# Do you have Morning Wood? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705 "2000-09-27T04:35:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/21 "2000-09-27T13:07:14Z")
Silo, I don’t believe you actually posted this. _walks off, laughing_ ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/22 "2000-09-27T13:09:29Z")
spoofe: you might try standing on your head… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/23 "2000-09-27T13:18:26Z")
No, Spoofe. You need to look at what [Uncle Coldy and Uncle Seale](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20597) have to say on the matter 😃 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/24 "2000-09-27T15:31:17Z")
" It’s handy on those chilly mornings." No way, I ain’t in your bed! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/25 "2000-09-27T16:12:26Z")
I almost never get “morning wood”, and to me that’s a very good thing. On those occassions when I’m cursed with the affliction, the simple act of peeing becomes part ballet and part acrobatics. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/26 "2000-09-27T18:33:49Z")
I notice I tend to get it more when my sleep has been interrupted- like the alarm clock goes off after 6.25 hrs in the sack. I’m usually not standin’ tall though when I sleep in till lunch. ---
**Author:** ![Stella\_Fantasia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@Stella\_Fantasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stella_Fantasia)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/27 "2000-09-27T18:41:22Z")
It’s not just for breakfast anymore! ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/28 "2000-09-27T20:10:32Z")
I remember reading a _Stuff_ or _Maxim_ article about morning wood. It has something to do with hormone production being cyclical, with a very high concentration of testosterone early in the morning; hence, morning wood. Sure does put a damper on my day trying to half-crawl, half-bend my body, half-hunch myself to get to the bathroom early in the morning before anyone else does. Then I have to stand on my tiptoes and implode my bladder to get anywhere. Damn hormones. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/29 "2000-09-27T23:17:53Z")
Don’t believe what you read in _Stuff_ or _Maxim_. Erections are controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system, not by hormones. Morning wood is just an example of nocurnal erections which occur between three and five times a night in normal adult males. **neuroman** : I’ve noticed the same thing. It may be do to the fact that nocturnal erections happen almost exclusively during REM sleep. REM is the deepest part of sleep and if you wake up on your own you are likely to wake up in a lighter part of your sleep cycle. When an alarm clock wakes you up it doesn’t care whether you are in REM sleep or not. Therefore you wake up in the condition that REM sleep left you in. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/30 "2000-09-27T23:31:58Z")
I read that the average man gets 40 erections per night. So, whats the big deal about one in the am? ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/31 "2000-09-28T00:58:23Z")
Morning wood? Ghods, _yes_ and while fun, it can be a nuisance. Especially when you need to piss. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/32 "2000-09-28T04:30:51Z")
Get it almost every morning. Great for mornings when you spend the nigtht with a woman. The night sex is drunk-sloppy poke her forever but not get off until an hour later. Then in the morning. Its cocked and ready. Over in 10 minutes and back to sleep. Repeat each 1-1/2 hour till you get up. I also get morning wood when I have to pee. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/33 "2000-09-28T05:21:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*" It’s handy > on those chilly mornings." > > No way, I ain’t in your bed! 🙂 \*\* Make that “useful on chilly mornings.” ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/34 "2000-09-28T05:22:52Z")
There aren’t any users here named useful, are there? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/35 "2000-09-28T15:34:31Z")
> [@](#): > > There aren’t any users here named useful, are there? Or _handful_ for that matter? I have to second Dr. Lao on this. At my age my hormones don’t surge through my body so much as they saunter, and I still experience this pleasurable phenomenon. Unfortunately my wife is also not a morning person. [sub]sigh[/sub] I am not implying anything! ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/36 "2000-09-28T15:46:23Z")
Been discussed before: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=11160](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=11160) ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/37 "2000-09-28T17:40:46Z")
Morning wood? Some days I wake up with Morning Granite. What self-respecting guy doesn’t wake up at full attention? OK, maybe Bob Dole. But whenever the topic has come up, I’ve never found any guy that doesn’t. Always seems to accompany the urge to piss, which is a challenge in itself. The need for contortions that would impress a yogi, unless you want to shoot yourself in the eye. At one point I seriously considered putting a urinal in the bathroom. Wouldn’t that be a big help? Unfortunately, Mrs. Wolf nixed the idea. ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/38 "2000-09-28T19:16:07Z")
When one obtains morning solidification, the best way to urinate is to take a few steps back from the bowl and aim as best as you can. Only one problem: If you’re one of those people that has a bathtub right infront of your pisser, you might as well try the sink. Its the perfect height too. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/39 "2000-09-28T20:15:46Z")
Morning wood is when I hit my head on the nightstand. ---
**Author:** ![Nukeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Nukeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nukeman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/40 "2000-09-28T20:21:13Z")
Astro boy needs Anti viagra! REM sleep is NOT the deepest part of sleep. Its the in between bit when you are dreaming, ie you are looking around in your dream. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705.md?page=3)