# Do you mind if people (from the SDMB) you don't know, PM you or E-mail you... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 30, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707 "2007-07-30T17:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/21 "2007-07-30T20:06:56Z")
The only unsolicited PM I’ve ever gotten was from someone seeking clarification about a post of mine, and I appreciated it. I don’t tend to be controversial enough on the boards to garner any negative attention\*, so I’d say PM is welcome from whomever, whenever. \*Outside of my deep loathing of chocolate, that is. But no one seems to have noticed that about me yet. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/22 "2007-07-30T20:27:20Z")
I’ve had a handful, all from nice people, most of whom wanted to ask about my user name and whether I was a fan of E.F. Benson (yes, I am). And it occasionally leads to conversations about his work and the one article I wrote about them. So, no, I don’t mind it. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/23 "2007-07-30T20:31:26Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] I love the PMs. Don’t e-mail me without checking with me on PM first, or at least givnig me a heads up. I don’t even know if I have my e-mail on the boards; if I do, it’s one I don’t use very often. But sure, PM me anytime! [/QUOTE] This is what I was going to post. I’m glad the board decided to allow PMs, and I think they’re very convenient. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/24 "2007-07-30T20:39:25Z")
I think PMs are neato. I forget which of my email addresses I used to sign up for the boards (don’t worry, mods - whichever it is, I do still have access to it!) and this means I don’t always get around to checking whichever address that was. Plus, these days it’s possible for someone’s email to me to get caught in a spam filter or for me to just delete it along with all the _real_ spam. With PMs, I at least know I’m going to get it. Maybe not today, if I don’t notice the notification, but I’ll get it soon enough. I’ve written a couple and I’ve gotten a couple (both unsolicited) and I was happy with the system. I’m not turned off by them at all! ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/25 "2007-07-30T20:49:49Z")
I don’t mind PMs or e-mails from anyone, for any reason. Which is why both my PM and e-mail options are enabled. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/26 "2007-07-30T20:50:58Z")
I’ve had a grand total of one\* person PM me. It didn’t bother me at all, and I hope I was somewhat helpful in what they asked of me. I think I’ve had one\* person email me, as well, and I didn’t find that weird at all. - Yeah, one in about 4 years of membership. I’m just not all that popular. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/27 "2007-07-30T20:53:28Z")
I PM’d once and got a PM back and it was pretty neat. I wouldn’t mind being PM’d from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/28 "2007-07-30T20:54:16Z")
So long as they’re polite, and identify themselves (at least as to context), no, I have no problem with it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/29 "2007-07-30T20:59:06Z")
I like PMs. It’s a slightly more personal way to communicate. I don’t mind e-mails, either. If I got one (of either) which was not nice – and to be fair to, I never have – I would just disregard it. But I like to hear from other people here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/30 "2007-07-30T20:59:09Z")
Sure, I’ve PM’ed with several folks, some of which led to e-mail, and I made some new friends in the process. I don’t mind if you want to talk to me off the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/31 "2007-07-30T21:18:50Z")
[QUOTE=LunaV] I don’t mind PMs or emails as long as they have something to do with a thread or conversation somehow. That’s why I allow both. Out of the blue emails with no connection to anything on the board other than “hey we’re both members; let’s talk!” smack of date-seeking. [/QUOTE] And what exactly is wrong with date-seeking? Now, firing off a message to someone under false pretences, or totally ignoring what they’re actually doing in pursuit of your own agenda, are kinda skeevy, but a simple “I think you’re kinda neat, wanna meet?” doesn’t seem so to me. If I was uninterested, I’d simply say no. I have been in several flurries of PMs lately, and it’s been good. But those all arose out of threads on the boards. I probably wouldn’t send a PM to someone I had had no other interaction with. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/32 "2007-07-30T21:31:20Z")
I have both my PMs enabled and email address posted. Heck, I even have my location and birthday in my profile. You people don’t scare me! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/33 "2007-07-30T21:33:25Z")
If it weren’t for some advisorial PMs, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I’ve had some friendly PM convos too 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/34 "2007-07-30T21:43:05Z")
PMs & email are cool with me. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/35 "2007-07-30T21:45:36Z")
[QUOTE=Necros] I have both my PMs enabled and email address posted. Heck, I even have my location and birthday in my profile. You people don’t scare me! 😉 [/QUOTE] Yeah, me too - I even have a link to my MySpace profile. And Doper who really wants to know me can do so with ease. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/36 "2007-07-30T22:03:23Z")
I don’t mind PMs or emails. One of the things needed, actually, to play mafia games on here is to have PMs enabled, but even before then, they were (for me). I don’t get many PMs that are sent first but I do get a lot returned and replied to that I send out (that being said, I don’t send many out either, but the few I have (mostly to past mafia players about my new game that started) have been replied back to very nicely). So PM away if you have anything. ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/37 "2007-07-30T22:05:01Z")
[QUOTE=FaerieBeth] I’ve had a grand total of one\* person PM me. It didn’t bother me at all, and I hope I was somewhat helpful in what they asked of me. I think I’ve had one\* person email me, as well, and I didn’t find that weird at all. - Yeah, one in about 4 years of membership. I’m just not all that popular. [/QUOTE] Same here, 1 email in 4 years. I was kinda excited. “Hey, I’m not invisible!”. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/38 "2007-07-30T23:03:12Z")
I wouldn’t enable the link, if I didn’t want people to email. I can always change the address if I need too. ---
**Author:** ![Beaucarnea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@Beaucarnea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beaucarnea)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/39 "2007-07-30T23:05:24Z")
Welcome mat is out. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707/40 "2007-07-30T23:20:14Z")
It has only happened a few times, but when it did, it was very nice. One person emailed me to let me know that they had noticed me and considered me to be a kind person. What a nice day brightener! How often do we get to hear nice things about us? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-mind-if-people-from-the-sdmb-you-dont-know-pm-you-or-e-mail-you/413707.md?page=3)