# Do you open the airlock? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 8, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852 "2015-12-08T21:18:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/21 "2015-12-08T23:30:38Z")
I jettison the inside Ramirez. Clearly, one is a maleficent doppelganger and three’s no sure way to tell which. Getting rid of both is the only sure way to secure the safety of the station and the rest of the crew. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/22 "2015-12-08T23:31:33Z")
Shoot them both. It’s the only way. ETA: Ninja’d! ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/23 "2015-12-09T00:52:07Z")
Ok, let’s change this up a bit, if i may, dear OP? What would you do in this exact same situation if you were the InsideRamirez? There is a banging outside and you see yourself begging Other Crewmember to let him in…? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/24 "2015-12-09T01:00:40Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Ok, let’s change this up a bit, if i may, dear OP? > > What would you do in this exact same situation if you were the InsideRamirez? There is a banging outside and you see yourself begging Other Crewmember to let him in…? I’d go screw myself. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/25 "2015-12-09T01:02:13Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > I’d go screw myself. So that’s a “let him in the airlock” then? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/26 "2015-12-09T02:40:16Z")
I would reverse the polarity on the airlock. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/27 "2015-12-09T05:44:32Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > . . . What would you do in this exact same situation if you were the InsideRamirez? . . . “This guy can’t possibly be me…but are we going to just let him die? What kind of message does that send to the shape-shifting aliens? Earthlings are so cruel, they’ll let people die rather than take them in? Real good. They’ll remember that, next time one of us needs rescuing. ‘You didn’t rescue our guy, why should we rescue yours?’” Let him in, whoever the hell he is. I don’t care if he’s space-Hitler, Darth Vitruvius, or Ming Von Sydow. We don’t refuse to rescue people, because that’s monstrous. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/28 "2015-12-09T06:25:28Z")
I’d ask Ramirez something only he would know… Like his wife’s favorite drink. But then I’d correct him and he’d realize I’d been sleeping with his wife. Then his pulse rate would quicken and his eyes would dilate and he’d take a swing at me, cursing like a sailor… while the other Ramirez would still be waxing philosophical about the wife’s beverage choices. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/29 "2015-12-09T07:35:56Z")
Detain inside Ramirez, then let outside Ramirez into the airlock, but not the ship. ---
**Author:** ![TheSpeculationElucidation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@TheSpeculationElucidation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSpeculationElucidation)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/30 "2015-12-09T07:47:26Z")
I would check and see if one of the space suits were missing. If the Ramirez that’s outside is the real one, he’d have his suit. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/31 "2015-12-09T08:30:41Z")
Commence the self-destruct initiation sequence. Because I’ve always wanted to do that. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/32 "2015-12-09T10:11:29Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Why, exactly, is inside Ramirez begging us not to open the hatch? What’s he/she afraid of? Yeah, this was my thought. I can see being confused, but the begging…:dubious: Anyway, I’m not likely to think it’s an alien of any sort since I think FTL is bogus. Am happy to let him in and sort things out. I mean, if all the guy outside _wanted_ to do was kill us/destroy the station, he could have done that from outside, there have to be enough valves/switches to do that out there. Accidental time travel is my favourite hypothesis, and in-station Ramirez is just paranoid and missing out on the only real reason to time-travel - making out with yourself ;). ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/33 "2015-12-09T12:43:58Z")
My background is as a sailor. You do everything you can to rescue a stranded person, regardless of who they may be. We are a civilized species (until you give us reason to nuke you from orbit). ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/34 "2015-12-09T13:37:33Z")
> [@TheSpeculationElucidation](#): > > I would check and see if one of the space suits were missing. If the Ramirez that’s outside is the real one, he’d have his suit. Brilliant. But I’m still gonna jettison Ramirez because he snores and his wife paid me $500before we left earth to do it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/35 "2015-12-09T13:42:07Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Haven’t you seen that [documentary](http://wheresthejump.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Invasion-of-the-Body-Snatchers-1-300x300.jpg)? No, but I’ve seen [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNQIdEv-Emo). ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/36 "2015-12-09T14:07:50Z")
You know that scientist guy in the movies who says “Don’t shoot! Just think of what we can learn from them!” just before the giant bug eats his head? Yeah, that’s me. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/37 "2015-12-09T14:16:07Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Anyway, I’m not likely to think it’s an alien of any sort since I think FTL is bogus. Yes, but so is time travel, travel between parallel universes, and secret space travel capabilities. Having a duplicate person turn up in space asking to be let in is just as impossible. Where did he come from? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/38 "2015-12-09T14:17:58Z")
I’ve seen movies. No way I open that airlock. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/39 "2015-12-09T14:48:10Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Yes, but so is time travel, Yeah, but _I_ don’t _internalize_ it as bogus, whereas I do of FTL. And it’s me who gets to choose, not a robot. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852/40 "2015-12-09T15:22:02Z")
Put me in as another vote for “both Ramirezes safe and secure”. Assuming the station has at least three airlocks, I want each of them in an airlock, with both outer and inner doors locked. The airlock I keep available is the one that can dock to the next manned craft scheduled to come up. As soon as that’s done, I radio to the ground for instructions. More specifically, if I’m American, I radio Russian ground control for instructions. If I’m Russian or Chinese, I radio the ESA, and if I’m European, I radio the Chinese ground control. Sorry, Houston, you’re out of the loop (assuming Ramirez is American. If he’s not, then whatever is his native ground control is out of the loop, instead). Immediately after that, before I even get a reply back from my international ground control of choice, I send a message using all of the broadest communications media at my disposal (ham radio, podcast, whatever they use to have live interviews with grade school students, etc.) detailing as much as I know, including (_especially_ including) which one is in which airlock. Oh, and I’d also send targeted messages to the NOAA, the LIGO science team, NORAD, and the SDSS science team, as any of them might conceivably have detected some evidence of time travel, warp drives, STL starship drives, or dimensional anomalies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-open-the-airlock/739852.md?page=3)