# Do you have stupid friends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527 "2015-09-17T02:01:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gotlift](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9fc348/32.png) [@Gotlift](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotlift)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/41 "2015-09-17T17:52:48Z")
Stupid and ignorant are two completely different things. I don’t know many, if any, truly stupid people. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/42 "2015-09-17T18:05:54Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Do only smart people have the ability to do anything for you? > Are only your smartest friends going to give you a ride to chemo or show up at your house with a pie and listen to you? When you are wrongfully arrested, is it your smartest friend who will work tirelessly to get you out of jail? Who is most likely to help you build your deck/take care of your dog when you are in the hospital/come to your mother’s funeral? Only smart people? I think you are missing my point, and getting unnecessarily upset about it. It has nothing to do with “my smartest friends”. The issue is that, typically in my experience, I make friends with people I have stuff in common with. They tend, in general, to be people more or less similar in intelligence to me. I may be dumb as a thumb, for all you know. 😉 Point is, I’m unlikely to have much in common with folks who are either much smarter, or much dumber, than I am. It is true it doesn’t take smarts to do lots of nice things - but again, the analogy is with falling in love. In reality, a hot, clever, witty partner may be an asshole and the dumb, ugly and gauche one may have the best personality and the staunchest sense of morals in the world - but the fact remains that shallow types (like me 😉 ) are, for better or worse, unlikely to end up in a lovin’ relationship with someone who we think ugly, dumb and gauche - even though it may be the case that we’d be, in some ways, better off if we did, depending on the person. See, forming a relationship is a _process_. At the start comes a bunch of somewhat superficial stuff that initially attracts - for lovers, things like physical appearance and wit; for friends, it is helped immensely if there is a certain degree of equality and mutuality of interests. I think most would find it difficult to start a friendship with someone who isn’t more or less their equal in basic traits like intelligence, and who doesn’t have at least a few things in common with them. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/43 "2015-09-17T18:12:35Z")
All of the friends I have left are engineering and IT oriented so stupidity is not an option. That is NOT to say they don’t have some poorly researched ideas on life, the universe and everything. Not sure I could be friends with a stupid person, I’m too sarcastic and snarky for my own good. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/44 "2015-09-17T18:38:27Z")
I’m not the most patient person. I’m not the most empathic person. I prefer solitude over socializing. I’m not the most intelligent person in the world, but I’m very analytical and cerebral. For these reasons, I don’t think I would get along well with a stupid person. I could be friendly to a stupid person. But I could never feel close to one. If someone finds this difficult to understand…well, let me just say they don’t have to worry about me ever sending them a friend request. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/45 "2015-09-17T18:43:58Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’m not the most patient person. I’m not the most empathic person. I prefer solitude over socializing. I’m not the most intelligent person in the world, but I’m very analytical and cerebral. > > For these reasons, I don’t think I would get along well with a stupid person. > > I could be friendly to a stupid person. But I could never feel close to one. > > If someone finds this difficult to understand…well, let me just say they don’t have to worry about me ever sending them a friend request. Funniest post of the day! Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/46 "2015-09-17T18:47:30Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I think you are missing my point, and getting unnecessarily upset about it. > > It has nothing to do with “my smartest friends”. > > The issue is that, typically in my experience, I make friends with people I have stuff in common with. They tend, in general, to be people more or less similar in intelligence to me. > > I may be dumb as a thumb, for all you know. 😉 Point is, I’m unlikely to have much in common with folks who are either much smarter, or much dumber, than I am. > > It is true it doesn’t take smarts to do lots of nice things - but again, the analogy is with falling in love. In reality, a hot, clever, witty partner may be an asshole and the dumb, ugly and gauche one may have the best personality and the staunchest sense of morals in the world - but the fact remains that shallow types (like me 😉 ) are, for better or worse, unlikely to end up in a lovin’ relationship with someone who we think ugly, dumb and gauche - even though it may be the case that we’d be, in some ways, better off if we did, depending on the person. > > See, forming a relationship is a _process_. At the start comes a bunch of somewhat superficial stuff that initially attracts - for lovers, things like physical appearance and wit; for friends, it is helped immensely if there is a certain degree of equality and mutuality of interests. > > I think most would find it difficult to start a friendship with someone who isn’t more or less their equal in basic traits like intelligence, and who doesn’t have at least a few things in common with them. Why do you think I’m upset? It’s nothing to me if you choose to associate only with certain types of people. Obviously you don’t think you are stupid or by your logic, you’d only be friends with other stupid people so you’d have this oh-so-important thing in common. It’s weird that you think you have nothing in common with people of lesser intelligence, but if you are happy this way, I guess it works for you. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/47 "2015-09-17T18:54:48Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Why do you think I’m upset? Unnecessarily hurt tone. > [@](#): > > Obviously you don’t think you are stupid or by your logic, you’d only be friends with other stupid people so you’d have this oh-so-important thing in common. Example of the tone I’m talking about. > [@](#): > > It’s weird that you think you have nothing in common with people of lesser intelligence, but if you are happy this way, I guess it works for you. Way it works is this: if someone is much stupider (or for that matter, smarter) than someone else, they are unlikely to enjoy the same _range_ of activities, and so are unlikely to have _enough_ in common to form a friendship around. I’m neither happy nor unhappy about it. It simply ‘is’. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/48 "2015-09-17T19:06:40Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Unnecessarily hurt tone. > > Example of the tone I’m talking about. > > Way it works is this: if someone is much stupider (or for that matter, smarter) than someone else, they are unlikely to enjoy the same _range_ of activities, and so are unlikely to have _enough_ in common to form a friendship around. > > I’m neither happy nor unhappy about it. It simply ‘is’. Why would I be “hurt”? I enjoy a variety of activities, many of which require little intelligence of a conventional sort, like hiking or canoeing. If you prefer a “brain-in-a-jar” style of existence, that’s your business. It seems like you have a pretty limited set of interests, but have been fortunate or clever enough to locate similar folks, so good for you. ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/49 "2015-09-17T19:22:45Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > If that’s your definition of “stupid,” then you’re greatly overestimating your own intelligence. Your “really stupid” friend needs better friends than you. It wasn’t my intent to be a douche. What are some ways that I can un-Kanye myself? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/50 "2015-09-17T19:51:35Z")
Not at the moment. I’ve had friends in the past who were smart enough, but not very educated. I don’t think that made them stupid, just uninformed. I’ve always steered clear of people who are willfully stupid. That includes bigots, racists, and the like. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/51 "2015-09-17T22:00:48Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > … and thinks imgur is pronounced “em grr.” … OK, Mr. Smarty Pants … How is it pronounced? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/52 "2015-09-17T22:37:57Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > OK, Mr. Smarty Pants … How is it pronounced? Don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking “image-er”, as it seems to be mainly an image hosting site. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/53 "2015-09-18T01:55:40Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’m not the most patient person. I’m not the most empathic person. I prefer solitude over socializing. I’m not the most intelligent person in the world, but I’m very analytical and cerebral. > > For these reasons, I don’t think I would get along well with a stupid person. I’m like you, but I have grown more tolerant and understanding in recent years. And sociable. I am no longer in one of my INTP periods, where average or stupid people annoy me. I am (temporarily?) interested in what they think, and how they reached those retarded beliefs. The upside is that I have more friends. The downside is that I can’t shake this one woman who apparently ended up with me when she and her ex-husband divided their community property. Honey, 35 years ago I could ignore your stupidity by looking at your breasts. Today, though they are even larger, they cannot make up for your Tea Party convictions. Just shut the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/54 "2015-09-18T11:54:01Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > OK, Mr. Smarty Pants … How is it pronounced? em grr. I’m the friend. Not that it matters but I prefer _Ms_. Hyde ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/55 "2015-09-18T13:52:27Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > em grr. > I’m the friend. > Not that it matters but I prefer _Ms_. Hyde My apologies, \*Madaahm \*Smarty Panties 🙂 I’d noticed you’d self-identified as a woman in another thread, but I parse “brovolone” as a portmanteau of “bro” like “brother” and “provolone”. It makes me think of perhaps a Joisey Showah exaggerated Guido character. So there’s some cognitive disconnect rattling around in my head about your secret IRL identity. I’ll get it straight soon enough. FWIW, I haven’t used the imgur site, but “emm grr” is how I mentally pronounce it too. Seems an appropriate degree of satiric disrespect for yet another internet privacy invading fad. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/56 "2015-09-18T14:10:29Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > My apologies, \*Madaahm \*Smarty Panties 🙂 > > I’d noticed you’d self-identified as a woman in another thread, but I parse “brovolone” as a portmanteau of “bro” like “brother” and “provolone”. It makes me think of perhaps a Joisey Showah exaggerated Guido character. So there’s some cognitive disconnect rattling around in my head about your secret IRL identity. I’ll get it straight soon enough. same here, Broseph. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/57 "2015-09-19T04:58:56Z")
They’re not close friends, but they can be fun to hang out with. I’m also pretty liberal with my use of “friend,” however. It literally means someone I can enjoy hanging out with. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/58 "2015-09-19T22:24:45Z")
I consider all of my friends to be stupid—dumber than dirt. But, intelligence isn’t everything. I enjoy going to online message boards, for example, and giving my large brain a rest every once in a while. I like the SDMB I consider you all to be my friends. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/59 "2015-09-19T23:53:09Z")
Former girlfrieds and sex partners. Am leaving my wife out if the survey. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2015, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527/60 "2015-09-20T00:40:27Z")
I don’t have friends. If I did, they would probably be stupid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-stupid-friends/731527.md?page=4)