# Do you let your significant other in the bathroom while you're on the toilet? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709 "2006-01-12T20:23:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/81 "2006-01-13T21:35:23Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > I don’t do any of my girly personal maintainence in front of my SO. Once in a while he sits on the bed and keeps me company while I do my makeup, but that is about it. As for bathroom activity, I see no reason to share something that is personal and actually quite gross for the person who is witnessing it. > > The “mystique” is of some importance to me. Of course he knows I’m a human being with bodily functions, but if he never has to see me do it then he never has a mental picture of it. He knows that I don’t look gorgeous all of the time, but I never want him to see my worst unless it’s somehow medically necessary (like when I had surgery, he did take care of me, but I still went to the bathroom on my own). You sound a lot like the ladyfriend. I’ve sat around while she applied make-up but anything else is pretty much taboo. She feels her sexiness is considerably diminished if I see her using the bathroom, doing some intimate grooming, etc. She’s already made it clear that she would greatly appreciate it if/when she has my child if I’m not in the room, watching the event. Now, in my mind, none of this would make a difference. But it very obviously make a big difference to **her** in how she feels like a woman around me so I can handle it. I don’t have any pressing desire to see her use the bathroom anyway. Also I saw my son (previous relationship) born and, while it was worth seeing, in retrospect the next six years with him weren’t in any way enhanced or diminished for having seen it. It’s not important enough to me to make a fuss over. Needless to say, she has no interest in being in the bathroom while I’m using it. Brushing teeth, blowdrying hair, showering, me shaving and the like is fine between us. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/82 "2006-01-13T21:42:03Z")
My kids follow me everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/83 "2006-01-13T22:37:39Z")
Put me in the “not just no, but hell no” camp. I cannot even begin to describe the squickiness I would feel if such an occurrence happened, and I am fairly certain my husband holds the same view. I will even admit that this is because I am neurotic and grossed out. 😛 As far as he’s concerned, me actually using the toilet is a mystery. All he knows is that I enter the bathroom and leave the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/84 "2006-01-13T23:24:44Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > Damn, you guys. I can’t even take a crap around any of my boyfriends-of-the-moment. Dating is going to send me straight to Colon Cancerville, I think. By the end of the weekend I’m like “yeah, bye” and give some very perfunctory good-byes so I can go the hell home and take a shit. It’s always been a cause for wonder for the guys I date. “Why is she always rushing off after a couple of days?” > > I hope I get over it soon. See, I used to be like that. I would absolutely refuse to go #2 if the boyfriend was anywhere near me, but then I figured I’m hurting myself by not going when I have to. Besides, if the boyfriend is worth anything, he would understand that when you gotta go, you gotta go. While it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I just prefer doing it in the bathroom by myself. I’m sorry to say, but if you want to live or be around any boyfriends any significant amount of time without dying, then it’s just something you have to grit your teeth to and say “I’m gonna go do some thinking!” and head on to the bathroom. It’s funny, we used to be so embarrassed before, but now when either of us feel the urge, he picks up a textbook (I pick up a magazine) and we say “time to read a book”. I think it’s cute, anyway… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/85 "2006-01-14T00:22:18Z")
> [@The Chao Goes Mu](#): > > Good god. That’s an addendum to the DSM if I ever saw one. Yeah? You think so? 😃 You’ll like this one: Remember the ex who went into the men’s public bathroom with me? She had a little brother–don’t remember his age but he was definitely old enough (though under 10)–who was also a spoiled brat, and when he was lying around in his room (on the bed, watching TV, whatever) he just let loose in his pants, because he was too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom. This didn’t bother the mom at all. My ex begged and pleaded her to either (a) discipline the kid herself or (b) let her (my ex) do it, but the mother just said “Ah, don’t worry yourself so much, he’ll grow out of it.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2006, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/86 "2006-01-14T08:25:31Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > You eat kosher! How can your shit stink? Beans, tofu, and cabbage in its various forms are kosher… And you do NOT want to be near the bathroom if I’m in it after eating pickled herring. It’s best to be in a different time zone in that case. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![autobulb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@autobulb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/autobulb)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2006, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/87 "2006-01-14T08:51:02Z")
We leave the door open all the time. Sometimes we’ll sit on the rim of the bathtub and hang out while the other is going at it. When we have those really long snakey ones we call each other over to come and see and get weirded out by how long they can get. Hehe. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2006, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/88 "2006-01-14T09:38:57Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > Beans, tofu, and cabbage in its various forms are kosher… And you do NOT want to be near the bathroom if I’m in it after eating pickled herring. It’s best to be in a different time zone in that case. Ah, true. How can I forget my falafel experimentation stage? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/89 "2006-01-14T18:25:56Z")
My right hand goes everywhere with me. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/90 "2006-01-17T23:53:00Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > That is so much more intimacy than I feel the need for. > > **flight** , I don’t have self-esteem issues, and I don’t think I’m (more than usually!) neurotic. I just don’t particularly care for shit. I have no choice but to spend some time with mine, but why would I spend time with yours if I don’t have to? We can’t both use the toilet at the same time, and frankly, anything else I need to do can wait. > > To me, it seems more neurotic to \*want \* to be around someone who’s taking a dump. (I’m not judging anyone here, I’m just completely baffled.) That’s entirely more “closeness” than I’ve ever felt the desire for in my life. No matter how much I love someone, we are, in fact, separate people. We don’t need to be included in \*every \* aspect of each other’s lives. We can go to the bathroom without each other. OK, I also find it weird that some people want to specifically be around their SO when they shit. I just don’t care one way or the other. We will continue conversations or use the sink while the other uses the toilet. If things smell particularly bad, though, we will warn each other off. As to the mystique thing that several posters have mentioned, it seems that it reflects a sort of idealization of women. I did a bit of that in my earlier dating and found it to be not conducive to a long term relationship. Recently I have been more into the idea of loving someone when they were at their worst and least attractive as a standard for the rest of the relationship. As for grossness, I am more tolerant of it than some I guess. I guess I understand this the most. Some people have trouble with blood, I guess others have trouble with shit or even the thought of shit. It still seems a bit neurotic to me. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/91 "2006-01-18T00:22:24Z")
> [@flight](#): > > Recently I have been more into the idea of loving someone when they were at their worst and least attractive as a standard for the rest of the relationship. Absolutely! How do you know they really love you until they’ve seen you at your worst and least attractive, and still not left you? There’s nothing better than that feeling, when you get it for the first time in a relationship. I don’t _try_ to be around Mr. Neville when he is shitting. It just isn’t a big deal if I have to come into the bathroom for something and it turns out he is. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/92 "2006-01-18T03:59:23Z")
But I’m \*not \* at my worst when I’m shitting. Everybody shits. Unpleasant odors emit from every human being on earth. It’s not something I see as a litmus test, or a bonding experience. If they stick around after they’ve seen the high-test bitchery, which is, if not unique to me, at least something they could probably get less of from someone else, \*then \* they’re a keeper. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/93 "2006-01-18T18:32:08Z")
Yes. Just after we were married we lived in a rental house with one bathroom - but it was the size of some small counties in New England. I tend to take a long time (always another puzzle to do) so she’d never see me otherwise. We have two sinks also. I’d get a two holer, but we have three bathrooms in our house, and I always seem to be fixing one toilet or another. As for smell - we have a fan. And I echo Dio - nothing anyone can do in the bathroom is worse than giving birth, at least the way my wife did it. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/94 "2006-01-18T20:38:55Z")
Brushing my teeth or taking a shower, no problem. Any of the other 2 things, I’d prefer privacy but it’s not essential. Which is probably for the best, as locks do not stop my fiancé. I remember he once unlocked the bathroom from the outside while I was taking a shower to bring me a burger. I’m not sure why the burger couldn’t wait until _after_ my shower. Maybe I was supposed to eat it in the shower? Shampoo burger. Yummy! If my fiancé realises that I’m on the toilet, I get my privacy though. He doesn’t seem to care about it, he doesn’t even bother to close the door. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/95 "2006-01-18T21:46:26Z")
I have seriously been in the bathroom, sitting down, numerous times – too numerous to count – with my wife at the door talking to me, 2 kids hovering around her asking questions, and the dog at my feet for some companionship. Nothing is sacred in our house. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/96 "2006-01-18T23:00:04Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I have seriously been in the bathroom, sitting down Are you sure you weren’t just watching the Leafs? 😃 (Yes, every thread you join will be hijacked into a hockey thread. Muahahahahah!) ---
**Author:** ![rainy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@rainy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rainy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/97 "2006-01-19T01:20:06Z")
Absolutely. We might as well not even have doors on the bathroom, they are never closed unless there are guests in the house. ---
**Author:** ![DrLoveGun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@DrLoveGun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrLoveGun)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/98 "2006-01-19T04:19:43Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > However, I know men who walk in on their wives/girlfiends and vice versa…men who take great pride in farting on their wives/girlfriend’s face, or trapping them in their bathroom stink, or under a fart filled blanket (dutch oven). I married this woman. Hmmm. Somehow I can’t keep her out when I’m in there, no matter what I’m doing. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709/99 "2006-01-19T05:33:09Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > They would ask a member of the family to go keep ‘em company and chat while they pooped. It was the weirdest f\*\*\*in’ thing Possibly a side-effect of illiteracy? People who can bring a book or magazine don’t need to be “kept company”. Sailboat [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-let-your-significant-other-in-the-bathroom-while-youre-on-the-toilet/339709.md?page=4)