# Do you kiss on your first date? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407 "2013-01-07T22:39:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/21 "2013-01-08T02:07:51Z")
Diosa, do you get the impression that your friend doesn’t generally \*want \*to kiss on the first date, or that she’s playing some Rules type game? ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/22 "2013-01-08T02:18:29Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > All right, who said kissing is for losers? My guess is **AClockworkMelon** , who apparently goes straight for getting blown. Me, first date I get a smooch or no second date! I’m not waiting around! Which is easy for me to say because I’m married and I can have all the kisses I want but no extracurricular dates. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/23 "2013-01-08T02:19:56Z")
Depends on whether or not she is my shipoopi. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/24 "2013-01-08T02:32:06Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > A friend is insisting that I’m crazy to think it’s perfectly normal to kiss someone goodbye at the end of a good first date. If a chick will not kiss me on that first date, I deem it an unsuccessful first date and move on the greener pastures. Just saying… ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/25 "2013-01-08T02:34:56Z")
I don’t really think that I could have a rule for: ‘to kiss or not on a good first date.’ If I felt like it, I would. My boyfriend and I did a lot of kissing before we had sex for the first time. Nowadays when we have crazy naughty sex we sometimes realize afterwards that we didn’t even kiss during it! It’s pretty hot! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/26 "2013-01-08T02:46:13Z")
I’m willing for a quick kiss at the end of a date that wasn’t horrible, but I do generally let the man make the first move. My last coffee date lasted 2 hours and he never even moved to shake my hand but did ask me to hang out at his place and watch a movie later in the week. Now, another question. I am the only person who asks for ID on a first date that I met through a dating website? one or two have been a bit surprised but complied, others seemed to think it perfetly normal. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/27 "2013-01-08T02:47:37Z")
I hope that a first date will go well enough for at least a quick kiss at the end of the date, but I don’t expect it (and am not emotionally crushed if it doesn’t happen; some women are a bit reserved about physical intimacy with so little bonding and I understand that). If the 2nd date has no kissing, there won’t be a 3rd date. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/28 "2013-01-08T02:53:22Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > My last first date ended with a quick hug. Tomorrow is our two year anniversary. My other first dates ended in kisses or sex or just a goodbye. It really depends. Pretty much this. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/29 "2013-01-08T02:54:59Z")
Diosa, To answer your question, no, I do not have any interest in kissing on a first date. Like Rhubarbarin, I take a long time to warm up to people. A question of mine: Is there a reason for you to care whether it’s normal? Let’s say we establish that most people do kiss\* on the first date, should people who don’t right now start doing it? Let’s say that most people don’t kiss on the first date, should people who do right now not do it? - I presume you mean on the lips. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/30 "2013-01-08T03:00:34Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > A question of mine: > Is there a reason for you to care whether it’s normal? I don’t intend to change how I do things, but I’m just curious where most folks land. That’s all. Like I said in post 3, there’s no moral overtone here, just genuine curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/31 "2013-01-08T03:21:59Z")
In practice, no, although I have no opposition to the idea. But, honestly, I feel that’s usually the case for guys. It’s the woman’s comfort that seems to dictate whether a kiss is acceptable. The guy, if he knows how, just does a few things to check and see if she is ready. I haven’t really been on more than a couple traditional dates, though. We always just sorta hung out and then said we were dating. My information is more from talking to or overhearing others. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/32 "2013-01-08T03:30:03Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever kissed on a first date… not even on the best first date of my life, with my husband. On the other hand, we totally bonked fuzzies on the third date. You could say the second date was transitional. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/33 "2013-01-08T03:49:12Z")
I thought the first date kiss was the way to tell if there was going to be a second date. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/34 "2013-01-08T04:06:19Z")
Kissing is nothing. I don’t particularly want to kiss anyone, like I don’t particularly want to shake anyone’s hand, but I WILL. Who cares. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/35 "2013-01-08T04:16:45Z")
Just so long as there’s no forced hand shaking. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/36 "2013-01-08T04:53:18Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Just so long as there’s no forced hand shaking. Slow down, rape month is still 3 weeks away. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/37 "2013-01-08T05:08:27Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > I don’t really think that I could have a rule for: ‘to kiss or not on a good first date.’ If I felt like it, I would. My boyfriend and I did a lot of kissing before we had sex for the first time. Nowadays when we have crazy naughty sex we sometimes realize afterwards that we didn’t even kiss during it! It’s pretty hot! 😃 You can say that again - fancy a change of scenery? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/38 "2013-01-08T05:09:09Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Slow down, rape month is still 3 weeks away. There’s an official rape month!?! That’s just not right. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/39 "2013-01-08T05:21:40Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Just so long as there’s no forced hand shaking. I feel guilty though because sometimes I fantasize about a man forcing me to shake his hand. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407/40 "2013-01-08T05:23:56Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > I would say it’s not “shocking” to kiss or NOT kiss on the first date. My WAG is that more first dates end without a kiss than do, but not by a huge amount. > > My feeling is that a first date is the first time you evaluate whether you feel a potential spark with the other. Seems like at the end, there are 3 general possibilities: definitely no spark, maybe a potential spark, and feeling a spark. If you end up on the more optimistic end of the maybe or the yes, why not kiss? I agree completely with this. I’d say more often than not I do not kiss on the first date, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-kiss-on-your-first-date/646407.md?page=3)