# Do you let your significant other in the bathroom while you're on the toilet? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709 "2006-01-12T20:23:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/61 "2006-01-13T13:47:42Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > All this squeamishness baffles me: I got way over that when I had a girlfriend who used to shit on the lawn, and whose tampons I used to remove: that, a childbirth, and cleaning up a shitty baby at 4 am {and a puking shitting toddler whom, to quote, “I stinked my poo”, and promptly threw up his breakfast all over the bog and had to be suitably hosed down and wiped up}, and hell holds no terrors. The Household Cavalry could troop through my bog at 8 am and as long as I had a Marlboro, a cup of tea and the newspaper, I wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. Wow. Just wow. I had a friend that had a DUI and copped a mini-insanity plea with the judge so she wouldn’t have to go to Cook County Jail to do her sentence. He put her in the psych ward. When she got there, a woman walked up, introduced herself, and proceed to take a dump on my friend’s bed. My friend spent the remaining three days on the floor in the fetal position. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/62 "2006-01-13T14:05:30Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > BTW, I have a friend who rooms with a whole extended family he’s completely unrelated to. Everyone in the house is a legal adult except for one \*\*10-year-old who’s spoiled to the point where he still hasn’t learned how to wipe himself. When he finishes doing his business he yells “I’m DOOOOOOONE!” \*\* every ten minutes until somebody comes and wipes his ass. My friend says he’s never been suckered into doing this. I hope he’s not just trying to save face. Good god. That’s an addendum to the DSM if I ever saw one. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/63 "2006-01-13T14:12:43Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > Oh goodness no. NO. I’m in the camp of people who see the bathroom as a little oasis of privacy, whether it’s using the toilet or flossing one’s teeth. > > Exceptions: > > 1. Romantic bathing > 2. Illness/injury that requires assistance > 3. Bathing the cat, not to be confused with #1 Number 2 and number 3 go hand in hand. That happens to be ‘just how it goes’ at my house! ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/64 "2006-01-13T14:28:26Z")
> [@Penchan](#): > > After 5 years of being together and 2 years of actually living with each other, we’ve managed to be in the bathroom together for #1, but that’s it. Me and my girlfriend have been together for roughly eight months and we go to the bathroom together as a rule. Privacy? You can get privacy if you need it, why lock yourself up in the bathroom of all places? The first few times I had to clean myself after going to the toilet, the atmosphere was a bit tense, I admit. The feeling was sort of “Do we really want to see this?”, but it got replaced by “We’re only humans and this is what we do and that we know that we do”. I think sharing the same bathroom at the same time was a natural step in us getting as close to eachother as possible. We like to shower together too. Besides! When you’re going to bed at night, one of us can brush teeth while the other is occupying the toilet. It’s efficient, and I’m glad that we can share that intimacy and make it feel natural. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/65 "2006-01-13T15:09:10Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Although , when I was at Boy Scout summer camp, we had a _three-hole_ outhouse, which I had no problems with. Necessity and all that. It’s the same thing as those Army bathrooms with lots of toilets but no stall walls around them. That was very common in the 1800s-- in fact, I can’t remember ever seeing an original outhouse with just one hole, and I would know because the museum in which I work sponsored excavations of outhouses in our county. Remember the “good old days” when the whole family slept in the same room? Not much privacy for using the chamber pot, to say the least. I always love it when school groups come through, because it totally blows kids’ minds to think of pooping in front of their parents and siblings in a tiny metal pot. Well, at least it had a lid, I always tell them. So, as a historian, I know my bathroom-shyness is an artificial modesty imposed by my modern socialization. That doesn’t change the fact that even the DOGS must make themselves scarce! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/66 "2006-01-13T15:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > That was very common in the 1800s-- in fact, I can’t remember ever seeing an original outhouse with just one hole, and I would know because the museum in which I work sponsored excavations of outhouses in our county. The outhouses at Sturbridge Village – which I assume are, like most of the other buildings there, genuine period structures – are all two-seaters. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/67 "2006-01-13T15:48:46Z")
My only objection is to him doing #2 while I’m having a bath, because the configuration of the room means he is doing his #2 mere inches from my head. This does not contribute to the calm relaxation that the bath is intended for. Other than that, it’s all good. We don’t make a point of being in there together, but sometimes it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/68 "2006-01-13T16:09:47Z")
We don’t exactly “enjoy” it, but ever since she had to get out of our bath for an emergency #2 visit, it’s been pretty relaxed. She was terribly embarrassed at the time, but there was nothing she could do about it :). I just laughed it off and reclined in the bath a little to give her some privacy. And she’s never seen me poop, but anything else is fine - I can block my nose without holding it (which I always do when I go to the toilet, anyway) so nothing really bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/69 "2006-01-13T17:01:11Z")
I am absolutely amazed by this thread. There is something like a 10 to 1 ratio of people who will never allow SOs in the room while they shit to those that will, with a majority who will not let them in while they piss and a significant minority that will not even let them in while completing their toilet. I had never had any problem with someone else using a bathroom at the same time if we were in a sexual relationship. I had figured we shared so much that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. I assumed there were some people who did not feel that way but estimated that they were probably a neurotic minority with self esteem or body issues. Now I find out that I am by far the minority. Weird. I understand not wanting to be around if it stinks quite badly, but why else? Some people have mentioned maintaining a “mystique” but that doesn’t really seem to make all that much sense to me and definitely does not seem to apply to most of the respondents. Please enlighten me on this. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/70 "2006-01-13T17:05:23Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Yeah, I never gave a shit (no pun int.). Mr. AFG was more private. I used to like to bug him about it sometimes. He’d be on the can and I’d tap on the door. He’d say, “Yeah?” > > I’d say, “Are you on the toilet?” > > Him: “Yes.” > > Me: “Is poo coming out?” > > Him: “Yeeeeesss…” > > Me: “Is it big?” > > Him: “Leave me alone!” > > Me: 😃 **Amazon** , meet my wife, **Jakeline**. Sweetheart, meet Amazon. Are you sure you two aren’t related? But dammit, I still laughed when I read it… ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/71 "2006-01-13T17:21:55Z")
> [@cactus waltz](#): > > It’s efficient, and I’m glad that we can share that intimacy and make it feel natural. That is so much more intimacy than I feel the need for. **flight** , I don’t have self-esteem issues, and I don’t think I’m (more than usually!) neurotic. I just don’t particularly care for shit. I have no choice but to spend some time with mine, but why would I spend time with yours if I don’t have to? We can’t both use the toilet at the same time, and frankly, anything else I need to do can wait. To me, it seems more neurotic to \*want \* to be around someone who’s taking a dump. (I’m not judging anyone here, I’m just completely baffled.) That’s entirely more “closeness” than I’ve ever felt the desire for in my life. No matter how much I love someone, we are, in fact, separate people. We don’t need to be included in \*every \* aspect of each other’s lives. We can go to the bathroom without each other. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/72 "2006-01-13T17:36:48Z")
The only time I’ve been willing to share is to hold a gf or wife’s hair out of the way while she drunkenly pukes. Since I keep my head shaved, I don’t require any assistance during my own chundering. Like many, I had my fill of communal bathrooms in the Army. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/73 "2006-01-13T18:08:05Z")
I let some of my friends in the bathroom at the same time as me. I have no problems with SOs. ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/74 "2006-01-13T19:43:07Z")
> [@cactus waltz](#): > > Me and my girlfriend have been together for roughly eight months and we go to the bathroom together as a rule. Privacy? You can get privacy if you need it, why lock yourself up in the bathroom of all places? > > The first few times I had to clean myself after going to the toilet, the atmosphere was a bit tense, I admit. The feeling was sort of “Do we really want to see this?”, but it got replaced by “We’re only humans and this is what we do and that we know that we do”. I think sharing the same bathroom at the same time was a natural step in us getting as close to eachother as possible. We like to shower together too. > > Besides! When you’re going to bed at night, one of us can brush teeth while the other is occupying the toilet. It’s efficient, and I’m glad that we can share that intimacy and make it feel natural. Oh don’t get me wrong, it’s not all about privacy or embarrassment (though it does factor into it), it’s mostly about performing a bodily function that you may not want your significant other to see. As I stated in my previous post, I don’t like my own smell, so why would I want to smell him? I love him to pieces, but I don’t think we’d gain all that much more by watching each other go #2. If you’re comfortable enough to do that with your SO, then that’s cool. We just feel that isn’t something we want to take part of. That’s when he gets some of his reading done and that’s when I contemplate life. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, I say. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/75 "2006-01-13T19:45:55Z")
No. I always figured if someone saw you taking a grunt, they might not want to give you any more hugs out of fear they’d squeeze another one out. I for one would miss the hugs. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/76 "2006-01-13T20:12:56Z")
> [@flight](#): > > (snip) Please enlighten me on this. For me, it’s not about being neurotic or grossed out. Bathroom time is time I enjoy spending with MYSELF. Quality time with me. I have my undivded attention. Maybe I am vain 😉 but I think it’s time well spent and I enjoy the company. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/77 "2006-01-13T20:44:28Z")
> [@flight](#): > > I understand not wanting to be around if it stinks quite badly, but why else? Some people have mentioned maintaining a “mystique” but that doesn’t really seem to make all that much sense to me and definitely does not seem to apply to most of the respondents. Please enlighten me on this. I don’t do any of my girly personal maintainence in front of my SO. Once in a while he sits on the bed and keeps me company while I do my makeup, but that is about it. As for bathroom activity, I see no reason to share something that is personal and actually quite gross for the person who is witnessing it. The “mystique” is of some importance to me. Of course he knows I’m a human being with bodily functions, but if he never has to see me do it then he never has a mental picture of it. He knows that I don’t look gorgeous all of the time, but I never want him to see my worst unless it’s somehow medically necessary (like when I had surgery, he did take care of me, but I still went to the bathroom on my own). ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/78 "2006-01-13T21:09:16Z")
My boyfriend REFUSES to let me in the bathroom when he’s taking a crap. I have no idea why. It’s not like I _want_ to be in there while he’s doing that but…sometimes I just need in the bathroom, dammit, and I don’t want to wait 20 minutes. I wouldn’t give a crap (ahem) if he came in while I was doing my business. He comes in while I’m peeing all the time. I brush my teeth while he’s peeing. We shower together. What’s the difference? And AFG, I’m definitely stealing your quote for next time when he’s on the pot. Priceless. “Is poo coming out?” HAHAHA. That just made me laugh so hard. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/79 "2006-01-13T21:11:54Z")
Damn, you guys. I can’t even take a crap around any of my boyfriends-of-the-moment. Dating is going to send me straight to Colon Cancerville, I think. By the end of the weekend I’m like “yeah, bye” and give some very perfunctory good-byes so I can go the hell home and take a shit. It’s always been a cause for wonder for the guys I date. “Why is she always rushing off after a couple of days?” I hope I get over it soon. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/80 "2006-01-13T21:14:40Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > Oh goodness no. NO. I’m in the camp of people who see the bathroom as a little oasis of privacy, whether it’s using the toilet or flossing one’s teeth. > > Exceptions: > > 1. Romantic bathing > 2. Illness/injury that requires assistance > 3. Bathing the cat, not to be confused with #1 Numbers two and three have considerable overlap. Anyway, when on the toilet, the cats can come in (since they tend to cry outside the door otherwise) but no humans, S.O. or otherwise. When I’m peeing, I could care less. I have a weird little neurotic thing where I don’t like people to see me brushing my teeth or flossing, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709.md?page=5)