how about giving one (or several) of your characters advanced skill or knowledge in a specific field, that they could apply in clever ways to ward off vampire attacks? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/27 "2011-05-26T03:37:20Z")
I really, really hope you could include this character in your book: a down and out aluminum siding installer who also happens to be the world’s most prolific science fiction short story writer. Old, dirty, lives in a one room apartment in New York City and his only companion is a parakeet named Will. He comes up with science fiction ideas constantly, and is constantly writing them out in the form of short stories on an old beat up typewriter. And this is the thing: he never tries to copywrite anything, he just keeps on sending out story after story to any bottom of the barrel dirty book publisher or whatever who uses his stories as filler between their featured dirty pictures. He has a small but devoted following, but nobody knows who he is; and he’s dirt poor, having never received a cent of royalties in his life. (BTW, his name is kind of funny, he calls himself Gilmore Stout.) ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/28 "2011-05-26T03:42:01Z")
As a matter of fact, I do! And you are free to them. I’ve been wanting for a while to have a character whose first name was Brand, but I couldn’t find anything to fit him into. I imagine him being a young man with long, copper-colored hair, who is very quiet but when his temper is sparked, is not to be fucked with. He’d probably make a good vampire. I also imagine him with a long, Scandinavian surname. There’s also Dr. John Forrester. He’s a botanist. He has severe social anxiety and is phobic of about everything under the sun, so he doesn’t go outside very much and prefers to stay inside talking to his plants, who are his best friends. He’s a tall guy, very nondescript looking, with perpetually ruffled clothing and hair, and taped-together glasses. He might be a college professor. I’m not sure how he could figure into this story. Seppi is definitely the best character in this thread, hands down. **Arnold Winklereid** , have you forayed into fiction writing yourself? You seem like you’d be a great comedy writer. In general I love the varying directions this thread has taken, including the people riffing off the Seppi post and having fun with it. EDIT: Sorry for ruining the joke, but just for reference, **Koxinga** ’s proposed character is Kilgore Trout, a recurring character in Kurt Vonnegut’s novels. I have the feeling his post may be a reference to the fact that he finds the book described in the OP derivative (which I have no opinion on), or a reference to the comment that you can’t copyright characters. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/29 "2011-05-26T03:46:33Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > I really, really hope you could include this character in your book: a down and out aluminum siding installer who also happens to be the world’s most prolific science fiction short story writer. Old, dirty, lives in a one room apartment in New York City and his only companion is a parakeet named Will. He comes up with science fiction ideas constantly, and is constantly writing them out in the form of short stories on an old beat up typewriter. And this is the thing: he never tries to copywrite anything, he just keeps on sending out story after story to any bottom of the barrel dirty book publisher or whatever who uses his stories as filler between their featured dirty pictures. He has a small but devoted following, but nobody knows who he is; and he’s dirt poor, having never received a cent of royalties in his life. (BTW, his name is kind of funny, he calls himself Gilmore Stout.) On rereading the OP, I see this is specifically set in Tucson. Hm. So much for New York – except maybe you could have Gilmore Stout hitchiking to Tucson to take part in an arts festival or something? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/30 "2011-05-26T03:56:31Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > EDIT: Sorry for ruining the joke You big meanie. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/31 "2011-05-26T04:28:33Z")
> [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](#): > > **OpalCat** , how about giving one (or several) of your characters advanced skill or knowledge in a specific field, that they could apply in clever ways to ward off vampire attacks? The book is told from the point of view of a vampire who doesn’t attack people, though… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/32 "2011-05-26T05:28:00Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > As a matter of fact, I do! And you are free to them… > Seppi is definitely the best character in this thread, hands down. **Arnold Winklereid** , have you forayed into fiction writing yourself?.. Sorry–gotta leave this thread to invent an app called “SeppiSearch”. It’s a Timed Amazon Algorithm. So I can automatically do a search every month for any books that might have been published with a character named Seppi. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/33 "2011-05-26T16:54:50Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Let’s ignore Seppi for a moment. Ignore Seppi?!? :mad: > [@](#): > > There’s this cow. A cow that theoretically could get preyed upon three times during the course of one book. Now, it can’t be from a lack of opportunity. Unless Seppi is very poor (and coming from a Swiss background surely he must have had at least one -if not two -banker grandfathers hording Nazi gold) he must own multiple cows. And Seppi can’t be an outlier, having the only dairy farm in Tucson, right? So this vampire must specifically be targetting this particular cow. > > Why? What’s her backstory? What makes this cow so appealing? Let’s flesh this character out a little bit. > [@OpalCat](#): > > Well the biting three times isn’t how my characters are made into vampires, but I know the perfect location for this cow. She could live at the U of A Experimental Farm over on Roger between Campbell and Mountain… I _have_ always wondered why it was called “experimental”… what kinds of experiments are they doing? Maybe the experiments have made a cow that tastes like people! :eek: Seppi is not rich, and has no banking grandfathers that hoarded Nazi gold. From him rising before dawn to milk cows in the barn, one might have assumed that he has his own dairy farm in Tucson. No! He has come to Tucson as a student, taking classes in Agricultural Science at U of A. The cows that he is visting are, of course, in the U of A Experimental Farm. What is special about this cow? Isn’t it obvious? Perhaps not to you, but to Seppi (with the help of his friend Jerome Jamarillo - see above), it will soon become horrifyingly clear. Seppi came to U of A because his closest childhood friend, and distant cousin, Norbert Brodard (also from the district of Gruyère, Fribourg, Switzerland) is a visiting professor there. Despite growing up on a farm, Norbert has become a famous biologist. Little does Seppi know what secrets lie behind Norbert’s unassuming façade! For one thing, Norbert is one of the last descendants of (in)famous researcher Victor Frankenstein, who, as we all know, was from [Geneva](http://www.gutenberg.org/files/84/84-h/84-h.htm#chap01), now part of Switzerland. As a young man, Norbert found in an old satchel in the attic, containing a series of papers describing V. Frankenstein’s experiments, and was fascinated by them. Secondly, Norbert Brodard’s father was very religious, and secretly a member of a right-wing offshoot of the [Opus Dei](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opus_Dei#Opus_Dei_in_popular_culture), who are sworn enemies to members of other faiths. Norbert has been raised to espouse his father’s beliefs. Thirdly: from birth, Norbert has been told of the death of his Swiss mercenary ancestor, for whom he was named, Norbert Bourgknecht, who died at the [Siege of Nice](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Nice) (1543), in which the Turkish attackers fled when local washerwoman Catherine Ségurane mooned the invading forces. Jean-Joseph was part of a tiny group of Swiss mercenaries sent by Holy Roman Emperor Charles V as advance forces to help defend the city against the Franco-Ottoman invaders, and he was killed by a Muslim soldier. This, and his intolerant Catholicism, gives rise in Norbert to a fanatical hatred of Islam. After becoming a rising star in bio-medical research at the Université de Lausanne, he comes to the USA for furthering his career, and is hired by a shadow branch of the CIA who knows of his medical talents, his discovery of the Frankenstein notes, and his hatred of Islam. He is placed at the U of A Experimental farm to ostensibly develop a more productive bread of dairy cows, but his true work is something quite different. The CIA’s nefarious plan: take recently diseased Al-Qaeda insurgents from Afghanistan or Iraq, freeze the bodies, and ship them to Tucson, where their Pashtun-speaking brains will be transplanted into animal bodies (specificaly cows)!!! Then the brains will be hooked up to a super-powerful ARM processor and a third-generation RFID device. The mutant animals will be released in the mountainous areas of Afghanistan, their brains will understand what the locals are saying to each other, the ARM processor will decode the signals, translate them to English, and store them in flash memory. Then a CIA spy will come with a recording device, take the stored messages being beamed out by the RFID chip, and send the data back to the CIA headquarters in Langley to be examined by intelligence officers. :eek: However, what the CIA does **not** know is that there are a small group of stripper vampires infesting the Tucson area. Dr. Norbert Brodard has a weakness - he loves exotic dancers, and one evening, in the arms of one of the beautiful performers, in his drunkenness he lets slip some of the details of his work. The stripper vampires immediately realize the potential. Experiments to turn animals into vampires have never worked, because non-human physiology and brain structure is too different. But could a cow-human hybrid be turned into a creature of the night? Perhaps! And if so, imagine the benefit! If one could transform a dairy cow into a vampire, instead of giving milk, the cow could produce gallons of blood a day - food enough for several vampires! Vampires who repugn the killing of humans could raise vampire cows! Little do the vampires realize that these cows will, unfortunately, no longer be content with their traditional diet - they will require a diet of blood. Seppi will be the first to realize the truth, but will he survive in the showdown against his childhood friend, the CIA, the Opus Dei, and the herd of vampire cows? ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/34 "2011-05-26T16:59:11Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > As you may have noticed from several threads I’ve started recently, I’m writing a book. It’s a vampire book from the point of view of a stripper. Yes, high literature, to be sure. Destined to be studied in college courses and analyzed by the greatest of minds. > > Anyway, I thought it might be kind of fun to gather some characters from other people. They can even be modified versions of yourself if you like. > > So if you’ve got any interest in having me write your character into my book, give me a synopsis. Name, job, personality quirks, anything distinctive. Accent/origin. They can be customers in the nightclub or they can be general friends or they can be bad guys. I need a few prostitutes as well, who are willing to donate blood to vampires (vampires are NOT “out” in my book). I also need some vampires, both good and evil, if you’re so inclined as to give a little backstory on one, feel free. > > The book is set in Tucson which has a tradition of really oddball street people as well, if you want to make up an eccentric type character who wanders around parts of town doing strange things. It would fit in perfectly with the setting of Tucson. See [http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group\_251024887940](http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_251024887940) for some examples of real life weirdos. > > Even if you’ve just got a great name that you’d like to see in a story, lay it on me as I am currently relying on the phone book and the character name generator because I hate coming up with names outside my circle of main characters. > > If you have a situation you’d like to see between your character and another character, feel free to summarize it and I’ll see if I can work it in. (Example: Billy Bob, who is on parole, gets into a bar fight over [blah blah argument/situation]) > > Disclaimer: by posting your character to this thread (or emailing me–see my profile) you are granting me non-exclusive permission to write the character into my book. Meaning if you want to write about them yourself in the future, that’s not a problem with me. I’ll let you read what I’ve written and let you have some input into changes if you think I’ve misrepresented them. > > Anyway, just thought it might be kind of a fun idea. I have full intentions of thanking the membership of the SDMB for their various help throughout this writing process, from things like this through the people who are critiquing as I write. If you really want to be credited by name, PM me your info and if your character makes it into the book, I’ll slap your name in the acknowledgments. I’m Dale, except I can be physically intimidating and will fight :mad: So, you already have my character. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/35 "2011-05-26T18:19:07Z")
Addendum to previous post: Some people might object, saying that the CIA would never come up with something so outlandish. To those people, I say: exploding cigars, anyone? But a little more background could be helpful. This plan had been hatching for a long time. The details were finalized in early 2009. It was shown to our new Commander-In-Chief who, upon hearing the proposal, immediately said “This is so crazy it just might work! I want top men to be in charge of this. Top. Men. You have _carte blanche_.” The anonymous CIA under-secretary who presented the dossier did not realize that his appointment, after being rescheduled several times, was eventually set for 2009-04-01, and President Obama assumed that this was another one of Hillary’s practical jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/36 "2011-05-27T10:16:28Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > None. You can’t copyright ideas. Not that this amateur, 10th grade level Sookie Stackhouse fanfic has any chance of making money…or being published…or being finished. > Still, if she’s going to try, she should at least use her own imagination and come up with her own ideas like real writers do instead of trying to get other people to do it for her. No need to be a jerk about it, Diogenes. Cut out the insults, please. Ellen ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/37 "2011-05-27T11:58:47Z")
Imagine a person, tall, lean and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan, … one giant intellect, with all the resources of science past and present . ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123/38 "2011-05-29T19:34:17Z")
I find this site very useful for generating names. [http://www.kleimo.com/random/name.cfm](http://www.kleimo.com/random/name.cfm) Sometimes the name implies a personality. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-character-idea-but-no-desire-to-write-about-them-let-me-put-them-in-my-book/583123.md?page=1)