# Do you spank? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728 "2013-09-13T01:35:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2013, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/41 "2013-09-14T00:08:45Z")
> [@Kiyoshi](#): > > I don’t have kids, but if I did, I could never hit them, no matter how badly they behaved. It just doesn’t work. My mother used to beat the shit out of me, and I used to live in fear of her, because I couldn’t see any pattern behind it, and the next move I made could result in another unexpected beating. Eventually, I got into the mentality of, “well I’m going to get hit no matter what I do, so I might as well do whatever I want.” > > Long story short: hitting your kid could make it more badly behaved, and cause psychological damage. Agreed. Read my posting. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2013, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/42 "2013-09-14T10:59:57Z")
I’m not a parent, but I can see the logic behind a small pain in response to a highly dangerous action. My mother did that to me once that I can remember after I had taken my seatbelt off while she was driving. (Lap belt only in back seat, 70s or 80s Pontiac sedan, no such thing as booster seats.) I would think most issues can probably be solved with tactics like time outs but that there are times that a message needs to get across fast and unambiguously not to do something. Such as crying and behaving badly in a store gets a time out and possibly removal from the store while running away and hiding in the store could get a spanking. At least that’s my thinking now about dealing with hypothetical children. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2013, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/43 "2013-09-14T11:32:21Z")
Very, very rarely, and only hard enough to cause a few seconds of physical discomfort – mental/emotional recalibration via sudden embarassment is the goal, not pain – but that’s still a “yes,” so that’s how I voted. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2013, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/44 "2013-09-14T13:21:10Z")
In theory yes, but in practice no. The occasion never seemed to come up. Now they are all grown up, and turned out rather well. (Insert several paragraphs of insufferable bragging here.) Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/45 "2013-09-15T04:49:34Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Do you post on any “parents of multiples” websites? I bet the people there would be able to give you advice. I did when they were really little but I never post on any message boards much anymore except this one. Lol I do Facebook a lot so I bet I could post on the FB of the twin mom page I am a fan of. Thanks for the great idea 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/46 "2013-09-16T13:19:03Z")
Only if asked politely and they are over 25. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/47 "2013-09-16T14:28:04Z")
Never. Not even if she was 25 and asking for it (okay, maybe I would then). ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/48 "2013-09-16T15:00:06Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I’m a teacher in the UK, so spanking is illegal. > Which I fully agree with. > [@LuckyBastid](#): > > Please clarify. Illegal for a teacher or illegal for a parent? I’m not being obtuse. The public schools in my state still paddle kids. (Here in the UK) Illegal in schools; restrictions apply in the the home. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/49 "2013-09-16T15:05:44Z")
I’ve never hit my son, even though he’s given me ample temptations and justifications. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/50 "2013-09-16T15:21:19Z")
This is one of the **Dope’s Top Ten Bi-Polar Topics** , where if you’re anything less superhuman than Mother Theresa (which brings up another of the top Ten topics: Religion) you’ll be flayed alive…it’s almost as bad as liking PT Cruisers (#7 on the list.) I’ve spanked 'em. A Lot. In the past. Kids are not little adults and there’s been times where it was reasonable and prudent. It’s also been with a bare hand so that I’m aware of the pain being inflicted. That said, they’re nearly 11 now and I don’t think they’ve really been spanked in the past two years. Honestly, losing screen privileges seems to carry more weight, and physical restraint just doesn’t seem appropriate as their faculties develop. So, were they spanked? Yup. It was one of many tools used in establishing proper behavior and was nearly always a method of last resort. But we did it, and we’d do it again if we had younger children. Hopefully, it’s no longer necessary, and more cerebral discipline gets the point across. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/51 "2013-09-16T15:25:00Z")
I thought we just did this last month. I’ve never had to spank the Small Girl. She’s almost eight years old now. She’s a well behaved child and does as she is asked to the best of her ability, so I cannot see why I would ever have had to spank her. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/52 "2013-09-16T16:01:26Z")
I read a great deal before I became a parent. Not advise columns or opinion pieces but scholarly articles on psychology and childhood development. From everything I read all spanking teaches is that its OK for big people to hit little people and that if you are going to misbehave you better be sneaky about it or you will feel pain. Since I didn’t want to raise a bully or a sneak I chose to use other methods. We used natural consequences to teach lessons and that worked wonders. ---
**Author:** ![misspawdle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@misspawdle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misspawdle)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/53 "2013-09-27T23:11:58Z")
I agree with Corporal Punishment with any age,whether you are 10 or 100 years old. i was spanked and accepted with grace. And if I ever was put in jail for wrong, I would gladly accept corporal punishment. I am in my 30’s now, and i could still accept 10 swats with the paddle. It teaches me to behave. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/54 "2013-09-27T23:21:34Z")
> [@misspawdle](#): > > … I would gladly accept corporal punishment. I am in my 30’s now, and i could still accept 10 swats with the paddle. It teaches me to behave. Mmmm. You naughty little vixen. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/55 "2013-09-28T06:56:16Z")
How about you kneel in the corner for half an hour first, and think about what you did wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/56 "2013-09-28T14:41:25Z")
Interesting thread. I was all for spanking our kids but my wife is against it. So we followed her way and frankly I think it is the right way to go for us. That’s probably down to her great parenting though. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/57 "2013-09-29T14:00:01Z")
> [@Pabitel](#): > > I read a great deal before I became a parent. Not advise columns or opinion pieces but scholarly articles on psychology and childhood development. From everything I read all spanking teaches is that its OK for big people to hit little people and that if you are going to misbehave you better be sneaky about it or you will feel pain. > > Since I didn’t want to raise a bully or a sneak I chose to use other methods. We used natural consequences to teach lessons and that worked wonders. What exactly is natural consequences? ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/58 "2013-09-29T15:02:50Z")
No. All the children I have raised (4 so far) have been other people’s kids in a “living with Aunt and Uncle” way, so regardless of my opinions on spanking I have never spanked them out of respect for their parents. In my opinion different children have different temperaments; some may respond to timeouts, others to direct reasoning, while still others may need a sore backside to punctuate a point. In my case I don’t apply this treatment because it is not my place to do so. If they were my own children it would depend on the child and the offense. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/59 "2013-09-29T15:36:28Z")
I did when the kids were little. It was a last resort action, and it was always presented as a direct result of something that they had done. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728/60 "2013-09-29T22:42:23Z")
It is illegal here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-spank/668728.md?page=4)