# Do you keep your age a secret? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 13, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343 "2005-03-13T16:53:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/41 "2005-03-14T16:41:17Z")
I hear the gasped responses of, “Oh, you don’t look old enough to have kids that old!” when I tell people I have daughters who are 19 and almost 21. (I was 17 and 19 when I had them, plus apparently have the good genes not to look my age. And I stay out of the sun.) The other day, the HallGirls and I had a disagreement about how old I was–they knew and I didn’t. (I don’t think about it, honestly.) The disagreement was resolved when I got out the calculator and did some simple math. They were right. I’m 38. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/42 "2005-03-14T17:46:56Z")
I agree that hiding/lying about your age does seem to be an older generation thing. I’m 38, and I don’t care who knows it. Of course, I look damned good for my age, so that might help. 😃 As for asking other people their age, it’s such a non-issue to me that I probably have asked people who thought it was rude. Sorry; rudeness was not my intent. I just wanted to know how old you were, just like I want to know what people do for a living, where they’re from, what kinds of pets they have, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/43 "2005-03-14T17:57:10Z")
> [@Merhouse](#): > > I’m glad you don’t. I’ve spent way too much time variously deciding you’re 16 or 46 or 56 (or thereabouts), and I really have no clue why. > > Yes, I’m weird. No, I’m not stalking you. But I always do enjoy reading your posts 🙂 > > The Weird One[sup]TM[/sup] Thanks. I can understand the varying ages, but why multiples of 10 + 6? I notice when replying that you use superscript code for your trade mark symbol. You can do the same using alt+0153 (left alt, and num pad) ™ ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/44 "2005-03-14T18:17:06Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Thanks. I can understand the varying ages, but why multiples of 10 + 6? > I notice when replying that you use superscript code for your trade mark symbol. > > You can do the same using alt+0153 (left alt, and num pad) ™ Well, 16 because I didn’t think you were 18 or 14, so I figured 16 was a decent compromise. As for the others, I was really thinking 40’s or 50’s, and just decided to stick with 6’s 😉 Totally arbitrary, kinda like the 68 I once got on a history essay exam. The Professor really couldn’t explain why it was a 68 instead of a 67 or a 69. FTR, I’m a terrible student of history, thought the Professor was awesome, tried really hard to do well, and still got a D :smack: This could explain the degree in Business Administration rather than History 😉 Oh, and I really should learn the “alt” codes one of these days. Thanks for the info 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/45 "2005-03-14T23:56:12Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > I really don’t care about getting older, and don’t mind when I’m asked my age. I’m 5 years away from 30 and I’m not concerned. Well, when I was 5 years from 30, I wasn’t too concerned, either. Now that I’m on the wrong side of 30, I feel a little different about getting older. You may find that your attitudes change over time. > [@](#): > > Many cultures see older people as having wisdom and knowledge Many cultures do, yes. But I think we tend to value raw brainpower over accumulated knowledge. There are many fields–and they’re often high status, lucrative fields–in which knowledge becomes obsolete very quickly, but constant brainpower is a necessity. Being bright, creative, and not defined by any one intellectual approach to problems is often seen as characteristic of young people and highly atypical for older ones. I don’t know much about where you work, but I can tell you that younger grad students are often seen as smarter and as having more potential than older ones. That may be more true of the sciences than it is of the humanities. I haven’t gone out of my way to hide my age, but I’m not too keen on having to point out that I’m 31, either. I think I’d lose some respect from other grad students, profs whose opinion of me could really influence my career, and at least some of my students if I were up front about my age. (One of my students last year asked me how old I was. Stupidly, I was honest with him. His response was, “What? You’re 30 and you’re working on a _master’s_?!” The rest of the quarter was all downhill from there.) My mother knows how old I am, of course. But we don’t discuss it, mainly because she thinks I’m something of a failure. At the age of 31, I’m still in school (haven’t even finished my master’s yet) I’ve never made over US$17,000 in a single year, and I have neither husband nor children. If I were 25, say, and in the same position, that would be OK to her. But I’m 6 years older than that, so it’s not–at least, not as far as she’s concerned. I’ve learned never to bring up my birthday or my age to her or my other relatives (except my sisters–one of whom, 9 years younger than me, is earning more than I ever have or probably ever will. Now that she’s earning money, I’d bet that she’s going to start thinking of me as kind of a loser, too.) I suppose that, if your level of achievement is seen as appropriate to your age, then getting older won’t cause a lot of angst for you. If your level of achievement is pretty far below what was expected, you’ll have some problems with getting older. Even if you don’t have any self-esteem issues because of it, you’ll probably get some unpleasant remarks and judgements from other people. If that’s the case for you, you’ll probably want to keep your true age to yourself and look as young as possible. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/46 "2005-03-15T00:14:59Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > I don’t lie about my age, I freely acknowledge it in the real world and I usually get the “You don’t look \_\_\_\_\_!” response. However, I tend to avoid giving out my age online because I think people tend to dismiss people once they know their age. I have seen many instances of posters opinions being dismissed because another poster feels that they are too young or too old to have an opinion on the subject. I try not to base my opinions on other posters or their posts based on their age so I do not give out my age in the hope that others won’t do that to me. I’ve had exactly the same experience. I’m not embarassed about my age (most people guess me to be much younger and I don’t think it’s just flattery) but it does seem to prejudice people weirdly, especially online. I joined a discussion about finding purpose in life in GD a few months ago. And I was dismissed by a poster because I “wasn’t at the same stage in life” and I was like “dude, you’re only _four_ freakin’ years younger than me. Just wait til you hit 35…” ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/47 "2005-03-15T00:32:15Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > I suppose that, if your level of achievement is seen as appropriate to your age, then getting older won’t cause a lot of angst for you. If your level of achievement is pretty far below what was expected, you’ll have some problems with getting older. I think most of us feel, at least at times, that we wanted to accomplish more than we have by the time we got to the age where we are. I can tell you from firsthand experience, having a master’s degree and making more than $17K doesn’t make you immune to that. There’s a story about how Julius Caesar broke down and wept in front of a statue of Alexander the Great, because Alexander by age 30 had conquered most of the known world, and Caesar was 30 and hadn’t accomplished anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/48 "2005-03-15T00:33:14Z")
Anytime you’re an age that ends in 9, (except for 9 and 19), people seem to think that you’re fudging. But I really am 39. I really was born in 1965! Honest, I was! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/49 "2005-03-15T00:41:39Z")
**BobT** , you’re my baby sister’s age! She’s already planning a big hoorah for her 40th birthday in May… ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/50 "2005-03-15T00:52:04Z")
I have trouble remembering how old I am. It keeps _changing_ on me every year. So I’ve been looking forward to when I can just say that I am 29, and can use that part of my brain that I’ve been using to keep track of my age for something more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/51 "2005-03-15T01:09:05Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I n2ver M5tion my age. n2t 5ver. Gosh, 2,525 where is that oildest doper thread? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/52 "2005-03-15T01:17:15Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > I have trouble remembering how old I am. It keeps _changing_ on me every year. So I’ve been looking forward to when I can just say that I am 29, and can use that part of my brain that I’ve been using to keep track of my age for something more interesting. For me it’s easy. Before April 19 my age is the current year minus 1980. After April 19th it’s the same plus 1 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/53 "2005-03-15T02:10:16Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > \I suppose that, if your level of achievement is seen as appropriate to your age, then getting older won’t cause a lot of angst for you. If your level of achievement is pretty far below what was expected, you’ll have some problems with getting older. Even if you don’t have any self-esteem issues because of it, you’ll probably get some unpleasant remarks and judgements from other people. If that’s the case for you, you’ll probably want to keep your true age to yourself and look as young as possible. I’m an unemployed temp at 38, and I still don’t care about my age. There’s a heckuva lot more to me than what I do for a living. I don’t think anyone has ever commented negatively on my lack of career, etc. Are you sure you’re not projecting a little about how you feel about yourself onto other people around you, **Scribble**? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/54 "2005-03-15T05:05:22Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > For me it’s easy. Before April 19 my age is the current year minus 1980. > > After April 19th it’s the same plus 1 Mine’s even easier, in theory: After January 29, it’s the last two digits of the current year plus 25. Before that, same minus 1. This, of course, assumes I know what year it is now… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/55 "2005-03-15T06:46:15Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > The way I look at it, the older I get, the further I am from the stupidity, pain, and cluelessness of my teens and twenties. Fair enough. The worst and most traumatic parts of my life were over with by the time I was about 18, so I’m not terribly happy to be leaving my mid-20s. I’ve spent part of them catching up on the stuff I never got to really experience as a teen, simple things like just going places with friends and such. I know I don’t have all the answers, but other than being broke all the time I don’t have much in the way of pain, and I certainly don’t think I’m clueless. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/56 "2005-03-15T08:43:43Z")
For a while after high school, I didn’t really think about my age, and had to calculate it if I was asked. Now though, with several friends getting married and having kids, I’m suddenly conscious of turning 29 (no, really) in a couple of days. One friend of mine won’t admit how old he is, I think because he’s a little embarrased about being a Slacker Supremo. Of course, he won’t admit this either. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/57 "2005-03-15T08:59:52Z")
I was constantly mistaken for a 12 year old when I was 18, so I became really defensive about my age. Now that I am 23, my looks are finally catching up to my age. Now most people think I am 18-20 when they see me. You can ask me my age, my weight, how much money I make, basically anything you’d like! ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/58 "2005-03-15T09:57:58Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I don’t think anyone has ever commented negatively on my lack of career, etc. Are you sure you’re not projecting a little about how you feel about yourself onto other people around you, **Scribble**? Well, we might be surrounded by very different people, too. My mom has made no bones about how she feels about my career path (or lack thereof, as far as she’s concerned.) In fact, she’s gone so far as to tell me that she doesn’t want to discuss my career or personal life, because even thinking about either of those topics frustrates her immensely. No-one’s come right out and said to my face that they think I’m too old to have much potential as a scientist. But I’ve certainly heard some nasty remarks about people’s ages and their supposed lack of achievement. I assume that those remarks would apply to me just as easily as they do to anyone else over 30 and far from a PhD. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/59 "2005-03-15T10:03:54Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > For me it’s easy. Before April 19 my age is the current year minus 1980. > > After April 19th it’s the same plus 1 Oh! You’re birthday is one day before mine! I’m not going to be a teenager any more! _Sob_ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343/60 "2005-03-15T15:23:28Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > Well, we might be surrounded by very different people, too. > > My mom has made no bones about how she feels about my career path (or lack thereof, as far as she’s concerned.) In fact, she’s gone so far as to tell me that she doesn’t want to discuss my career or personal life, because even thinking about either of those topics frustrates her immensely. > > No-one’s come right out and said to my face that they think I’m too old to have much potential as a scientist. But I’ve certainly heard some nasty remarks about people’s ages and their supposed lack of achievement. I assume that those remarks would apply to me just as easily as they do to anyone else over 30 and far from a PhD. Fair enough. You don’t actually have to buy into their silliness, though, do you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-keep-your-age-a-secret/294343.md?page=4)