I love it all, perhaps because I was born on Christmas Day. (At least, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.) I love looking for that perfect present for people, or baking/cooking/sewing something unusual and handmade. One of my favorite presents was for my SIL – they’re restoring an old farmhouse, and I found antique Christmas sheet music on ebay for pennies and framed it with Victorian-themed scrapbook cutouts all around it. It was in German, so I included a translation of the lyrics on the back of the picture.
I am stalling on the wrapping of most of the presents this year because if our big dog gets a wild hair and goes on a running fit, she sometimes picks up stuff in her path and shreds it. So far she’s opened my nephew’s present and one of mein Herr’s. Really doesn’t do the present itself much damage, but she loves her some crinkly paper.
Hate it. Aside from the “rank consumerism” angle (and the “let’s trample people to death to get 20 bucks off an iPod” angle)…
I can’t remember a time in my adult life where being “obligated” to buy gifts for people wasn’t a huge financial strain, even if it was just family. In fact, I asked my family a few years ago if we could just get together over the holidays and forgo the gift exchange. They said yes, so I, relieved, showed up empty-handed. They bought me gifts anyway. Thanks for making me feel like a cheapskate, guys. (That was a pretty awful holiday for other reasons already, so when I saw what they’d done, I slipped off into the guest bedroom and literally burst into tears.)
So now every year I have to spend all this time and mental gymnastics trying to figure out what to give that doesn’t cost anything.
There’s also the fact that we’re all adults here. There’s nothing I need that would fit within a reasonable budget for gift-giving. If there were, I would have gotten it for myself already. The stuff that I could really use is, on the cheap end, at least $60, and most are three-figures (and sometimes up to four – mainly camera/studio equipment that I could really use to make myself a lot more competitive as a pro photographer).
The same is true of any adult, in my experience, so we end up exchanging tchochkys that would normally end up in a landfill if we didn’t feel guilty about it being a gift, so it’s clutter in the back of the storage closet… or it’s clothing, and none of us have remotely similar aesthetics when it comes to clothing, so we get stuff that we’d never wear. (Mom, I love ya, but I will never wear an appliqued sweatshirt in public, thanks.)
I also don’t really see the point. Assuming you’re keeping your gift-spending more or less even and fair, no one is making any kind of net gain from this money flow (you get an equivalent cost to what you spent), so the only one who benefits are the retailers. If we’ve got money to spend, why not spend it on ourselves so we can at least be sure that the final object is something we want and can use?
ETA: Though I will say that if the gift is taking me clothing shopping for a day, that’s cool. I get to pick out stuff I would actually wear, and (ultimately) get better and more clothing than I could afford on my own. Mum did this for me for my birthday a couple years ago; it was great.
This is exactly my problem. My parents will do some gentle ribbing looking for ideas, but my in-laws practically demand ideas and make me feel guilty for not issuing a list of demands…er…wishes. My MIL literally apologized to my FIL for not getting ONE item of little consequence off of his list. The whole thing is just ridiculous.
I find it pretty much a big pain in the ass the older I get. The expense, hassle, traffic, parking, social obligation, never knowing what to get someone, finding they don’t really appreciate what you do give them, getting stuff I don’t want or need, everyone having their hand out for a tip. Plus, the commercial Christmas thing starting earlier & earlier every year, just makes it seem meaningless.
That said, as Homer put it so aptly : “Nothing like a cold beer on a warm Christamas morning!” 
I think this is really the important thing. I see a lot of the people who don’t like it just having to buy too much, or stuff way out of their price range. This doesn’t count for people who don’t like it at all, of course, which is fair. But I do think those people should be allowed to be exempt from gift-giving AND getting. I mean, I hate when you make an agreement not to buy gifts and then they do anyway, like with Kaio. That’s just rude. At the most Kaio should be able to get by with some baked goods - can you do something like that, Kaio?
I don’t like it. My girlfriend and I don’t buy each other gifts for any occasion, and we’re cool with that. We get each other little things all year round.
Family is 500 miles away and I’m traveling by Amtrak, so it wouldn’t travel well. I am thinking of asking if I can bring my recipe book and baking something while I’m there, though. I tend to be more adventurous in seeking out new sweets/recipes to try, so I might be able to expand their horizons.
The only “issue” is that I’m arriving in the wee hours of Christmas morning, so it would have to be post-actual-holiday treats over the weekend rather than something that would be ready in time for Christmas brunch. I also always help in the kitchen with whatever Mum was making – we did rum balls last year, among other things, which were awesome.
That, and this year my gift to sis and BIL is to take photos of BILs inventory so he can get his business website up and running (I’m also building his website). Costs me nothing in terms of cash, but it’s something they’re really excited to get. Mum’s gift is a DVD of a stage show I was in recently, that she wasn’t able to come down for. (That did cost money, but I made sure to budget for it.)
I hate it. I only like giving presents that don’t feel like an obligation, and I’m happy not receiving presents and just buying anything I want myself.
I hate it. From January through October whenever I need a new coffee pot, or some book shelves, or a new USB flashdrive etc, i just go buy it. But November-December I am threatened within an inch of my life by my girlfriend and mother that “you shouldn’t buy things so close to Christmas”. So instead of spending the money on what I want and having it now, I have to wait two months. And it’s not like I’m saving the money, because I have to spend that money on the other person, getting them something they could have just bought themselves instead of again having to wait two months.
I mean, for children I get the concept. They don’t have jobs and rely on others for presents. When everyone involved is adults though, can’t we all just decide to take whatever money you would spend on others and get yourself what you want? It all comes out even financially and you don’t have to worry about not getting the right thing! Bah Humbug!
I realize that gift-giving can be stressful, but I feel sad that so many people hate it.
I think Christmas can be what you make it - and you can shut out the rest of the negative stuff if you try.
I know that for me, the year I told my ex I wanted a divorce, I just ignored the holiday all together and it was fine. But in other years, I was able to give gifts, send out Christmas cards, and make Christmas what I want.
I know I grumbled a little about having my own family not know me, but I’m glad they at least wanted to give me something. And I know that I can give presents all year round, but I don’t mind taking some time at Christmas to say, “i love you enough to give you a present even if it means I’m giving in to the rank commercialism, crass inundation, right wing conspiracy of all that is ungodly, unholy and over the top about this time of year. you are special to me and so I am giving you this shiny rock. Feliz navidad!”
I like gift giving much more than I do gift getting. I keep telling my family that I just want my kids to be happy, but they keep getting me presents anyway. I like birthdays, because mine falls right in between our childrens birthdays, so mine can get ignored.
However, as much as I like giving, I despise the actual shopping. The internet has made shopping a lot easier for me, because I don’t have to go out and fight the madding crowd.
This is what my in-laws do, too. In fact, my MIL was quite annoyed with my husband when we didn’t wait for their lists to get their presents. She kept saying, ‘But your father really needs this,’ to him. If you ‘need’ something, go get it. He makes enough to do so! (It was more upsetting because this was the first time in the whole time I have been with my husband that he came up with a gift idea for his dad that he really liked.)
They also get far too carried away. I once put a series of books on my list expecting to get one or two of whatever someone could find for a good price. Instead they got me all ten including two hardcovers. (And that was not even the biggest thing I got that year.)
Then there is my family. I suggested that instead of gifts this year, we give to charity since we are a family of (for the next month or so, anyway) all adults. My mom and sister nearly cried. :rolleyes:
However, I have to say, I actually like shopping for all my loved ones and love wrapping presents. It’s the receiving I don’t like.
Maybe next year when I have wee ones around I can convince them to give more to them and less (nothing?) to me. I hate getting presents.
I do most of my shopping online, too. Black Friday is usually one of the only days I venture out - IME, stores are more crowded closer to Christmas than they are the day after Thanksgiving.
Also, since I live in St. Louis but usually spend Christmas in NH, it helps to be able to ship things directly there, instead of having to pack them.
I love gift exchanges, be it Christmas or any other occasion. I like to give gifts and I like to get them. It’s fun! (for me–not saying that it is fun for you [generic you])
I like exchanging presents especially when I have money. My only rule is that I don’t like lists, I figure if I know someone well enough to get them a present I should know what they want. This year the only person that I had to ask for was my brother-in-law since I’ve only met the guy a handful of times and if I skipped him my family would be pissed.
I love getting extravagant presents that people would never buy for themselves for instance I’m getting my oldest friends daughter, the only kid in the group, a 7’ tall teddy bear. It is a crazy gift that the kid will love but her parents could never afford.
But when I don’t have money I don’t like getting people little gifts, there doesn’t seem to be any point since they could have gotten it for themselves. In fact my friends and I are doing a gift exchange this year so I’m basically just putting $25 bucks into a hat for someone to draw. I think it takes the fun out of it.
Of course on the other hand I buy all of the things that I want and I’ve been told that I’m hard to shop for so I publish a list and prefer the my family sticks to it because when they get creative it’s normally just another thing to stick in a closet. Last year I got everything I’d need to stock a bar (liquor, glasses, coasters, towels, etc.) but I rarely drink at home and don’t have a bar which was frustrating since I still have some of the crap in their original boxes.
I’m still on maternity lave this year, so Christmas shopping has been super fun- I get to go during the week in the day time when it isn’t as busy. The baby loves being out in her buggy, and I’ve had all the time in the world to do it.
I do get things from the internet (Amazon is THE best site ever), but I also like browsing the shops, feeling, smelling and touching things and weighing up what to go for. I have no idea if people appreciate the gifts I get them, but I enjoy choosing them. I don’t really find it stressful.
This year I have to buy for:
My parents
My 2 sisters and their SOs
3 nieces (aged 7, 9 and 9 months)
1 nephew (aged 1)
My daughter
My husband
My husbands cousins and what not (easy- boxes of biscuits, chocolates and vino)
My grandmother
My husband’s grandmother
My dad’s and a nephew’s (aged 3) birthday gifts (both Christmas babies)
Irishfella is buying Xmas gifts for:
2 nephews (aged 3 and 4)- because he finds choosing toys for little boys fun
His sister and her husband- because they want tokens
Me-because he has to
Irishbaby- because he finds choosing toys for his little girl fun too!
Our best friends - because it is easy-booze
My husband’s family (us, his parents and two sisters) is doing a sort of secret santa for the adults this year- it was getting crazy with 7 grandkids, so the four adult couples are buying only for one other couple and everyone is buying for the kids.
I usually get book tokens and toiletries from my family. This would usually be a sign of laziness on their part, but they know me well enough to know that I love shopping for books (receiving a book always feels like I have been robbed of the chance to browse a bookshop) and that I love reading a book in the bath with a glass of wine!
They’re even more awesome after they’ve sat for a week or so, or when you use other types of booze. And they travel great. Problem solved! I recommend the amaretto ones.
If you have access to a stand mixer, or someone who will trade off with you while you use the hand mixer for 15 minutes or so, marshmallows also travel very well and are well-received. Truffles should be fine at room temp for the time you’re going to be traveling, though I’ve never tried keeping them out of the fridge long-term (not that they last more than a day or so anyway.)
If you do the cook on premises thing, I heartily recommend Irish car bomb cupcakes–chocolate stout cupcakes cored out and filled with whisky ganache and topped with Bailey’s buttercream icing. Wet your pants good, I’m telling you.
I very much agree with melodyharmonious’s assessment of being able to make the Christmas you want, within certain limitations. I can’t control how much our families spend, or whether they give us stuff, or how much they demand an exact listing of what we want right down to the serial number. But I can control my own budget and refuse to get swept up the dueling present madness. I can focus on seeing just how many fun little things I can pack into the budget for the $5 Dirty Santa. I can put take-out on our nice dishes and eat it by candlelight the night DoctorJ and I exchange presents instead of cooking and cleaning up after yet another big meal neither of us really wants.
I don’t understand the dislike of getting gifts–do you guy just not like surprises in general? I mean, I get it if everyone always gets you something you could get yourself, or something you totally don’t want. Or if they spend too much on it or make it too big an obligation. I think you’d like it better if you could get the type of gift you want–even if it’s not tangible, like a meal, get together, or spa treatment or something.
As for giving, I like giving gifts–I hate trying to figure out what to give to people who won’t share the sort of stuff that they like. I also hate spending the money, since I never have any. I hate giving thoughtless gifts, so I try my best to come up with something that shows how much I care.
I’m curious what the general opinion is: at what age should a person stop sending unsolicited Christmas Wish Lists?
Is this a hijack? Should I start a different thread??
Unsolicited? You are never young enough to do that. If someone asks, you may give them a list, being sure to include inexpensive items. You can maintain a wishlist on Amazon and give people the URL if they ask. But you can’t just hand people a wish list at random, ever.