# Do you kiss and cuddle your SO in spite of them being sick? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 5, 2019, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290 "2019-10-05T00:19:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/21 "2019-10-06T22:28:59Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > We take care of each other but I would never let her kiss or cuddle me if I’m very obviously ill and contagious, and she wouldn’t either. > And I have never dated anyone that would. > > Sent from my Redmi 5A using Tapatalk What if she didn’t mind and believed that the cost of getting sick wasn’t enough to stop being affectionate? I can see why one wouldn’t want to be the one to do it to another because they don’t want to get sick, but I don’t understand why quite a few when sick wouldn’t let the other show them affection even if they didn’t mind getting sick in doing so. Some people actually love kissing and cuddling a sick partner in spite of the risk, so I don’t know why one would stop them (unless it was because they just wanted to be left alone in general). By the looks of it, by the way, seems like 50/50 - and that’s what I’ve picked up on. Some are diehard, “Let’s get sick together!” An equal amount of others are, “Quarantine!” But there are also quite a few who are like, “I want to kiss you even though you’re sick! But no, I’m not letting you kiss me when I’m sick!” Almost like a cat and mouse game. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/22 "2019-10-07T01:59:21Z")
We share a bed, for heaven’t sake. Kissing/cuddling isn’t going to make a difference, and is of great mutual comfort during illness. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/23 "2019-10-07T14:46:49Z")
Yes, but I cheat by having an ironclad immune system. I haven’t been sick since the 90s so any germs won’t affect me. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/24 "2019-10-07T15:03:07Z")
> [@MacSpon](#): > > We share a bed, for heaven’t sake. This is what the spare bedroom is for. ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/25 "2019-10-07T16:29:13Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > This is what the spare bedroom is for. Yep! We have two daughters, 4 years and 1 year old. If either of us gets sick, we separate into different bedrooms. Yes, the odds are we’ll infect each other anyway just based on day-to-day interactions of running a home and family but we do what we can to minimize it. About 6 weeks ago our oldest daughter caught a stomach bug and was vomiting pretty much all the time for 12 hours. It started late at night and we felt horrible and brought her into bed with us to comfort her. By the next morning I was throwing up continuously from the same. My wife started later that day. Our youngest got it the day after. Having both parents unable to do anything other than puke and groan about how life is awful, with 2 young girls who needed care, was one of the single worst experiences ever. If we did not have support from my mother I do not know how we would have got through those 48-72 hours. So before that we always had separated into separate rooms at the first sign of a cold or flu or other contagious sickness. This just reinforced it that we need to continue to do so. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/26 "2019-10-07T16:54:09Z")
Yeah, I think when there are children involved, it becomes more critical for at least one parent to stay healthy. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/27 "2019-10-07T17:06:56Z")
> [@R3d\_Anonymous](#): > > Yeah, I think when there are children involved, it becomes more critical for at least one parent to stay healthy. Can you come up with scenarios where it’s better for two people to be sick, rather than one? ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/28 "2019-10-07T17:36:29Z")
I’m assuming we’re talking about things like colds. Obviously we’d do more for more serious illnesses. We try not to get too close, but I can’t imagine it makes any difference. You’re generally contagious for a full day before showing symptoms, so the exposure has likely already happened. We have two small children who aren’t up to adult standards of hygiene like “cover your mouth when you cough” or “don’t wipe your snot all over everything you touch”. And they are of course the source of most illnesses in our house, since they get up close and personal with a bunch of preschoolers on the regular. We tended to keep our distance more when it was just the two of us. When there was any chance at all that it would accomplish something. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/29 "2019-10-07T17:48:09Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Can you come up with scenarios where it’s better for two people to be sick, rather than one? Well the second person getting sick isn’t really a problem if there aren’t children. So in that case, if he or she doesn’t mind the cost or risk of personally getting sick, that’s all that matters in choosing whether to be affectionate with the sick SO. Whereas with kids, it’s not just about personal preference, but that their care will be compromised. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/30 "2019-10-07T17:58:33Z")
> [@R3d\_Anonymous](#): > > Well the second person getting sick isn’t really a problem if there aren’t children. This makes no sense. The second person getting sick is always a problem. Who is doing the cooking, the shopping, the laundry? Who is going to work and getting paid? Snuggles are nice, but not at that cost. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/31 "2019-10-07T18:23:41Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > This makes no sense. The second person getting sick is always a problem. Who is doing the cooking, the shopping, the laundry? Who is going to work and getting paid? Snuggles are nice, but not at that cost. Oh okay, I meant with the assumption that the other person is able to maintain those things. For some, a cold or a moderate fever doesn’t do much to stop the from doing those things. I mean how do you manage when you’re single and sick? You still get shit done because you have to… It depends on the situation overall: salaried or not, risk aversion of the second person, ability to continue doing stuff while sick, severity of the illness, etc. Ultimately it’s a personal and subjective choice as far as what the person and couple as a whole can and is willing to manage. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/32 "2019-10-07T18:49:28Z")
My last boyfriend,like I, very rarely got more than a mild cold. It never stopped either of us, though I generally prefer to be left alone.The only time I might reconsider that is the time we were on a trip and he was feeling really poorly. He wasn’t really up for much sex but we certainly slept skin to skin every night. By the time we got home several days later it turned out he had shingles :eek: I don’t know how I escaped that one. But, yeah, had I known that’s what he had I think I might have asked for a rollaway cot or something. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/33 "2019-10-07T23:34:16Z")
Depends on whether or not I’ve already had it. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/34 "2019-10-08T04:21:42Z")
In the morning greeting or send-off kiss, it’s a usually peck on the lips. If one of us is sick, we do a cheek to cheek kiss. No lip contact. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290/35 "2019-10-08T18:59:35Z")
No and no but I should say not anymore. A couple decades back we spent most of a winter and spring sharing illnesses and both decided that enough was enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-and-cuddle-your-so-in-spite-of-them-being-sick/841290.md?page=1)