# Do you have Morning Wood? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705 "2000-09-27T04:35:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/41 "2000-09-29T00:36:19Z")
I have morning wood, but he leaves for work two hours before I wake up. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/42 "2000-09-29T00:43:03Z")
My girlfriend used to call it “morning glory” ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/43 "2000-09-29T03:39:22Z")
By the way, what do women get? “Morning hard nipples?” “Morning moisture?” “Menstruation?” Yet another reason why it’s better to be a guy. 😃 (Shields up, bracing self for impact…) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/44 "2000-09-29T03:51:56Z")
I thought it was caused by the Morning Wood Fairy… ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/45 "2000-09-29T04:41:08Z")
i don’t think i can shed any more light on the subject other than to add my name to the list. yeah, i get the wood. strangely, i’m not usually like, “in the mood” in the morning. just the wood. but i can share a funny incident from real life: a dear friend of my aunt’s recently went through surgery for prostate cancer. for those of you who don’t know, this procedure almost always causes impotency. joe was taking the whole thing rather well, considering. at one gathering of friends (i forget the occasion), another friend was saying that he had been under the wrong impression about the surgery. he had originally thought it was for cancer, but he now realized it was actually for arthritis, because joe’s wife had told him that after the procedure, joe no longer gets stiff in the mornings. ba da bing. funny guy. and joe laughed along with everyone. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/46 "2000-09-29T06:13:41Z")
Yes I get morning wood. Its one of the few things I can count on everyday. As the sun rises, so does the wood. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/47 "2000-09-29T06:56:18Z")
Considering that it’s always morning somewhere around this great big crazy world, then I would have to say yes, I often sport morning timber. I’m happy just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![Nukeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Nukeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nukeman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/48 "2000-09-29T08:07:15Z")
Its called morning glory in England - theres an Oasis song: ‘Whats the story morning glory?’ ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/49 "2000-09-29T13:35:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I thought it was caused by the Morning Wood Fairy… > \*\* Yes, Beavis and Butt-Head found this out years ago. but how did the Fairy know when I moved and to where? ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/50 "2000-09-30T18:22:50Z")
Here’s a question: If you wake up with morning wood, and you decide to “relieve” yourself of it, does that make you a lumberjack? ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/51 "2000-09-30T18:44:19Z")
[hijack]Corvus–you’re a guitarist?[/hijack] I used to have one of those–a Gibson Corvus, not morning wood. Those I still get. But I have a suspicious wife who thinks I was having dirty dreams about me and her friend in a cutthroat-pool version of a 3-way. Hmmm…tonight she may be right 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/52 "2000-09-30T18:54:03Z")
Wake up, stretch, grid matress, repeat, roll out of bed. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705/53 "2000-09-30T20:14:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > \*\*[hijack]Corvus–you’re a guitarist?[/hijack] > \*\* Actually I’m not. I’ve always wanted to be one mind you. It’s just that my musical abilities peaked with playing “hot cross buns” on a recorder (for those of you unfamiliar, a recorder is a combination between a flute and a whistle which, when played, produces a sound similar to, well, similar to Micheal Jackson’s voice actually (i.e. shrill and high pitched)) in grade 3. My name actually comes from the first half of the species name for the common crow, which is Corvus brachyrhynchos. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-morning-wood/34705.md?page=2)