# Do you "really" enjoy going out? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085 "2016-07-04T18:58:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/21 "2016-07-05T03:44:28Z")
I LOVED going out to the bar. I could be anything I wanted to be that night, I could do anything I wanted to do because hell, I was a drunk like all the rest. I liked the noise, the people, everything. Now I stay home as much as possible. That was a regrettable time in my life and, as it turns out, it was none of what I thought it was. Once I woke up to that I didn’t enjoy it even a little bit anymore. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/22 "2016-07-05T03:51:55Z")
I love going out. Whether it’s to a bar for drinks with friends, or a restaurant to have a nice meal. When I was younger, it was more often to a bar, and now it’s more often to a restaurant, but whenever possible, I like eating in the bar (if the restaurant has one). I’m pretty familiar with the staff at the restaurants I frequent, so it’s rare that I find myself in a strange place. Good food, good drink, and maybe some good companionship. What’s not to love? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/23 "2016-07-05T04:00:29Z")
Yes, I enjoy going out very much, to restaurants with friends or just to a bar. I probably go out six to eight times a month. While I generally prefer quieter places, if I’m going out with the right group of friends, I can even enjoy a crowded bar with loud music. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/24 "2016-07-05T04:09:16Z")
When I was younger it was fun. Now I am happily married, and the appeal is lost on me. I would so much rather stay home, save the money, and enjoy time with my wife and dogs or read internet postings on random stuff/read books/do cryptic crosswords/ etc etc. I am boring and I am at peace with that. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/25 "2016-07-05T04:23:35Z")
Going out to do what? I enjoy hanging out with friends. I enjoy going to a nice restaurant with my husband. I like to travel, and see stuff. I like to go out dancing with friends. But I’ve certainly found myself trapped at a party with not-especially-good-friends and caught myself looking at my watch and wondering when I can politely leave. But mostly, yes. I am “out” about half of my evenings, for one reason or another, and I wouldn’t do that if I didn’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/26 "2016-07-05T05:29:41Z")
I don’t drink so I don’t go to bars but I enjoy going out in general. Restaurants, people’s houses, events, whatever. The more I go out the more I can enjoy staying in and not feeling bad about it. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/27 "2016-07-05T06:28:21Z")
Not really, hence why I don’t do it very often except when on holidays. ---
**Author:** ![Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/les_espaces_du_sommeil/32/308_2.png) [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Les_Espaces_Du_Sommeil)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/28 "2016-07-05T07:30:37Z")
I’ve never enjoyed going out and now that I’m 41, it’s become something of a chore. Even back when I was single and, well, eager to score, I couldn’t be bothered to go out more than once or twice a week at most. And even then, I often had to force myself to go out. Frankly, nowadays there’s so much stuff that needs to be done around the house + work on weekdays, that I have little time and will to go out. Moreover, I get the most pleasure from things that can be done at home like reading, listening to music, playing guitar or cello (and soon piano, perhaps), doing computer stuff. The only things that can pique my interest are communal yard sales (but only the good ones maybe 1 out of 10, if that) and going to a concert or a museum. Occasionally, I’ll go out if there’s a big event, like National Day, but it’s mainly for my daughters. Apart from that, I’d rather stay at home, thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/29 "2016-07-05T08:30:58Z")
Hate going out, for any reason. Unless I can find some solitary space outside, like a secluded part of a park, I’d rather stay in all the time. I guess it’s minor social anxiety, though it just feels like valuing my solitude and wanting some peace and quiet. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/30 "2016-07-05T11:47:51Z")
If I didn’t enjoy “going out”, I wouldn’t. Full stop. I’m really pretty stingy with my free time and each year sees me less willing to do things I don’t want to do. I meet a bunch of friends at a bar after work on Mondays. On Wednesdays I go to a bar where a friend 'tends and hang out there. Thursday’s after work I run errands, then meet my gf for dinner somewhere, since Thursdays are her Fridays (she works a 4 day week). Friday’s after work I meet my gf at a bar and we unwind. We have a beautiful, peaceful farm and could justify spending every free minute here, but “going out” is fun! ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/31 "2016-07-05T11:50:19Z")
How loud is it going to be? If I have to shout to converse with my friends and face my ear to them to hear them rather than look at them, then I am not the slightest bit interested. If noise isn’t an issue, then I like going out, eating, hanging out with friends, could probably do it 3 nights a week happily. Parties…smaller quieter better, the bigger and noisier they get the less fun they will be. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/32 "2016-07-05T12:10:41Z")
Though it has started to shift in recent years, I think our culture, for a long time has exalted the extrovert. To that extent, a lot of people would go out more than they wanted to or even pretend to enjoy it when they really didn’t because they wanted to keep up the pretenses of being like everyone else. It’s this sort of social phenomenon where a whole group can end up agreeing on something that no one really wants to do just because everyone thinks everyone else wants to. That said, I think with the rise of the internet, services like Netflix, and just a general paradigm shift, people are finding it easier, both in terms of actually having entertainment at home, but also socially, to just stay in. Speaking for myself, I’m pretty introverted, but I still make a point of trying to go out roughly once a week. I’ve ALWAYS hated the bar/club scene, and I used to think I hated going out because that’s what I associated with it, but all it really means is just doing something outside the home. I can just go have a decent meal with a friend, which we can do at one of our homes just fine, but getting out, even if it’s just to have someone else cook for us is fine. Hell, even just seeing a film is going out, and I’m even perfectly comfortable doing that solo. Going out doesn’t HAVE to be a group activity. Of course, I still generally hate crowds, so even as much as I LOVE a good concert, those are exhausting and I tend to try to space those out. I really think, though, that if people HATE going out, it’s just that they’re either going out too much, doing the wrong things when they’re out, or likely both. Even for me, sometimes going out even once a week is just too much, but it shouldn’t be something one dreads. I still routinely turn down invitations to go to clubs or bars, but good company doing something we both actually enjoy, as long as I have the time and energy, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/33 "2016-07-05T12:16:14Z")
One of the reasons we enjoy where we live is that we can walk to restaurants, pubs, theater, interesting shopping, etc. We don’t go out every night, but it was a pretty big factor in choosing where we live. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/34 "2016-07-05T12:41:15Z")
Sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/35 "2016-07-05T13:01:13Z")
I love going out. People-watching is one of my hobbies. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/36 "2016-07-05T13:41:11Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Same here. For example, I had accepted an invitation to go to a karaoke bar with some friends Friday night. As the day approached, I really wasn’t into it not to mention that I can’t sing a note on key and I’m incredibly self-conscious about it. > Almost cancelled, but so many other people cancelled that I felt I had to go. And I was the first of my friends to arrive and I came close to walking out. And everyone was singing recent pop stuff that I had never heard of. And all these people could sing on key. And there was some kind of app that let everyone in the bar rate the performances. > But then we got going, and I picked fun songs and just belted them ( yelled the lyrics basically )with a lot of gestures and emoting. And people I didn’t even know we’re digging it, big time, and I got really great scores. I had the best time I’ve had in a long time and I will go back again soon- even if I go alone. > > And pretty much the same thing happened when I went to my high school reunion, thought I was going to be bored ( since no one I really knew was going) but I had a really great time and made lots of new friends. I always end up having fun when I go out so I’ve learned just to ignore the “why am I doing this, I’m going to hate it, I don’t wanna go” thoughts that fill my head as I get ready. “Got really great scores?” That’s not what karaoke is about. It’s for everyday joes to just have some fun. Nobody’s supposed to be judging anyone’s performance. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/37 "2016-07-05T13:48:54Z")
There are a lot of things I love to go out and do. Concerts, plays, art shows, some parties, pub trivia, going to restaurants or bars. I’m living in the 4th largest city in the US because it has so many choices of what to go out and do. There are some weeks I’m out almost every night, and some weeks that I’m in every night, it varies. > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I generally enjoy going out. > > However, I usually don’t enjoy anticipating going out. > > In other words, I almost always enjoy myself more than I think I will. > > I accept that now, and hence go out more willingly than I used to. This is me to some extent. There are some events I look forward to and am excited about going to, and there are some where I’m more nervous about and tempted to stay home, and some other ones where I had been more excited but when the time actually comes I’m tired or just wanting to watch Netflix. But usually if I actually go out, I’ll end up enjoying myself. > [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > I really think, though, that if people HATE going out, it’s just that they’re either going out too much, doing the wrong things when they’re out, or likely both. Even for me, sometimes going out even once a week is just too much, but it shouldn’t be something one dreads. I still routinely turn down invitations to go to clubs or bars, but good company doing something we both actually enjoy, as long as I have the time and energy, yeah. I agree. If you hate going out to loud noisy bars, then you’re probably going to the wrong bars and might enjoy some quieter ones where you can chat with friends. With Google and Yelp it’s become a lot easier to research places and see if a place is a college party bar or a friendly neighborhood bar. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/38 "2016-07-05T14:19:24Z")
At age 55, I find myself more “content” staying home, and less interested in tolerating crowds and traffic. Traffic around Chicago just sucks so much of the time. I have really narrowed the types of things I am willing to sit in traffic for. Also, I don’t drink, and food isn’t so important to me that I’m eager to spend the time and money to go to restaurants that will involve distance and waiting. I also tend to prefer going to bed relatively early, and waking relatively early, and so much of “going out” seems to happen late. Heck, I even found my favorite weekly bluegrass jam which takes place at 7 a.m. on Saturdays. I like making and listening to bluegrass/folk music, golfing, and socializing with a relatively short list of close friends and family. I will readily do those if they do not involve lengthy travel through difficult traffic. Perhaps my favorite “going out” is enjoying the outdoors - taking a hike or bike ride. When planning those, I try to do so at times or on dates the destinations are most likely to be uncrowded. I also enjoy attending interesting talks/presentations. Some time ago, we developed a preference for seeing shows/talks/sporting events at the local suburban community colleges and even high schools, instead of going thru the planning, expense, and hassle of attending the pro events in Chicago. What really bugs me is when I’m too lazy or apathetic to attend something that is clearly within my preferred sphere. When the stars align, I try to make the effort to get my ass off the couch and out of the house. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/39 "2016-07-05T15:30:17Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > Though it has started to shift in recent years, I think our culture, for a long time has exalted the extrovert. To that extent, a lot of people would go out more than they wanted to or even pretend to enjoy it when they really didn’t because they wanted to keep up the pretenses of being like everyone else. It’s this sort of social phenomenon where a whole group can end up agreeing on something that no one really wants to do just because everyone thinks everyone else wants to. That said, I think with the rise of the internet, services like Netflix, and just a general paradigm shift, people are finding it easier, both in terms of actually having entertainment at home, but also socially, to just stay in. I think, by definition, introverts would rather not be “exalted”. Personally, even with all that entertainment, I would rather not spend my days sitting in my apartment not interacting with other people. I’m certainly guilty of binge-watching my favorite shows or getting sucked into a videogame for hours at a time. But videogames, TV and movies are fake experiences. I wouldn’t want all my favorite memories to be a series of videogame interactions or Game of Thrones plot twists. That said, I also think there’s a balance between a couple of nights of “epic partying” and a lifetime of wallowing in bars with a bunch of drunks getting shitfaced. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2016, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085/40 "2016-07-05T16:19:04Z")
Some great responses here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-enjoy-going-out/759085.md?page=3)