# Do you have Morning Wood?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 27, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705 "2000-09-27T04:35:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/1 "2000-09-27T04:35:02Z")
Seems like every other day I have it. It’s like I wake up and there’s this big…well I wont go into details. 😉
Do any of you guys get Morning Wood?
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### Author:  [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/2 "2000-09-27T04:41:31Z")
I have morning would.
“I would get up but I stayed up too late last night.”
“I would go finish my Latin, but he only collects the Eng to Latin and I already did that.”
“I would go to Chem recitation, but he didn’t assign bonus points, so why bother?”
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### Author:  [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/3 "2000-09-27T04:48:55Z")
Most nights, I go to sleep in a bed in a room and wake up the next morning in a tent. It’s handy on those chilly mornings.
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### Author:  [@Teach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teach)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/4 "2000-09-27T04:55:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silo \*
> \*\*Do any of you guys get Morning Wood? \*\*
I thought every healthy male did. Is there anybody out there who doesn’t?
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### Author:  [@Adriatic\_Ionian\_AEgean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adriatic_Ionian_AEgean)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/5 "2000-09-27T05:03:08Z")
Moring wood is no natural and common it’s one of the main determinants of whether a sexual disfunction is considered bilogical or psycological. If you have hard-ons when asleep, but not when confronted by sexual opportunity, the problem is considered to be in your head, conflicts, phobias, guilt feelings.
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### Author:  [@Adriatic\_Ionian\_AEgean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adriatic_Ionian_AEgean)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/6 "2000-09-27T05:05:37Z")
Morning wood is **SO** natural and common it’s one of the main determinants of whether a sexual dysfunction is considered biological or psychological. If you have hard-ons when asleep, but not when confronted by sexual opportunity, the problem is considered to be in your head, conflicts, phobias, guilt feelings.
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/7 "2000-09-27T07:19:40Z")
☹ No, sad to say, I don’t.
But, maybe after Mr Bear comes back from over there, I’ll get a chance to again. 😉
Sorry, Silo, couldn’t resist. 😛
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### Author:  [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/8 "2000-09-27T07:25:43Z")
Yes, I get morning wood. I also have to pee really badly in the mornings. Imagine my dilemma:
“Bend, dammit, bend!!!”
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### Author:  [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/9 "2000-09-27T07:37:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \*
> \*\*Yes, I get morning wood. I also have to pee really badly in the mornings. Imagine my dilemma:
>
> “Bend, dammit, bend!!!” \*\*
Hey, SPOOFE, anytime you need help relieving that little “stiffness” problem…
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### Author:  [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/10 "2000-09-27T07:38:15Z")
God bless large-bowled toilets and an intuitive understanding of trajectories… 🙂
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/11 "2000-09-27T07:47:14Z")
But that’s only because I chopped some kindling last night.
What? Oh, that? Just natures way to ensure good circulation.
Yeah, while splitting logs, any questions?
“I tried to call Lorena Bobbit, but she cut me off!”
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### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/12 "2000-09-27T07:50:29Z")
Slight Hijack
I just had to comment on the fortuitous arraignment of thread titles on the MPSIMS man page.
It was this one “ **Do you have Morning Wood?** ” followed by MagicalSilverKey’s thread entitled (wait for it) "\*\* Oh YES, it feels SO good!!! ohhhhhh \*\*, which is about a completely different subject altogether.
It struck me as being insanely funny.
Ahhh… simple things for simple folks I guess.
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### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/13 "2000-09-27T07:52:46Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by corvus \*
> \*\*Slight Hijack
>
> I just had to comment on the fortuitous arraignment of thread titles on the MPSIMS \*\* man \*\* page.
>
> \*\*
That should be main page. I need to get some sleep.
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### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/14 "2000-09-27T09:38:23Z")
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by corvus \*
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> That should be main page. I need to get some sleep.
> \*\*
And when you wake up…
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### Author:  [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/15 "2000-09-27T09:39:02Z")
I never get morning wood.
Mr 57 always says it’s not FOR me.
_rim shot_
Curses foiled again.
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### Author:  [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/16 "2000-09-27T09:51:37Z")
I have morning wood, mid-morning wood, afternoon wood, evening wood, night wood… sometimes this is a problem! My GF helps when she is able (damn I’m a lucky bastard!) but she is not able to assist me all the time (she has a job)…
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### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/17 "2000-09-27T09:57:34Z")
Woodn’t you like to know?
(Sorry)
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/18 "2000-09-27T10:08:20Z")
It happens.
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### Author:  [@Sn-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sn-man)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/19 "2000-09-27T12:33:50Z")
Every day. The sad part is the missus is not a morning person. ☹
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/20 "2000-09-27T12:57:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Do you have Morning Wood?
What? Right now?
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