# Do you have a sarcastic catchphrase? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494 "2002-04-08T14:57:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/21 "2002-04-09T01:21:37Z")
I’m versatile and adaptive. my wit is quick enough to come up with something more situation-appropriate. Still, most of the time it’s a variation on the theme of my committing some unspeakable act on somebody. I do use sarcasm though. Man, I use so much sarcasm that I imply that the things I say sarcastically are sarcastic. It’s very off-putting. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/22 "2002-04-09T01:31:21Z")
This is too much fun. ---
**Author:** ![grettle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@grettle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grettle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/23 "2002-04-09T01:36:22Z")
. . . except it’s not. —AND— . . . as opposed to. . . . that definitely sums 20% of the things i say. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/24 "2002-04-09T01:38:18Z")
Said after someone says something complicated and/or stupid: “Indeed.” ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/25 "2002-04-09T02:47:37Z")
My long-time favorite is “…and if my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.” This is said after statements like (while playing Scrabble) “Man, if it weren’t for these letters I’d be doing so much better!” Or “If the offense just played a little better, I know we would have won that bowl game!” ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/26 "2002-04-09T03:08:45Z")
_No._ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/27 "2002-04-09T04:07:22Z")
Mine are kinda short; “really”, said with a complete deadpan, or “bummer”, said when someone is talking about something horrible (not a personal tragedy, of course, cause that would be unkind). Actually, I say everything as outrageously as possible with a complete deadpan. People don’t always get me. Then it gets really funny. ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/28 "2002-04-09T05:06:39Z")
Heh, featherlou you sound justl ike me. Which puts me in a predicament, because now I don’t know whether to hate you or love you. . ---
**Author:** ![abel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@abel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abel)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/29 "2002-04-09T05:12:57Z")
Well, this isn’t one of mine, but I hear it so much I’ll include it anyway. Quite a few people I knew back in high school used to say “Your Mom” all the time. It got old REAL fast. Then one time my brother said it to me without thinking. The look on his face was the funniest thing I’d seen that year. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/30 "2002-04-09T05:13:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RaCha’ar \* > \*\*My usual is “Yes SIR, Captain Obvious!” complete with salute. Or Captain Random, depending upon the offense of the person being saluted. \*\* Mine is similiar - “Thanks for nothing, Captain Obvious!” is my common retort. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/31 "2002-04-09T05:24:10Z")
“Well, I would have gotten it done by now, but my clone isn’t back from the lab yet!” ---
**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/32 "2002-04-09T05:31:04Z")
I look thoughtful and say as authoritatively as I can, “That’s pretty true,” especially when something is mind-numbingly obvious. Teeming Million: Wow, he’s tall. Me: That’s pretty true. Teeming Million: Oh, my. You seem to have fallen down a thirty foot well. Me: That’s pretty true. ---
**Author:** ![Leonora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@Leonora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leonora)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/33 "2002-04-09T05:37:26Z")
I tend to use: “And your point being?” or to look at who ever might be with the offender and myself and say “obviously someone didn’t bother to share whatever he’s on today.” ---
**Author:** ![Zhen\_ka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zhen\_ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zhen_ka)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/34 "2002-04-09T06:26:28Z")
Got this one from a friend’s coworker, to be used when someone is complaining (usually about something pretty trivial): “Oh, just buck up and have a saltine!” ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/35 "2002-04-09T06:43:16Z")
Ummmm…yeah. ---
**Author:** ![dark\_knight256](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dark\_knight256](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dark_knight256)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/36 "2002-04-09T07:42:26Z")
My personal favorite is not my own, but from an episode of NYPD Blue. Some radical religious zealot had just run off some incredibly long quote from Hebrews or Isaiah, and finished by givng the book, chapter, and verse. Dennis Franz, with the deadpan look that only he can give, simply states, “Don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass,” looks at his watch and adds, “Sipowics, 10:46” What I usually say to people is: Don’t bother me with the incredibly obvious, when the merely obvious will do in your case. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/37 "2002-04-09T07:48:13Z")
When someone says something incredibly pretentious or unnecessarily complex in my prescence, ie: Windbag: Quantum transportation can occur when the neon atoms in the experiment show proper spin alignment with zero-point fluctuations. Me: Yeah, but how often does _that_ happen? ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/38 "2002-04-09T07:53:24Z")
I also use “…as opposed to…” sometimes. When someone says something very stupid, I glare at them with the most condescending look I can muster and say, “If it were legal, I would hunt you for sport.” ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/39 "2002-04-09T08:12:02Z")
When a friend is bitching about their life… “Sucks to be you.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494/40 "2002-04-09T10:14:16Z")
When someone says something really, really dumb, I sigh and say to nobody in particular: “300 million sperm, and THAT’S (punctuated by gesturing toward dumb person) the one that got through.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-sarcastic-catchphrase/102494.md?page=3)