# Do you know phrases that sound dirty but have no dirty words ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 19, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936 "2000-05-19T02:16:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![My\_Sister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@My\_Sister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Sister)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/1 "2000-05-19T02:16:47Z")
I remember these from TV monologues, but I’ve forgotten all the other I’ve known. Can you help me out? I’ve got an office party this weekend and this stuff kills the boss. (She always can top 3 or 4 employees taking her on at once.) He wants to help wax her old Subaru. Shaking hands with Mr. Lincoln Has a Shower Massage with 5 speeds forward and 2 reverse Knows where to apply those self-licking stamps He always has a double roll of quarters on him The UPS guy always wears his doorbell-ringing shorts . . . ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/2 "2000-05-19T02:45:07Z")
She has a \*way \* with guacamole. Her bedroom phone has a built-in hot pad. My hobby is lifting weights, with no hands. My girl thinks “bunny slippers” is an active verb. His wife caught him at the laundomat with his girfriend, washing her delicates. ---
**Author:** ![concrete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@concrete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/concrete)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/3 "2000-05-19T03:01:25Z")
typical country weather ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/4 "2000-05-19T03:06:23Z")
I don’t have a phrase, but I once got chewed out by my wood shop teacher for calling a fellow freshman a ‘bunghole.’ I tried to tell him. It’s not dirty! It just sounds that way! Look it up! ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/5 "2000-05-19T03:09:03Z")
Actually, just add the phrase “If you know what I mean” to anything and it sounds dirty. For example–The nuns have gone to help the orphans, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/6 "2000-05-19T04:19:38Z")
I once called somebody a non-dirty insult and they took it as dirty. I called the guy a “pantywaist,” meaning a wimp. He thought I was calling him “panty waste,” like some sort of waste prodcut that you might find in a pair of panties. Yecch! Hey, ThisYearsGirl, I’m gonna try the phrase you suggested if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Geenius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Geenius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geenius)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/7 "2000-05-19T04:32:48Z")
OK, sick tangent … One day I came home, and my wife, who had been feeling pretty frisky the last couple of days, gave me a pained look and said, “Guess what I started today.” I replied, “The great American novel?” So now our euphemism for menstruation is “working on the novel.” ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/8 "2000-05-19T04:40:30Z")
Rack the balls. Nice rack. Hit it hard. I’m going for that pocket. You’re gonna scratch. I’m gonna jump it. Oops, double kissed it. But you got it in! Nah, it was slop. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/9 "2000-05-19T04:43:44Z")
Whoops, sorry, just got back from shaking hands with the unemployed. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![langour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@langour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/langour)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/10 "2000-05-19T04:48:34Z")
I love the \*romance \* of science phraseology: \*\* Recapitulated phylogeny Riparian groupers Nictitating membranes Crepuscular flying \*\* ---
**Author:** ![hightechburrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@hightechburrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hightechburrito)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/11 "2000-05-19T06:03:31Z")
Wraparound Fivehole Spearing Slipped it between the pads Dump and chase ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/12 "2000-05-19T06:41:26Z")
High and outside A bloop up the middle swinging a hot bat tonight etc etc… ---
**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/13 "2000-05-19T08:15:38Z")
… and my favorite hockey phrase: high sticking Or, have you ever looked at a washing machine and thought about sex? (Don’t ask…): Gentle action/Regular action/Heavy Duty Cold/Warm/Hot Small/Medium/Large/Xtra Large Soak/Spin/Delicate/Cool Down Mechanic’s phrases: Balls Out / Balls to the Wall - Refers to old time engine speed governers, where the ball weights fling outwards at high speeds. Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey - A brass monkey was a gizmo that looks vaguely like upward cupped fingers. It was used on warships in the bad old days to stack cast iron cannon balls. Since brass moves more with temperature than iron, when things got really cold the cannon balls would fall off. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/14 "2000-05-19T12:29:17Z")
A hard drive up the middle… He finger-rolls it up the side and shoots… And he rims it out! (With thanks to the female comedian I saw who did this routine…can’t remember her name) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/15 "2000-05-19T12:31:13Z")
“Ma’am, your drive train needs a lube job.” ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/16 "2000-05-19T12:46:25Z")
I remember Letterman once doing a Top Ten list of “phrases that sound dirty but actually aren’t.” The only one I remember was #1, which was “skydiving over Mount Baldy.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/17 "2000-05-19T12:50:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Balls Out / Balls to the Wall - Refers to old time engine speed governers, where the ball weights fling outwards at high speeds. > > Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey - A brass monkey was a gizmo that looks vaguely like upward cupped fingers. It was used on warships in the bad old days to stack cast iron cannon balls. Since brass moves more with temperature than iron, when things got really cold the cannon balls would fall off. I’m pretty sure “balls to the wall” came from cockpits. The throttle, mixture and propeller RPM controls (which had “balls” on the end) would be pushed forward “to the firewall” (i.e., pushed so far forward, they figuratively are pushed through the panel and to the firewall) to achieve maximum speed. Hence, “balls to the wall”. There was another thread that discussed “brass monkey”. IIRC, one poster stated he had studied old warships and had never seen a “brass monkey” to hold cannon balls. IMO, the phrase originated with literal brass monkeys that were used as decorations. (I have a brass monkey that holds a dip-pen that is a copy of one produced in the Victorian era.) ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/18 "2000-05-19T13:02:35Z")
The other thing to say to make any phrase a _double entendre_ is “Said the actress to the bishop.” Really! It works for anything. I’m working on my Masters in chemistry (said the actress to the bishop). Do you think it will snow tonight? (said the actress to the bishop). Is that your crook, or are you just happy to see me? (said the actress to the bishop). See! Hours of fun for all ages. ---
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/19 "2000-05-19T13:12:40Z")
“Not only is she a thespian, but she has performed in front of a paying audience!” (Hey, Rudy, I’ll sell you this one for USD 5.00.) ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2000, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936/20 "2000-05-19T13:15:01Z")
You’ve probably exhausted all the food-related ones in the past, but there are some good words that work in just about any sentence. gravy: Your gravy is so smooth. I can’t get enough of this gravy. My god! How can one woman/man make so much gravy? creamed: I see you prefer creamed corn. Interesting. stuffing: Wow. Watching you do that gives new meaning to stuffing. There’s also a whole list of great dirty-sounding sentences having to do with Thanksgiving. I’ve seen it twice so I’m sure you have too, but if you want I can ‘rout around in my funny file,’ if you know what I mean. As far as that little saying goes, they actually have a skit for it on “Who’s Line is it Anyway?”–American version, not British. The funniest one I’ve heard there recently was, “Out chokin’ the nuns, if you know what I mean…” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-know-phrases-that-sound-dirty-but-have-no-dirty-words/19936.md?page=2)