# Do you have to love yourself, before you can TRULY love someone else? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182 "2003-08-14T16:48:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LucysLogic101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@LucysLogic101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucysLogic101)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182/21 "2003-08-15T05:54:17Z")
personally, i find that loving someone else allows the you (generally speaking) to accept yourself and love yourself as well… this is just me ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182/22 "2003-08-15T13:09:30Z")
Very nice **scotti**! ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182/23 "2003-08-15T13:35:33Z")
I don’t believe self-love is necessarily a prerequisite, but self-hatred isn’t attractive, either. The problem with this excercise is, as others have pointed out, the definition of love. For example, I don’t think I LOVE myself, but I’d save myself from a burning building, so I don’t HATE myself, either. As **Scotticher** pointed out, you can learn to love yourself through having someone love you. Sometimes all it takes is admitting it… ---
**Author:** ![jellen92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@jellen92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellen92)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182/24 "2003-08-15T16:52:53Z")
I didn’t really “love” myself before I met my SO - but he makes me feel so wonderful I learned to love myself by loving him. He is so good to me, I actually feel worthy now (God, that sounds sort of lame)… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182/25 "2003-08-15T18:02:54Z")
Not lame **jellen92** I hope, since that is just how I felt when I had an SO. I can’t say I like myself, even though I should, but when an SO shows that you are indeed loveable then you can learn to love yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182/26 "2003-08-15T19:41:42Z")
I’ve had a song running through my head ever since I read this thread last night. Here is the lyric. [http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/c/clintblack850/somethingthatwedo40483.html](http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/c/clintblack850/somethingthatwedo40483.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-can-truly-love-someone-else/195182.md?page=1)