# Do you really pray when you say "You're in my prayers"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 18, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055 "2013-04-18T18:47:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/41 "2013-04-19T22:53:24Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I mean, when you heard about the Boston Marathon and you thought/said, “They’ll be in my prayers”, did you really get down on your knees that day and say, “God, please bless the runners.” > > When someone dies and you say “You’ll be in my prayers,” do you really kneel by your bed and say, “God, please protect my friend.” > > When you find out someone is non-Christian, do you really kneel and say “Please guide my atheist/Hindu/Buddhist friend to Christianity?” Yes Yes I do not pray for the conversion of specific individuals, but I do offer a general prayer that everyone will get to know how much joy Jesus Christ can offer them. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/42 "2013-04-20T04:33:33Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > But there is a convent I visit often, whose nuns have “Nava’s internet friends” in their prayer list: other people ask them to pray for their family; since my family was already in their list, I added you guys. That is very sweet (and I say that as an atheist). ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/43 "2013-04-20T05:22:55Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I’m agnostic and don’t pray or tell people I’ll pray for them, but the rare times someone asks me to pray for them and I agree to, I do say a quick prayer. That’s probably kind of weird. I’m an atheist so I’ve never told anyone they’re in my prayers. I’ve never had anyone ask me to pray for them. The last time I asked to say any kind of prayer was at my grandmother’s funeral, and I declined. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/44 "2013-04-20T05:43:18Z")
I try to although sadly I don’t pray often or regularly. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/45 "2013-04-20T11:10:46Z")
I’m curious about the mechanism. I really sincerely am not being snarky or trying to start a Great Debate. But for example, when you are praying for a sick person, do you really believe that God would care less for someone because fewer people or no one was praying for them? I can see how knowledge that he/friend/loved one was being prayed for might help morally support a believer, and I can see how it might help the actual person who is praying, but I still don’t quite understand what the you actually believe you are doing when you asking God for something. Am I thinking too literal? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/46 "2013-04-20T12:09:16Z")
Often someone will ask me to pray for them, but I just forget if I don’t do it right then. I’m very absent-minded. I don’t kneel now, but I did when I was in my teens and when I was an Anglican. I’m more likely to pray sitting in my front porch swing drinking a Lemoncello. As for the Boston Marathon runners, the man who fell down after being hit with a flying piece of something white got my attention quickly and I felt empathy with him – and concern for his welfare. In a way, that’s a kind of praying for me. I thought about a friend who has a son at Harvard and resolved to call and check with her. I was praying for Suspect #2 – just a brief prayer when he was in the boat. The words, “It’s over!” came during that moment and that was meaningful to me. I grieved for the little boy who died. In one photo he was holding a poster he had made. It read something like, “No more hurting others. Peace.” I pray short prayers to forgive the members of my family who are mistreating me. I’m not getting there yet. When I pray, I just talk silently – sometimes as if I just talking with another friend. I try to remember that “All things work together for the good.” And I do believe that in most circumstances. I don’t pray for someone’s conversion. I too believe that like the Hindus that all have a path to God or enlightenment. > [@](#): > > When someone dies and you say “You’ll be in my prayers,” do you really kneel by your bed and say, “God, please protect my friend.” Not only do I pray for the families that I know who have lost someone, I often pray for members of my family who are deceased. I think of my old list from childhood of aunts and uncles. And sometimes I just talk to them silently. Before my surgery for lung cancer, my minister held my hand and said a prayer. I just remember how soothing his voice was. He’s cool. Then when I was rolled in from the hallway into surgery, I said silently, “Now I lay me down to sleep…” from childhood. This sounds like I pray a lot, but it’s just little moments through the day. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing anything for anyone besides myself. But it’s peaceful for me. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/47 "2013-04-20T12:22:07Z")
We lived on a highway when I was a child. If I couldn’t sleep at night, I would listen for cars passing on the highway and pray for the person or people in the car. That also made me feel peaceful. It was a little like counting sheep. > [@](#): > > **Pookah** : …but I still don’t quite understand what the you actually believe you are doing when you asking God for something. In a way, when I ask for something, it’s like my own version of “Give us this day, our daily bread.” Only I ask for things like protection and a return to health. One of my older friends, when she was very ill, asked me to pray for strength and healing for her. That’s all she asked and I still do that. I usually try to end my prayers by surrendering to the will of God: “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done.” ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/48 "2013-04-20T13:19:03Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I mean, when you heard about the Boston Marathon and you thought/said, “They’ll be in my prayers”, did you really get down on your knees that day and say, “God, please bless the runners.” > > When someone dies and you say “You’ll be in my prayers,” do you really kneel by your bed and say, “God, please protect my friend.” > > When you find out someone is non-Christian, do you really kneel and say “Please guide my atheist/Hindu/Buddhist friend to Christianity?” > > Does anyone? When I was a Catholic, I certainly did pray for others to get well, pass exams, etc. Well I didn’t kneel at the side of my bed. I never prayed that they would convert to Catholicism. I’m from Pakistan, many of my friends are Muslims. I see lots of postings on Facebook from Muslims asking people to remember their ailing family in their prayers and many others promising to do so. Having lived a good amount of my life in Kansas, I see lots of evangelical Christian friends do the same. Plus the odd Hindu and Parsi as well. I never imagined any of them praying for anything but the health of the person. I certainly can’t imagine that they would be praying for the conversion of the person instead. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/49 "2013-04-20T15:34:03Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > I’m curious about the mechanism. I really sincerely am not being snarky or trying to start a Great Debate. But for example, when you are praying for a sick person, do you really believe that God would care less for someone because fewer people or no one was praying for them? > > I can see how knowledge that he/friend/loved one was being prayed for might help morally support a believer, and I can see how it might help the actual person who is praying, but I still don’t quite understand what the you actually believe you are doing when you asking God for something. It’s a reasonable question, but I don’t think anyone knows the answer—I certainly don’t claim to. If I pray for a particular sick person to be healed or comforted, and they do get better, I don’t know how, or whether, my prayers contributed to that. I do believe it could have, but I don’t understand the “mechanism.” And I don’t think God _cares_ less for someone with fewer or no people praying for them. But if God can allow a person to benefit (or not benefit) from people visiting them or giving them medical attention or doing other things for them (or not doing such things), God can allow the person to benefit from people praying for them. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/50 "2013-04-21T00:46:25Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > I’m curious about the mechanism. I really sincerely am not being snarky or trying to start a Great Debate. But for example, when you are praying for a sick person, do you really believe that God would care less for someone because fewer people or no one was praying for them? > > I can see how knowledge that he/friend/loved one was being prayed for might help morally support a believer, and I can see how it might help the actual person who is praying, but I still don’t quite understand what the you actually believe you are doing when you asking God for something. We are acknowledging that He is watching over everything and has us in His care. We are acknowledging that He is the source of everything and cares about what is going on with us. We are asking for the strength to endure troubles no matter what the outcome (and as Zoe says, His will be done and not ours). ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/51 "2013-04-21T02:00:05Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > I’m an atheist so I’ve never told anyone they’re in my prayers. I’ve never had anyone ask me to pray for them. The last time I asked to say any kind of prayer was at my grandmother’s funeral, and I declined. But if someone did ask you, what would you say? When, as happened recently, someone just lost a loved one and asked me to pray for him, I couldn’t see saying no, I don’t pray. I wanted him to be comforted and saying that would just do the opposite of comforting him, so I said I would. It was not an appropriate time to discuss my religious beliefs or lack thereof. But if someone asked me to pray for some bullshit like for God to help them find their keys (and I have known people who pray for such things) I would tell them (in maybe or maybe not nicer words) to fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/52 "2013-04-21T03:46:10Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > I do not pray for the conversion of specific individuals, but I do offer a general prayer that everyone will get to know how much joy Jesus Christ can offer them. For the most part everyone already knows. Qualitatively speaking, of course. Quantitatively, I’m not sure if a unit of measure has been established. Megagrins? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/53 "2013-04-22T11:10:57Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I mean, when you heard about the Boston Marathon and you thought/said, “They’ll be in my prayers”, did you really get down on your knees that day and say, “God, please bless the runners.” > > When someone dies and you say “You’ll be in my prayers,” do you really kneel by your bed and say, “God, please protect my friend.” > > When you find out someone is non-Christian, do you really kneel and say “Please guide my atheist/Hindu/Buddhist friend to Christianity?” > > Does anyone? Like those upthread, I don’t hit my knees at night. I say a quiet prayer right then or just as I leave the person I say that to. I keep that person or request in my prayers for a while. I pray anytime, anywhere. Probably not as often as I should, though. (My Catholic guilt is coming through there. I was raised Catholic and now worship in a Lutheran church.) As for conversions, I don’t pray for that and I don’t bring it up in conversations. I find that awkward. When evangelists (usually Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses) come ringing the door bell, I tell them briefly about my faith and church – more to let them know that I am churched and not seeking, so don’t waste your time with the spiel – and I wish them well on their work. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/54 "2013-04-22T14:44:54Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > I’m curious about the mechanism. I really sincerely am not being snarky or trying to start a Great Debate. But for example, when you are praying for a sick person, do you really believe that God would care less for someone because fewer people or no one was praying for them? > > I can see how knowledge that he/friend/loved one was being prayed for might help morally support a believer, and I can see how it might help the actual person who is praying, but I still don’t quite understand what the you actually believe you are doing when you asking God for something. > > Am I thinking too literal? I try to keep in mind a lesson learned from my BFF’s mother: “when I light a candle before my children’s exams, I’m not asking for the ceiling to open and the Holy Ghost to come whisper in their ears answers they haven’t learned; I’m asking that they don’t get so nervous they forget what they do know, and that the teacher won’t have a toothache while grading”. The telling someone who has asked me to pray that I will is to make them feel better; the including them in my meditation/prayer is to make me feel better, and maybe to come up with more-practical ways in which I can help them; and hey, if there really is a big fairy in the sky and they’re listening, I’d like Him to send this person the best possible mindset to get through whatever their current problem is kthxbye. I have this mental image of God as being somewhat like a housewife, who will go on cleaning and feeding and bathing and… no matter what, but who also appreciates it when her family says “please” and “thank you”. Praying for someone is the “please” part. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/55 "2013-04-23T01:37:30Z")
Yes I do. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/56 "2013-04-25T23:41:36Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > How are you on bald-faced whoppers? Because I’m going to continue until someone is self-righteous enough to explain the harm in my lies. I just would not particularly want to be friends with you. If it would cost you little to tell the truth, and you still don’t, then I don’t know if I can trust you on anything else. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/57 "2013-04-25T23:50:51Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > But if someone did ask you, what would you say? When, as happened recently, someone just lost a loved one and asked me to pray for him, I couldn’t see saying no,… I dunno; I guess I’d say something polite like “you’ll be in my thoughts”, but if pressed let’s just say I have a habit of being too blunt for my own good. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/58 "2013-04-26T01:17:27Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I just would not particularly want to be friends with you. If it would cost you little to tell the truth, and you still don’t, then I don’t know if I can trust you oen anything else. It costs the Christian tasked with fretting over my soul much more than it would cost me to be contrary. My lack of belief just isn’t as important as respecting the wishes and feelings of a friend. ---
**Author:** ![Saraya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Saraya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saraya)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055/59 "2013-04-26T13:15:36Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I have never heard anyone but Christians say they will pray for other people. Maybe other religions do it, but I’ve never heard of it. > > Hindus certainly don’t pray for other people, for example. All moral and just paths lead to God, so what would be the point? I’m fairly confident in saying I’ve heard non Christians or non observing Christians, use this phase as well. Whether they mean it is another thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-really-pray-when-you-say-youre-in-my-prayers/656055.md?page=2)