# Do you have a will, and if you have minor children, have you decided their fate upon your death? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570 "2010-02-03T19:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/21 "2010-02-04T13:59:45Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > My brothers and my mother are my beneficiaries in all forms of life insurance, except for the one linked to my mortgage (the beneficiary in that one is the bank). Please don’t tell my you have credit life insurance. That is the biggest scam. The bank already has a lein on your house. You have no need to pay premiums on credit life insurance. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/22 "2010-02-04T14:02:08Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I have a child, and while we’ve discussed who will get her upon our death, we haven’t formally put it in writing. There’s really only one option at this point, though, and everyone who is related to us knows it. Just because everyone related to you knows your wishes, if you haven’t inked it and signed and had it witnessed, the court will decide where your child goes. They may take into consideration what your family says, or they may not. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/23 "2010-02-04T14:03:22Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#): > > The only thing I can’t get out of my wife is where she wants to be buried,she says it’s too morbid of a question. \ If she dies before you, then you will get to decide. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/24 "2010-02-04T17:09:26Z")
I’m 23, and my youngest brother is 14. My parents haven’t updated their will in probably 10 years, which is bad, since my grandmother - while lucid and very funny - is in no shape whatsoever to take care of my little brother should my parents both die. I actually am reminding my parents this weekend to change it. My mom mentioned not wanting me to “grow up fast”, but my relationship with my youngest brother is more of an aunt or mother type than sister because of our age difference and because I spent a lot of time in high school taking him to doctor and allergy shot appointments, and changed his diapers when he was a baby. ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/25 "2010-02-04T17:54:15Z")
Our child is living on her own, so no, not now. When she was with us, yes. Our will specified that should she be alive and both of us should die, she should be interred with us. 😃 Say what you like 'bout them ancient Egyptians, their rulers had a sense of style when it came to burials! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/26 "2010-02-04T17:59:46Z")
Divorced guy here. My daughter is 18, my son is 15. I have some fairly decent life insurance that goes to them when I croak. We joke about it now and then. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/27 "2010-02-04T19:11:49Z")
We just did this in the last two months (our kids are 5 and 3). Better late than never. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/28 "2010-02-04T21:02:49Z")
If my husband and I were to go out together, our children are adequately provided for. 1. We have 20 times our combined yearly income in life insurance, plus a smaller policy to pay off the house. 2. We have an iron-clad trust in place that lays out exactly who does what for our estate- executrix, guardianship of the children, etc, and how to go about it. 3. My brother’s life insurance and military pension also goes to my kids. I couldn’t imagine not having my specific wishes known. Yikes. :eek: PS- most important? The people named in the trust know what their jobs are already! Don’t surprise people with something like that! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/29 "2010-02-04T21:38:13Z")
> [@Moirai](#): > > PS- most important? The people named in the trust know what their jobs are already! Don’t surprise people with something like that! 😉 Damn straight. And make sure anyone who thinks they may be the guardians, or should be the guardians, gets told who the guardians actually are. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/30 "2010-02-04T21:51:08Z")
> [@Moirai](#): > > 1. We have 20 times our combined yearly income in life insurance, plus a smaller policy to pay off the house. Me thinks you have too much life insurance. 20x times your salary is what the salesman quotes. Life insurance is not supposed to be a lottery winning. ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/31 "2010-02-04T22:39:26Z")
Will, trust, POAs, guardianship, you name it. With back-ups for everybody named in the will. Our lawyer had us thinking about every possible scenario we could come up with. So what if you die and your partner is in a coma and the guardian doesn’t want to be a guardian and the trustee has Alzheimer’s… then who do you want to take care of the kid and pay for his upkeep? Gaaaaaaah! I’m happy we did it, but lordy that was a process! I think it might have something to do with the fact that we’re a lesbian couple, so our lawyer wanted to make sure we had every duck in a row to make sure that our son was cared for the way _we_ decide, not some fundy relative coming out of the woodwork. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/32 "2010-02-05T15:45:08Z")
Well, my husband and I don’t have kids right at the moment, but we’re planning on it. My brother and his wife also are trying to make a family at the time. The four of us have talked about it and we’ve all agreed that when we have kids, if something were to happen, the other couple would take the kids. (If something happened to my husband and me, my brother and his wife would take our kids and vice-versa.) ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/33 "2010-02-09T05:14:33Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > Me thinks you have too much life insurance. 20x times your salary is what the salesman quotes. Life insurance is not supposed to be a lottery winning. Actually it’s 20 years on each of us. It’s not too much. It’s our childrens futures, educations, lives… YMMV, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/34 "2010-02-09T05:35:55Z")
It’s every father’s dream to outlive his child. -Homer Simpson ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/35 "2010-02-09T07:31:53Z")
I don’t have a will because I have no children and not very much anybody would want; a few pieces of jewelry, some artwork, etc… but I would imagine my boyfriend (future husband whenever we get around to it) and my parents would figure all that out without too much trouble. None of my stuff is particularly valuable, except sentimentally. Honestly–and perhaps this is silly–one of my most prized possessions is my charm bracelet, and my mother already knows whom I want to “inherit” it if something happens to me. Do I need a will anyway? I can’t see why… ---
**Author:** ![Jump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@Jump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jump)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/36 "2010-02-09T15:27:53Z")
My parents have no will, but they own their own “small” business (small by number of employees. but it makes a mint) and between me and my siblings we have the ability and knowhow to get all their money and business into our hands before ther government get their taxing hands on it. Things such as pre-signed letters/letterheads and what not, if we were to put it into practice it would certainly be illegal from our perspective, but it’s really hard to feel bad about them dieing, and us getting everything they owned. (And they only set it up for this purpose) ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/37 "2010-02-09T15:29:57Z")
I may be being blase but I haven’t bothered with a will in the assumption that if I were to die my wife would get everything automatically. If we were both to die, then our respective families would have to decide who was to raise our daughter. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/38 "2010-02-09T15:41:25Z")
I found the thread title – “their fate” – curiously worded. I immediately thought, “They shall be buried alongside me in my pyramid!” ---
**Author:** ![Jump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@Jump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jump)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/39 "2010-02-09T15:52:02Z")
> [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](#): > > I may be being blase but I haven’t bothered with a will in the assumption that if I were to die my wife would get everything automatically. If we were both to die, then our respective families would have to decide who was to raise our daughter. I have an aunty and uncle who have personally told my mum that if anything where to happen to them then they’d love my mum and dad to take care of their young daughters. The grandmother however is a total bitch, and not only lives close, but babysits often (for convenience, since we live 2-3 hours away), so I think things could get ugly in court as the grandmother would DEFINITELY fight for them and with her history with them, she could fight for them. “Legal” isnt a dirty word. Don’t be afraid to make your intentions legal. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570/40 "2010-02-09T16:11:22Z")
I have grown children with kids of their own, and have a will that would divide assets in the event of both my wife and I meeting an untimely end. It’s the same thing the state would do, but without having to go through the misery of probate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-a-will-and-if-you-have-minor-children-have-you-decided-their-fate-upon-your-death/527570.md?page=3)