# "Do you read the Bible?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 17, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365 "2002-07-17T06:32:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/21 "2002-07-17T18:38:54Z")
Pity its illegal to beat people with baby jesus buttplugs. Where is the justice in our society? Won’t someone THINK OF THE CHILDREN! Please god think of the children! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/22 "2002-07-17T18:54:09Z")
Tell these people, “Jesus loves you-but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.” I think you should have said to the girl, “You whore of satan! Cover up!” Just to mess with their minds. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/23 "2002-07-17T19:57:27Z")
wooo! Thank you Eve! I am honored to be included in the apparent 4 horsepeople of the sdmb! 😉 A former fundie church I went to even said that that verse about guys with long hair didn’t really apply nowadays. Probably because they knew they’d lose any guys with long hair as members if they did! I guess they can then use the verse (I forget it, someone else can help me) where it talks about God being more concerned with the heart than the outward appearance.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/24 "2002-07-17T22:26:35Z")
\ **Darth Nader** –Your user name is my SDMB all-time favorite. Such a wonderful concatenation. “Luuuuuuuke! You must recyyyyyycle!” ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/25 "2002-07-17T22:44:51Z")
The only time I ever saw a Chick Tract in the wild was when an old lady handed me one with her credit card at J.C. Penny. I…uh…put it next to the register and then threw it away as soon as she’d left. ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/26 "2002-07-17T23:19:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ElwoodCuse \* > \*\*Does the church of Scientology have tracts? I say fight fire with fire. Tell the Christian fundies about space aliens and dianetics and stuff. \*\* LOL, no I don’t think the Co$ has tracts. Generally they try to avoid letting people know about Xenu and the space aliens and the DC-9s and all that Incident II stuff, otherwise nobody would ever join them in the first place. If they did have tracts, they’d probably be copyrighted up the wazzoo anyway, and you’d have to wear a “tm” symbol on your forehead handing them out. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/27 "2002-07-17T23:26:41Z")
My fiance has long hair, and he’s a Christian. We live in Toronto, so he doesn’t usually get hassled about it at church, but he’s getting good at ranting about social versus ethical laws. Next time, I’m hoping he’ll stare the jerk in the eye and say, “You’re wife over there, she isn’t wearing a veil. And her dress is low-cut. Do you realise SHE’S GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL?” No, he won’t. He’s too nice. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/28 "2002-07-18T00:24:46Z")
Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t most representations of Jesus have Him with long hair? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/29 "2002-07-18T00:28:01Z")
**Monty** -read the OP-the moron claimed they were made by Babylonian cults. :rolleyes: Of course, they forget Samson! ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/30 "2002-07-18T01:52:21Z")
You know, Guin; I keep forgetting what part the literalists take literally and what part the literalists don’t! ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/31 "2002-07-18T02:04:42Z")
Wait, is that **my** name being used in the same sentence as **zev\_steinhardt, Polycarp and Vanilla?** Holy S\*\*\*!! Oh, I mean, thank you **Eve** , I feel so honored 🙂 Just for the record, my SO had long hair when we got married, as almost all my male friends did at the time (some still) and many guys at my church have long hair. I don’t get this theory. I mean God made us (fundie belief here) with hair on our bodies, and that hair grows. So…? I just hope they don’t start talking about people who sing in bands with electric guitars and drums next :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/32 "2002-07-18T02:18:57Z")
“Pfff. All the best bands are affiliated with Satan.” –Bart Simpson ---
**Author:** ![SopranoRosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SopranoRosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SopranoRosa)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/33 "2002-07-18T05:17:10Z")
This topic always makes me think of a comment by Xian author Philip Yancey (in either _The Bible Jesus Read_ or _The Jesus I Never Knew_, I can’t remember which). He was talking about attending a Christian college where he was forbidden to have long hair or grow a beard. He said that every day the men on campus, under these rules, walked by a portrait of Jesus – with long hair and a full beard! On another note, even if most churches did believe that the old rules applied today (as vanilla mentioned, even some fundy ones do not), I’ve heard that what was “short” hair for men did not necessarily mean the 1950’s rule about not going below the ears, but rather it was almost shoulder length. This was still shorter than what the women in Paul’s day wore. But, alas, I can’t remember where I got that information (gee, I’m on fire tonight with sources! 😉 ), so take it with a grain of salt. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/34 "2002-07-18T10:02:37Z")
**Green Bean** – Thanks! **Holden** – I wish I could take credit for the pun… **Zev** – Good info there, that I might need soon, as: UPDATE: A VERY cute woman came up to me in the store tonight, around 11:30 pm. She flat-out hit on me, and now it seems I have a date with her Thursday night. Since she was wearing a tight red t-shirt with a skull and crossbones on it, had black hair with bright red streaks in in, and was sporting this WAY phallic pendant (“TOOL”, music I can listen to and not cringe), I’m either going to get laid, or have to use some of the info and help y’all have given me to get out of some sort of whack bible-study/brainwashing session. I’m just a sucker for black nail polish, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/35 "2002-07-18T10:29:46Z")
Remember, kids: Jesus was a pinko longhaired radical Jew! He was a heretic and a rabble-rouser, and he fought The Man! Hell, he even lived in a commune with a prostitute! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/36 "2002-07-18T13:35:09Z")
I should start wandering around downtown and see if I can pick up some more tracts. No one’s tried to convert me in a while… ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/37 "2002-07-18T16:46:12Z")
Derleth: Actually, I do believe Jesus was a radical! (the first yippie!) ha ha Darth: **I** like your username also; Guin can tell you why…😉 ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/38 "2002-07-18T21:00:08Z")
“Yes, but I don’t read anything into it.” ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/39 "2002-07-19T00:06:18Z")
“Do you read the Bible?” “No, I just look at the pretty pictures.” ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365/40 "2002-07-19T00:26:59Z")
“Do you read the Bible?” “No, but do you have one on you? I’m out of rolling papers.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-read-the-bible/119365.md?page=3)