# Do you like Fig Newtons? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 9, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993 "2015-12-09T23:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/61 "2015-12-11T02:36:48Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > _Fig_ Newtons? I’ll eat them if offered and no other option is available. Eat Fig Newtons or starve is indeed a very close decision. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/62 "2015-12-11T02:44:30Z")
I prefer strawberry Newtons but Fig Newtons are good too. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/63 "2015-12-11T12:58:36Z")
Anyone remember Juice Newton? What was that all about? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/64 "2015-12-11T13:02:39Z")
You’d have to squeeze a lot of newtons to get even a little juice. Even then, it’d be all sticky sweet and I don’t think I would like it. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/65 "2015-12-11T21:24:29Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > You’d have to squeeze a lot of newtons to get even a little juice. Even then, it’d be all sticky sweet and I don’t think I would like it. Maybe. It all depends on your taste in music. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/66 "2015-12-12T01:23:30Z")
I love Fig Newtons, but the fig bars at the Korean produce stands in New York are even better. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/67 "2015-12-12T15:01:31Z")
They’re not the greatest things in the world (other flavors are better), but they aren’t bad. And they aren’t as cloyingly sweet as many other cookies–making it much easier to eat a lot of them. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/68 "2015-12-13T05:47:01Z")
They taste okay, but they always seem too dry, so I said no. My mother loved them - I think they were her favourite cookie. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/69 "2015-12-13T18:35:34Z")
I want to like them, but they always disappoint. Remember the episode of M_A_S_H_ when Hawkeye was having a bad time and Colonel Potter offers him a glass of Scotch from his private stash. Then the Colonel pulls out a box of Fig Newtons and suggests Hawk take one, with the gleeful comment, “They’re great if you _dunk_ 'em!” ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/70 "2015-12-13T19:47:35Z")
Ah Fig Newtons. Love them! However, I have not actually purchased them for years in a package. They are sugar bombs that, while delicious, can cut into a diet quickly and effortlessly. What I do now is buy figs separately (I love figs) and I will put a quarter-sheet of a honey maid graham cracker with it. Not as soft and chewy as a real fig newton, but it DOES satisfy much of my taste bud cravings. If you eat one small fig with a 1/4 piece of a graham cracker and eat them together, it tastes pretty close to a fig newton with a bit more of a crunch. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/71 "2015-12-13T21:39:28Z")
My potted fig tree dropped it’s first tiny, wizened, green fig today. I wept and drank myself senseless. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/72 "2015-12-13T22:42:13Z")
a nasty cookie. ---
**Author:** ![Dolukhanova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c68b51/32.png) [@Dolukhanova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dolukhanova)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/73 "2015-12-14T18:44:29Z")
When I was a child, Fig Newtons were pretty much my favorite food. My family still teases me about the vigor with which I belted out “We all want some figgy pudding” while singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas – because, of course, I was thinking of Fig Newtons. ---
**Author:** ![oara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b77776/32.png) [@oara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oara)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/74 "2015-12-14T21:41:39Z")
I don’t know whether I ever had an official fig newton. We had some around at least once or twice when I was growing up, but I wasn’t too sure what a fig was, plus the wrapper had some sort of creepy-looking mascot that I think must have something like an anthropomorphic fig. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2015, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/75 "2015-12-15T06:04:40Z")
To me they taste like ass would taste like if I ever tasted ass, which I have not. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/76 "2015-12-15T12:28:13Z")
And they’re not named after Sir Isaac. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993/77 "2015-12-16T01:47:26Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > They satisfy my urge to disassemble my food before I eat it, similarly to Oreos and Kandy Korn. > > According to Calvin, this certifies me as a Grade A Nimrod. I even do that with 'za. But not with burgers, save to remove an offensive item like pickles. Anyway, fig newtons, yeah, they’re prett. good. > [@Biotop](#): > > a nasty cookie. “Newtons aren’t cookies. They’re fat free fruit and cake!” line from a Newtons commercial, probably in the 90’s. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-like-fig-newtons/739993.md?page=3)