# Do you say grace? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764 "2010-11-15T19:17:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/41 "2010-11-16T21:56:30Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Sitting quietly while looking around is the best I can do, please don’t ask me to hold hands. That’s what I do. For a huge part of my life I would “play along” thinking that I was being respectful of others. But I think it is really more condescension, really. Also, looking around it is amazing how many others are also looking around! ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/42 "2010-11-16T22:03:09Z")
I voted that I’ll play along. And by play along I mean I’ll just keep my mouth shut and show respect while others are doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/43 "2010-11-16T22:08:47Z")
We say grace before dinner at home. These are usually short songs or a prayer. I participate in pre-meal rituals with people from other faiths as well, and enjoy it. Typically this is with Jewish friends who invite us over for various holiday meals with attendant rituals. I participate in the readings, and the discussions. For the bigger holidays, we do a longer prayer as opposed to a formulaic memorized grace ritual. For Thanksgiving I will have 25+ people standing and holding hands for the prayer before the meal is served. It will be unabashedly Christian; though Jewish, agnostic and atheist friends will be in attendance. They know our faith, they know our beliefs, and putting up with my prayer is the price (plus a side dish and a bottle of wine) of admission. Either my prayer is not too bad, or my cooking is just that good. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/44 "2010-11-16T22:11:16Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > That’s what I do. For a huge part of my life I would “play along” thinking that I was being respectful of others. But I think it is really more condescension, really. > > Also, looking around it is amazing how many others are also looking around! If I catch somebody else looking around I wink. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/45 "2010-11-17T01:00:21Z")
My family did when I was a kid and now I rarely do, although of course I respect it when people I’m eating with do. I would have checked a third box: I do, sometimes, particularly at significant occasions like when I have people over for a religious holiday. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/46 "2010-11-17T02:10:27Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > My family did when I was a kid and now I rarely do, although of course I respect it when people I’m eating with do. I would have checked a third box: I do, sometimes, particularly at significant occasions like when I have people over for a religious holiday. Well, now I don’t have to type our my own response…this is exactly what I was going to say. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/47 "2010-11-17T02:31:19Z")
A few more details: - With my family, we mostly sang grace; we had two songs in particular, one of which turned out to be a variant on a chorus of a somewhat obscure hymn. - We pretty much dropped grace after I converted to Paganism. We had a few half-hearted attempts to revive it after Dad died, but this didn’t lead to anything. - We had spoken grace before dinner with the extended family, naturally enough as my grandfather was a United Church minister. My aunt, who’s a pastoral care worker, or my uncle her husband generally say the grace nowadays. - The high schools I went to had grace before lunch. (I continue to be amazed by how blatantly Christian these supposedly non-sectarian schools were; by contrast, my cegep had nothing even remotely in the way of obligatory Christian observances, despite being actually _run by nuns._) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/48 "2010-11-17T02:44:09Z")
Don’t shut my eyes, don’t cast my eyes downward, don’t hold hands, say amen, none of it. Nobody ever seems to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/49 "2010-11-17T07:54:16Z")
We sang a hymn of grace from time to time when my mom was inspired to do so. My father did not really go in for that. Mostly my childhood graces went something like this: Dear God, Thank you for the food. Amen. Sometimes we said: God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for our food. or Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub! Yay God! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/50 "2010-11-17T14:07:50Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > If I catch somebody else looking around I wink. I hope to live long enough to one day be at a holiday dinner where everyone sans a lone matriarch is looking around.😛 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/51 "2010-11-17T14:34:23Z")
I say (or more commonly, think silently) pagan grace when I remember to. It’s mostly about pausing and being in the moment, rather than eating mindlessly. Unfortunately, I don’t remember to as often as I would like. In a group of likeminded neopagans, it’s unabashedly paganey, with overt references to God and Goddess and the power of the plants and generosity of Life growing to nourish us, blah blah blah… We never do that with our eyes closed - the beauty of our community sharing a meal is a wonderful thing to look at, and our divinity is among us, not behind our eyelids. I was asked a few times by my ex inlaws to say grace, as a challenge from my holier-than-God Catholic MIL. I was happy to. Although I always made it nondenominational and gender neutral, it was good enough to get a genuine smile and moment of appreciation from her, so I felt good about that. 🙂 …and no matter where or how I do it, I \*do \*include a word of thanks to the cooks! I’m thankful for them as well as the food, after all. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/52 "2010-11-17T14:49:35Z")
As a Catholic, my family said grace at dinner. Now that I live alone, I don’t. Not because I believe any less, but maybe because a sandwich eaten in front of my computer doesn’t seem like a meal. StG ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/53 "2010-11-17T15:01:06Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. Has it really been that long? [Almost.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Kelly) We say grace at home. We don’t say grace in restaurants, and we don’t initiate the blessing in other people’s homes: their house, their customs. ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764/54 "2010-11-17T15:17:53Z")
My family says grace on holidays, when the extended family is eating together. Otherwise not at all. Even when I was a kid and we attended church regularly, we didn’t say grace before ordinary meals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-say-grace/560764.md?page=2)