# Do you have stupid friends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527 "2015-09-17T02:01:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/1 "2015-09-17T02:01:34Z")
I stumbled upon that thread here from 2006 labeled “How to Deal with Painfully Stupid Friend” which inspired me to make this one. Do you have friends that you consider stupid? If so, why are you friends with them? ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/2 "2015-09-17T02:15:50Z")
Because I’ve always believed that a true friend can make you feel good about yourself, no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/3 "2015-09-17T02:17:38Z")
I have a really stupid friend who doesn’t know who the 16th president of the U.S. was, can’t find Egypt on a map, and thinks imgur is pronounced “em grr.” That same _moron_ can kick my ass at chess, speak 3 languages fluently, and find x quicker than I can find my car keys. They make up for some of my shortcomings, and I make up for some of theirs. Friendship. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/4 "2015-09-17T02:23:50Z")
Some of them are Republicans, so “Yes.” ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/5 "2015-09-17T02:31:56Z")
I don’t consider any of my friends stupid. People incapable of holding an intelligent conversation about at least a couple subjects are not people I can spend much time around. Those subjects don’t have to be “intellectual” ones, just something of interest to themselves or maybe even others. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/6 "2015-09-17T02:40:46Z")
Why not? Intelligence is not a measure of worth. ---
**Author:** ![Archeonomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Archeonomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archeonomist)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/7 "2015-09-17T03:44:08Z")
Like everyone else, my friends are stupid sometimes but they all have something that’s worthwhile. Like their willingness to put up with me. They’re great people. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/8 "2015-09-17T04:12:34Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Why not? > > Intelligence is not a measure of worth. You beat me to it and said it very well. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/9 "2015-09-17T05:00:21Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > I have a really stupid friend who doesn’t know who the 16th president of the U.S. was, can’t find Egypt on a map, and thinks imgur is pronounced “em grr.” > > That same _moron_ can kick my ass at chess, speak 3 languages fluently, and find x quicker than I can find my car keys. > > They make up for some of my shortcomings, and I make up for some of theirs. Friendship. If that is what you consider really stupid I don’t know what to say, your standards are too high. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/10 "2015-09-17T10:12:07Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > I have a really stupid friend who doesn’t know who the 16th president of the U.S. was, can’t find Egypt on a map, and thinks imgur is pronounced “em grr.” > > That same _moron_ can kick my ass at chess, speak 3 languages fluently, and find x quicker than I can find my car keys. > > They make up for some of my shortcomings, and I make up for some of theirs. Friendship. If that’s your definition of “stupid,” then you’re greatly overestimating your own intelligence. Your “really stupid” friend needs better friends than you. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/11 "2015-09-17T13:46:58Z")
I can’t think of anyone that I hang out with regularly that is stupid. No one on my Christmas card list is stupid. I do have this one friend from high school that I don’t hang out with, but run in to from time to time, that I would consider to be stupid. But harmless. ---
**Author:** ![Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrogance_ex_machina/32/192_2.png) [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/12 "2015-09-17T13:47:50Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Why not? > > Intelligence is not a measure of worth. Pretty much all my interests require at least some intelligence to appreciate and I enjoy talking in a way that takes some effort to parse: using irony, cultural references, making cognitive leaps etc. If I need to dumb down my speech so that my “friend” can follow what I’m talking about I’m not having a good time and I’m not sure if said “friend” would like it either once s/he figures out I’m annoyed at his/her dumbness. I remember hanging out with some people who weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed when it was more or less mandatory, like in the army and in school way back before high school. I wasn’t an asshole about it but all those relationships were so weak they were instantly severed (from both sides) as soon as that mandatory closeness ended. I’m very lucky in that basically all my closer relatives are fairly smart as well, so right now the only stupid people I interact with with any regularity are some of my coworkers. I got nothing against them and I enjoy talking with them when I run into them but I don’t think I’d want to be stuck with them on a deserted island or an extended road trip or anything. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/13 "2015-09-17T13:54:58Z")
I was going to vote “I don’t have any friends” but that’s not \*entirely \*true and I’m assuming it’s meant to be a joke(?). The two people whom I call friend have very different lives / interests than I, but I would never consider them stupid. As others have said, we all bring something different to the table. I have had a few (short term) acquaintances that I considered somewhat stupid and many many coworkers that were about a sharp as a bag of feathers. Sadly there are a lot of stupid people in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/14 "2015-09-17T14:12:34Z")
I don’t consider any of my friends stupid. I was reading the other thread, and way more important to me than intelligence - what has that ever done for anyone? - is critical thinking. All of my friends display at least some level of critical thinking, enough for me to get along with. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/15 "2015-09-17T14:25:58Z")
> [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](#): > > Pretty much all my interests require at least some intelligence to appreciate and I enjoy talking in a way that takes some effort to parse: using irony, cultural references, making cognitive leaps etc. If I need to dumb down my speech so that my “friend” can follow what I’m talking about I’m not having a good time and I’m not sure if said “friend” would like it either once s/he figures out I’m annoyed at his/her dumbness. > > I remember hanging out with some people who weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed when it was more or less mandatory, like in the army and in school way back before high school. I wasn’t an asshole about it but all those relationships were so weak they were instantly severed (from both sides) as soon as that mandatory closeness ended. > > I’m very lucky in that basically all my closer relatives are fairly smart as well, so right now the only stupid people I interact with with any regularity are some of my coworkers. I got nothing against them and I enjoy talking with them when I run into them but I don’t think I’d want to be stuck with them on a deserted island or an extended road trip or anything. I enjoy communicating complex thoughts and ideas, irony, etc. too, but does every conversation really have to be challenging to be enjoyable? Does every friend have to enjoy your exclusive interests? I do have trouble communicating sometimes with people who have trouble following my natural conversation style, but if I’m the “smart one,” shouldn’t I be able to adjust and get through to them anyway? If I have to rephrase everything a million times and am constantly misunderstood, maybe we can be a different kind of friends. I’ve got a friend I see up at the park every few days and we never converse. His brain is probably smaller than an apricot because he is a Yorkshire Terrier, but we enjoy each other’s company very much. I’ve got a great friend who can’t read very well, do higher math, etc… Rode the short bus to school until he dropped out. I guess most “smart” people would consider him dumb, but he is actually a genius and can diagnose and repair mechanical problems with natural intuition and is designing an ultralight engine. He is also great at reading people and I know I can count on him to help me bury a body or whatever. We don’t have the same conversations I have with my Harvard PhD or surgeon friends, but he certainly isn’t less likable. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/16 "2015-09-17T14:27:54Z")
> [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](#): > > Pretty much all my interests require at least some intelligence to appreciate and I enjoy talking in a way that takes some effort to parse: using irony, cultural references, making cognitive leaps etc. If I need to dumb down my speech so that my “friend” can follow what I’m talking about I’m not having a good time and I’m not sure if said “friend” would like it either once s/he figures out I’m annoyed at his/her dumbness. \ This is how I feel, too. I can’t imagine having a friend (not an acquaintance) who I couldn’t have and enjoy a conversation with. I don’t enjoy conversations with dumb people. My friends are intelligent _and_ “nice”, so it’s not like I’m making a trade-off. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/17 "2015-09-17T14:29:56Z")
Some great answers that I could have replied “+1” to, but there are just too many to quote and say that. I don’t have many non-email friends these days since I have long been retired and rarely see old work-buddies, and have been forever being near old school chums. But in the spirit of others’ replies, I never let dumbness stop me from liking others. Still don’t! Even here! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/18 "2015-09-17T14:39:27Z")
I’ve got one friend that needs to grow up, and if they don’t grow up they’ll become stupid. But other than that, I only had a couple friends I considered stupid. We were only friends because of forced circumstances and as soon as that outside force disappeared the friendship dissolved. I can’t be friends with someone I can’t respect because they lack any critical thinking skills or desire to learn (which is my definition of “stupid”). ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/19 "2015-09-17T14:46:38Z")
I agree that intelligence is not a measure of worth, but most people make friends because of shared interests, not out of recognition of worth. While people of different intelligence levels may share some interests in common, it is more usual for long-term friends to be people who have multiple interests in common. Thus, generally speaking, friends are likely to be of roughly similar levels of intelligence - or at least, that’s been my experience. My friends tend to be as intelligent - or, but another way, as stupid - as me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/20 "2015-09-17T14:53:53Z")
If someone has Down Syndrome, they are likely to lack critical thinking ability. Does this mean that no matter how delightful their personality some of you couldn’t/wouldn’t be friends with them? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527.md?page=2)