# Do you "prepare" for sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433 "2014-09-24T14:43:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/1 "2014-09-24T14:43:13Z")
Just like the title says - I’m interested to find out how much other dopers prep for sex and how much time it takes. The genesis of this curiosity is, of course, my own experience. Before sex, my husband usually wants to shower and shave first, which takes up to 45 minutes, by the end of which I’m generally halfway asleep. I’ve been doing the same thing, but given how flipping much time it takes, it’s a tad challenging to work up the anticipation after a long day at work (or, on weekends, running kids to and from events, grocery shopping, other errands), dealing with kids most of the night, cooking then cleaning and managing homework, then having to shower, shave my legs, change into fancy undies and only then - at last! - get to the good stuff. I appreciate the thought (and realize that he might be doing that to encourage me to shower, too), but holy monkeys, I’d rather just shower with him or simply get naked and jump on top of each other instead of making the whole affair such an event. It seems like if it weren’t so difficult to get started, we’d do the deed way more frequently, but I could be mistaken. So, Dopers, what do you do before sex? Anything? Poll to follow. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/2 "2014-09-24T15:06:42Z")
Get the kids to sleep. It’s an hours-long process, but well worth it. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/3 "2014-09-24T15:18:18Z")
the ropes and harnesses don’t get ready by themselves. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/4 "2014-09-24T15:22:30Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > the ropes and harnesses don’t get ready by themselves. Hah! What’s funny is that after I posted the poll, I was thinking about that. If you’re into BDSM, getting ready for sex may be way the hell more involved than I’m assuming it is. That may be a whole 'nother thread. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/5 "2014-09-24T15:35:02Z")
“Brace yourself darling.” ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/6 "2014-09-24T15:35:38Z")
45 minutes to shower and shave? Assuming I thought I needed to do that before sex, I’m sure I could get it done in five to ten minutes. That sounds like stalling. My wife insists on a shower before she will let me perform oral sex. Otherwise, unless we’re particularly gross, no prep necessary. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/7 "2014-09-24T15:41:10Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > 45 minutes to shower and shave? Yeah, I’m wondering what all is being shaved. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/8 "2014-09-24T15:44:29Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > So, Dopers, what do you do before sex? Ummm, hand over money. :o Just kidding! ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/9 "2014-09-24T15:48:14Z")
It depends on what’s going to happen. If it’s just mutual masturbation, yeah, let’s go at it. If anal is on the table, someone needs to have been eating salad for meals that day. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/10 "2014-09-24T15:53:22Z")
Does consumption of alcohol count? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/11 "2014-09-24T15:55:18Z")
The only must-have as far as hygiene goes is that my wife and I prefer to have relatively recently-brushed teeth. First thing in the morning sex is great but it’s either brush teeth first or rear entry. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/12 "2014-09-24T16:06:51Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > 45 minutes to shower and shave? Assuming I thought I needed to do that before sex, I’m sure I could get it done in five to ten minutes. That sounds like stalling. > > My wife insists on a shower before she will let me perform oral sex. Otherwise, unless we’re particularly gross, no prep necessary. It usually takes him 45 minutes to shower and shave, regardless of when he does it (before work, before lunch, whenever he manages to shower on the weekends). It makes me crazy since it takes me around 25 minutes. I can definitely understand showering pre-oral to freshen up, but as long as he’s showered at _some_ point that day, I don’t mind if he doesn’t bother. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/13 "2014-09-24T16:12:03Z")
I remain flabbergasted. If the prospect of sex doesn’t give you incentive to make haste in the shower, nothing will. If my wife said, “go shower and then let’s get it on,” my shower would be under five minutes. I can’t even imagine how I could stretch it to 15 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/14 "2014-09-24T16:13:17Z")
Well I have to pour the chloroform on a cloth and make sure no witnesses are in earshot… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/15 "2014-09-24T16:28:20Z")
We usually shower… But it takes 5 minutes. WTH is he doing in there? Soap body, rinse, go. I’m mystified. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/16 "2014-09-24T16:31:42Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > We usually shower… But it takes 5 minutes. WTH is he doing in there? Soap body, rinse, go. I’m mystified. This is one of the great mysteries of our marriage. 🙂 I’d say he might be masturbating, but that would usually translate to no sex. Maybe he’s taking a dump to clean out beforehand? I really wish I could un-think that. ---
**Author:** ![tullsterx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tullsterx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tullsterx)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/17 "2014-09-24T16:47:15Z")
Take a leak, make sure I don’t stink, wash hands, get to business. . . If I stink I might take a shower, but that’s not a standard practice. I chose “Something In-between” ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/18 "2014-09-24T16:47:57Z")
I use mouthwash. My husband usually uses mouthwash and sprays on cologne. We used to have spontaneous, no-preparation sex, but that was before the kid. It’s hard to feel spontaneous with a kid in the equation, even when she’s asleep. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/19 "2014-09-24T16:52:12Z")
[Waxing the Longboard.](http://livehealthy.chron.com/wax-longboard-3767.html) ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433/20 "2014-09-24T17:04:23Z")
I am always prepared for sex. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-prepare-for-sex/699433.md?page=2)