I think I’ve only heard it on TV.
To me it sounds almost satirically British, very Sloaney, like “Darling, we haven’t seen Penny and Nigel for absolute yonks.” As an American, I’ve never used it. I don’t think many people over here would know what it means.
No, but I will now.
It took the context of other replies to figure out what on God’s green earth you meant.
There are variations on the theme:
- I haven’t done that in yonks;
- We haven’t seen her for yonks;
- It’s yonks since we went there;
- That was yonks ago.
Holly: Cow’s milk, ran out of that yonks ago. Fresh and dehydrated.
Lister: What kind of milk are we using now?
Holly: Emergency backup supply. We’re on the dog’s milk.
I used it a bit in the 90s, but I don’t use it (or hear it much) now.
No cite, but in my experience it tends to be more a New Zealand thing.
Heh, the last time I hand a wank was yonks ago 
Fairly common expression in my neck of the woods, yonks that is not wanks…although…erm, right
Yeah, Mancs have no word for “wank”. It’s like fish have no word for “water”.
Why yes, I did catch that “Naaaridge” crack of yours the other day.
British. I’ve heard it occasionally, said it a few times, consider it uncommon, but not weird.
I say it.
Spent time in US, UK, NZ and Australia - very familiar with it (although more with the ‘in yonks’ format - the OP sounded a little odd to me) would expect it’s not of US origin though.
I’d say far more kiwi than UK, but occasionally hear it over here.
Si
I’ve seen all of Red Dwarf several times now, and I don’t remember that expression. Funny how that works. Maybe I just filtered it out as unintelligible noise. Anyway, the equivalent Bay Area expression would be “hella days ago”.
English,used to say it many years ago but dont say it now I suspect it might have been a “trendy” saying at the time Man.
My Victorian transplant husband says it all the time.
Not me.
Cheers,
G
My elder brother and I used it a lot when I was growing up in the late 60s/early 70s.
It was quite common, iirc.
I had the impression then that it was a new expression then, but I could well be wrong on that point.
Heard it often, used it lots, though thinking about perhaps less so in recent years. However have now read it and said it over and over again enough to make it sound utterly meaningless gibberish. May need to give it a wild berth and then see how it feels at a later date.
“Yonks”. Yes, I’ve ruined it for myself now.
I say it quite often. British - grew up in the North East.
British - my Dad says it a lot, me not so much if at all.