# Do you remember the mini-est rant of September?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [September 1, 2014, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117 "2014-09-01T06:04:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 9

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/161 "2014-09-11T15:26:00Z")

</div>

I may have been the one ranting about the same thing before, **mhendo** , since we have the same at my office, but someone here suggested placing a single square of TP over the sensor, and then you can grunt and squirm to your, uh, \*\*\*heart’s \*\*\*content.

In the meantime, consider it a series of courtesy flushes. 😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/162 "2014-09-11T15:43:41Z")

</div>

Dear Fucking Asshole Writing Client,

I occasionally write crap to make some money. It is crap. Do you know WHY is it is crap? Because, you cheap prick, you want to pay almost nothing for it. When you offer five bucks for four hundred words, you are going to get crap. Four hundred well written words requires at least an hour to create. You aren’t going get any decent writer to spend an hour writing for you on a boring topic for far less than minimum wage. When you send something back whining that it isn’t perfect copy, you can go to to hell. Writers are not your fucking slaves. Hire a fucking copywriter, pay them a decent wage and stop trying to get skilled labor for pennies.

Best,

Wishing you a Lousy Day

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/163 "2014-09-11T16:27:16Z")

</div>

I was considering making this its own thread, but I don’t really want the shitstorm I think it will cause.

Patriot’s Day is a stupid fucking thing to call 9/11. Why can’t we call it “First Responder’s Day” or something like that? This is not in any way to diminish the tragedy of those who died who were not first responders, but I think it would be a much better use of our time if we’re going to “celebrate” something. I’d vote for calling it Remembrance Day, but that’s already taken.

It was a horrible, horrible day, and I know I will always remember where I was when I heard, but I don’t think turning it into a holiday celebrating the right-wing definition of patriotism is the right way to go.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/164 "2014-09-11T16:34:20Z")

</div>

> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> Damned true. Especially when, if I recall correctly, her mom has a history of making such deliberately hurtful remarks.

My Mom was not trying to say anything deliberately hurtful, but I was annoyed because less than 24 hours prior to posting this we had a conversation where I stated pretty explicitly where I stood on the subject. But she has been more than understanding throughout most of this. My problem is not with her, but with the general problem I’m encountering in finding resources for people who don’t believe in God.

> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> I was all :dubious: 😕 :eek: :dubious: and I believe my response was, “But my husband just died; people should be NICE to me!” and she just patted me on the shoulder.

All things considered, I’ve been pretty lucky. The worst thing so far was said to my husband, not to me. The day we found out the baby had no heartbeat, my husband got violently ill that evening. A friend (who has otherwise been fantastic) looked at him and said, ''Are you trying to get some attention too?"

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/165 "2014-09-11T16:37:12Z")

</div>

> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> Dear Fucking Asshole Writing Client,
> 
> I occasionally write crap to make some money. It is crap. Do you know WHY is it is crap? Because, you cheap prick, you want to pay almost nothing for it. When you offer five bucks for four hundred words, you are going to get crap. Four hundred well written words requires at least an hour to create. You aren’t going get any decent writer to spend an hour writing for you on a boring topic for far less than minimum wage. When you send something back whining that it isn’t perfect copy, you can go to to hell. Writers are not your fucking slaves. Hire a fucking copywriter, pay them a decent wage and stop trying to get skilled labor for pennies.
> 
> Best,
> 
> Wishing you a Lousy Day

Did you outright tell him this? Because I would. ‘‘Currently you’re paying me less than minimum wage. If you want me to invest more time in this project, you’re going to have to pay me more. Cheers!’’

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/166 "2014-09-11T16:41:51Z")

</div>

You may just have to resign yourself to people being assholes. My SIL married my husband’s abusive brother. At one point she told me just adopt during our struggles. She has four kids with him and finally left the guy after one too many bouts of dealing with his physical and verbal abuse. It was all I could not to tell her to her that at least I wasn’t deliberately breeding with a jackass.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/167 "2014-09-11T16:44:30Z")

</div>

> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> You may just have to resign yourself to people being assholes.

This might be construed as sound advice for life in general.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/168 "2014-09-11T16:46:05Z")

</div>

> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> Did you outright tell him this? Because I would. ‘‘Currently you’re paying me less than minimum wage. If you want me to invest more time in this project, you’re going to have to pay me more. Cheers!’’

I sent him a very polite note. Am waiting to hear back but it does not matter as I have blocked his ass from my client list. There’s nothing wrong with a Mickey D’s meal but you’d better not go there whining you’re not being served the finest kobe beef fillet and dauphinoise potatoes.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/169 "2014-09-11T16:53:59Z")

</div>

> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> I sent him a very polite note. Am waiting to hear back but it does not matter as I have blocked his ass from my client list. There’s nothing wrong with a Mickey D’s meal but you’d better not go there whining you’re not being served the finest kobe beef fillet and dauphinoise potatoes.

This is relevant to me because I’m just about to break into the world of contracted writing. I plan to write mostly grants for non-profits, but I’ll really take anything where I get to write. I recently offered to help a friend with a workshop application for free, and my husband told me from now on I should charge for whatever I do, even if it’s just a small amount of money, because that’s the difference between amateurs and professionals. I wonder how often free-lance writers underestimate their own value.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/170 "2014-09-11T16:58:07Z")

</div>

> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> This is relevant to me because I’m just about to break into the world of contracted writing. I plan to write mostly grants for non-profits, but I’ll really take anything where I get to write. I recently offered to help a friend with a workshop application for free, and my husband told me from now on I should charge for whatever I do, even if it’s just a small amount of money, because that’s the difference between amateurs and professionals. I wonder how often free-lance writers underestimate their own value.

You have experience. Charge at least $25 an hour. My writing time is limited because of other commitments. I can’t promise something for someone a week from now because of various limiting factors. I am trying to get together a book proposal for another book but I’m going to ask for a lead time of at least a year.

Good luck.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/171 "2014-09-11T17:24:50Z")

</div>

> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> . A friend (who has otherwise been fantastic) looked at him and said, ''Are you trying to get some attention too?"

Is this person still a friend? Because that sort of comment to me or someone I loved would be napalm on the relationship.

If nothing else, I hope they at least apologized profusely for their asshattery.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/172 "2014-09-11T17:43:20Z")

</div>

My daughter’s idiot ped did not fax her vax records as requested. So the school nurse calls me up and starts explaining to me how important it is to make sure she’s fully vaccinated.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/173 "2014-09-11T18:19:41Z")

</div>

> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> My daughter’s idiot ped did not fax her vax records as requested. So the school nurse calls me up and starts explaining to me how important it is to make sure she’s fully vaccinated.

HA!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/174 "2014-09-11T18:26:52Z")

</div>

> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, **Spice Weasel**. if Facebook is more painful than comforting to you right now, maybe you could consider giving yourself a break from it for a while.
> 
> We can take up the slack for you. Peace.

That’s fair. I think it’s all in how I choose to look at things. Facebook has been 90% a lifesaver. I have had more support than I could have ever hoped going through something like this. I have my moments of frustration and feeling alone, but overall I am lucky.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/175 "2014-09-11T19:34:44Z")

</div>

> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> This is relevant to me because I’m just about to break into the world of contracted writing. I plan to write mostly grants for non-profits, but I’ll really take anything where I get to write. I recently offered to help a friend with a workshop application for free, and my husband told me from now on I should charge for whatever I do, even if it’s just a small amount of money, because that’s the difference between amateurs and professionals. I wonder how often free-lance writers underestimate their own value.

Word. The Other Shoe’s mother makes bee-yah-\*yootiful _jewelry, mostly necklaces. I helped her set up an oh, God, the shame Excel spreadsheet for her expenses to help her track what she should charge. I had to explain to her that the cost of a piece shouldn’t just cover the costs of the materials, that **she has to pay herself too**. Some of those things took her_ hours, even days, to make

- I wonder if she went back to it. She took a giant hiatus when TOS got sick, and I don’t know if she ever got back in that particular saddle. But she should … for all her faults and weirdness, the woman has some serious talent when it comes to jewelry design. To this day, my favorite necklaces are the ones she made, but they’re hard for me to wear sometimes. On the other hand, she could name the country where each bead was made, and used things like beads made from reptile vertebrae, beans, etc. Lovely stuff.

> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> My daughter’s idiot ped did not fax her vax records as requested. So the school nurse calls me up and starts explaining to me how important it is to make sure she’s fully vaccinated.

I LOL’d only because I recognized the poster name, and her … ah … proclivities.

Oh, speaking of: I survived the 1st-year anniversary of TOS’s death. I did not, however, call his parents. So I pit myself for not having balls (ovaries?) and for tearing up just typing this out.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/176 "2014-09-11T20:32:05Z")

</div>

Oh, man **SpiceWeasel**. I get it. I really do. My BFF lost her brother Saturday night to leukemia. BFF had spent the past several weeks taking care of him in her home, with help from hospice, and it had been just the hardest thing she’s ever done - far harder than her own fight with cancer, harder than losing her mother and her grandmother. This was her baby brother, and now he’s gone, and she’s predictably a mess.

Everyone who knows her knows that my best friend is quite explicitly non-Christian, but that doesn’t stop them from saying all of the stupid shit: “It’s God’s plan,” “He’s in a better place now,” blah blah blah. My poor friend called me just last night, in hysterics. Her surviving siblings and birth mother had planned to be at Friend’s place until the end of the week, but Friend finally had to send them home yesterday - she couldn’t stand another platitude about better places and God and angels and shit. She’s emotionally wrung-out, and felt like the worst person in the world for finally putting her foot down and making the whole mess of idiots just leave.

I did the only thing I could: Bought beer, built a bonfire in the back yard, and made my husband play designated driver so that we could get shit-faced and talk or just sit around looking at the fire. We did a lot of the latter, but it was calm and good.

(When my own sister died, I heard a lot of this shite myself, but I don’t discuss my religion or lack of it with most folks. I still wanted to slap people, but I didn’t really hold it against them when they spoke to me in terms of something I don’t believe in.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/177 "2014-09-11T21:13:20Z")

</div>

> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> Oh, speaking of: I survived the 1st-year anniversary of TOS’s death. I did not, however, call his parents. So I pit myself for not having balls (ovaries?) and for tearing up just typing this out.

Do you think you could risk an email apologizing for not being able to face a conversation, but letting them know they’re in our thoughts?\*

TOS’s mother might even appreciate a small mention that you remember her jewelry-making endeavors fondly.  
\*If not, don’t worry about it, of course. The only Pitting you’re gonna get for that here is the one you hand out.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/178 "2014-09-11T21:32:33Z")

</div>

They don’t know about you. He did (and even knew **flatlined** by name 😃 ) and that’s good enough for me. I think I will email, though, and thanks for the nudge. I wanted to SlyDial them, to leave a message on their voicemail, but couldn’t even do that – they don’t need to hear me cry, I’m sure they’re doing enough of that themselves.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/179 "2014-09-11T21:50:48Z")

</div>

> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> They don’t know about you. He did (and even knew **flatlined** by name 😃 ) and that’s good enough for me.

This had me all 😕 for a bit.

Until I more carefully reread this:

> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Do you think you could risk an email apologizing for not being able to face a conversation, but letting them know they’re in **our** thoughts?\*

“Your” thoughts, dear. **Your** thoughts. :smack:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117/180 "2014-09-12T02:06:59Z")

</div>

> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> Oh, speaking of: I survived the 1st-year anniversary of TOS’s death. I did not, however, call his parents. So I pit myself for not having balls (ovaries?) and for tearing up just typing this out.

My etiquette books indicate that it is ok to contact the other person within a week ahead or behind of any important date. They also indicate that, while in this case it would be the parents who should call, it is perfectly gracious of the widow to be the one doing it, preferably when she’s feeling moderately solid.

Miss Manners may vary, but fuck that shit.

> [@Chimera](#):
>
> “Everything happens for a reason” is a completely fucking stupid assed thing to say to anyone who is hurting, not to mention that it is patently false.

Actually, it’s not false, it’s misused in such a way as to be backwards.

“Everything happens for a reason” is, strictly speaking, cause and effect. Sometimes we know the effect without knowing the cause, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t one; of course there was one (or several), but we don’t know them. I’m remembering my Stats teacher definition of randomness as “the measure of our ignorance: when we don’t know why something happens, we call it ‘random’”.

But what people mean is “everything happens because it is needed in order for something else to happen” or “it has all been preordained”. And this is people who are supposed to believe in free will… ok, lady, if everything has been preordained, then we’re none of us responsible for our actions: nobody should say “thank you” or berate someone else because, hey, it was preordained!

Ahem.

My apologies, big pet peeve, gets its own soapbox and everything…

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117.md?page=8)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-remember-the-mini-est-rant-of-september/697117.md?page=10)
