# Do you regret having kids?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-regret-having-kids/554065>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 17, 2010, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-regret-having-kids/554065 "2010-09-17T11:38:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 82

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**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\
**Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-regret-having-kids/554065/82 "2010-09-20T18:14:33Z")

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Quoting myself from [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=9215661#post9215661):

> [@I wonder how many people secretly despise their kids?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-wonder-how-many-people-secretly-despise-their-kids/427619/71):
>
> I’m the lone voice of dissent again. Don’t bother flaming me, because on this topic I am immune…I already know I was a crap parent.
> 
> I wish I’d never had my kids. I care about my kids, and I like my oldest daughter as a person now that she’s 24; that was a hard row to hoe considering some of the crap she pulled as a teenager. I do not like my younger daughter, who is 23 and has a kid of her own now. She is just an unpleasant individual.
> 
> I resent missed chances, but realize that the chances I missed where due to choices I made…I don’t blame my kids for the piss-poor decision-making process I used in my youth. I shoulder the blame for all that.
> 
> I’ve never really liked kids in general. I didn’t want kids to begin with. I did not enjoy raising my kids. I put forth my best effort, because I believe in doing a good job. My kids know that I didn’t plan to have them (because not very many plan to have kids when they are 16/17), but if they know that I never really liked being a parent it’s not because I told them “I hate you and wish I’d never had you”. Rather it would be because they, like most people, can figure out when someone isn’t enjoying a project, and parenthood is one long project.
> 
> I’m not saying there weren’t any good times. We had a couple of enjoyable vacations, the kids participated in activities they enjoyed, sometimes my kids cracked me up. But if I could have convinced myself that their father would have been a better parent than I, he would have got the kids and I would have walked away and been the absent parent that sends cards and swooshes in with the cool gifts at Christmas.
> 
> Now I have a grandson. I love this kid. I don’t know why. Unfortunately, his mom is not a good parent. She treats him like a pet or accessory. And I feel responsible for her bad parenting and the crappy life I think that my grandson may end up having.
> 
> I think it takes more work to raise a kid than many people are actually willing to put in. I think that even though I did the best I could at the time, I was a shitty parent. I’m trying to be a better grandparent.

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