# Do you imagine the elements as having personalities? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 18, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214 "2005-09-18T14:04:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/21 "2005-09-20T06:50:07Z")
Plutonium – a big, dim-witted, slow-moving clod who nevertheless thinks he’s smarter than the other metals. Everyone laughs at him behind his back, but is afraid to do it in front of him. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/22 "2005-09-20T06:53:59Z")
Nickle is a dandy, who wastes his family’s fortune buying drinks for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/23 "2005-09-20T07:53:19Z")
**Nitrogen**. Very tall, somewhat colorless boy who mixes well but always feels ignored. **Helium**. Silver-colored comic superhero caricature. Usually found sticking to ceilings, saying heroic things in a squeaky voice. **Antimony.** That semi-goth girl you knew in college who was bright, into RPGs and mythology, but cultivated an unsettling beady-eyed stare and a withering bitchy personality as defense mechanisms. She briefly goes with Nitrogen, but it ends badly. Mostly for him. **Beryllium.** Chubby, bespectacled, sexually repressed Irish-Catholic girl with a sweet smile and unsettlingly large breasts. **Potassium.** Perpetually confused Eastern European guy with bed hair and a soccer jersey worn under a cheap gray suitcoat. Always has a finger in his ear. **Manganese.** Stocky, clubfooted, and round-shouldered. Peppy personality, but knows about three jokes which he tells incessantly. ---
**Author:** ![Conan\_the\_Librarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@Conan\_the\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Conan_the_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/24 "2005-09-20T12:30:09Z")
Lawrencium, a dark, mysterious middle-eastern nomad with a long sword riding a horse… Hasn’t been seen since the 1960’s ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/25 "2005-09-20T12:40:54Z")
Hee hee. These are great 😃 ---
**Author:** ![haephestus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@haephestus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haephestus)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/26 "2005-09-21T02:23:51Z")
I can’t resist it, the link is quite insistent: (Apologies though to theodore gray) [http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/index.html](http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/index.html) \*\*[Osmium (76)](http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Elements/076/index.s7.html) \*\* The dark, intense, quietly charismatic revolutionary, broad of face and body, whose earnest extremism inspires sympathy in any listener. \*\*[Thorium (90)](http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Elements/090/index.s7.html) \*\* Uranium’s wife, her thick, round body capable of producing similar force when irate, but generally her more mild and forgiving manner give her a much more stable social standing. \*\*[Strontium (38)](http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Elements/038/index.s7.html) \*\* The red faced drunk, whom, under certain influences, is prone to explosion and trouble making; under normal cirumstances, though, his large nose and rangy body display a relatively beniegn temperment. \*\*[Vanadium (23)](http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Elements/023/index.s7.html) \*\* The supple, yet strong gymmnast, whose slim form performs the most intricate and technical physical feets, though she displays but little effort. I love geek humor! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214/27 "2005-09-21T07:55:41Z")
I see Plutonium as more the G. Gordon Liddy type—dangerous and a bit crazy, but he gets the job done and when the s\*\*t starts to go down, you know you’d want to have him in your corner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-imagine-the-elements-as-having-personalities/322214.md?page=1)