# Do you stigmatise rape victims?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 12, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647 "2015-01-12T20:09:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/1 "2015-01-12T20:09:29Z")
Well do you? Do you think less of a victim of rape?
What you think others think is not relevant - this poll is about what **you** think.
ETA: this poll was inspired by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=18047117).
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### Author:  [@CinnamonBabka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CinnamonBabka)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/2 "2015-01-12T20:10:31Z")
Nope!
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### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/3 "2015-01-12T20:11:48Z")
I do not.
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### Author:  [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/4 "2015-01-12T20:35:57Z")
Yes!
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### Author:  [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/5 "2015-01-12T20:36:58Z")
Sorry… what I meant to say was: No!
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### Author:  [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/6 "2015-01-12T20:47:27Z")
Next up in polling land: Do you think we should torture to death people that have different hair colors?
Do you think airline food is bad?
Earth: Flat or Sphere?
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### Author:  [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/7 "2015-01-12T20:47:48Z")
Not only no, but HELL no!
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### Author:  [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/8 "2015-01-12T20:50:30Z")
The only stigma I see is that sexual issues aren’t considered “polite conversation,” so I might be more willing to share “I was mugged” than “I was raped.”
But in terms of the victim being impure, not fit for marriage, or something like that… no, not at all.
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### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/9 "2015-01-12T20:50:50Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#):
>
> Next up in polling land: Do you think we should torture to death people that have different hair colors?
> Do you think airline food is bad?
> Earth: Flat or Sphere?
How about: do you poison the well?
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/10 "2015-01-12T20:57:06Z")
Eh, that’s a poorly phrased question. I can’t be bothered to read that wall of text **Gorilla** threw up in the other thread, but I CAN say, that if I had beforehand knowledge that a particular woman had been raped, then yes, I might think twice before asking her out. Not because I think she’s “unclean” or anything stupid like that, but because of the perceived mental luggage she might be carrying around.
I’d be worried about things like, if I grope my GF in thew middle of the night trying to initiate sex, is she gonna scream her lungs off or is she going to brush my hands away and tell me “Not tonight dear” like most women do? I’m not sure I would want a relationship where I felt like I had to walk on eggshells with all things related to sex.
I guess in that regard, maybe I do stigmatize rape victims.
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/11 "2015-01-12T21:06:12Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#):
>
> Earth: Flat or Sphere?
Actually, there was a poster a while back who argued that the Earth was flat, or possibly inside-out (it was hard to tell).
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/12 "2015-01-12T21:16:46Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Actually, there was a poster a while back who argued that the Earth was flat, or possibly inside-out (it was hard to tell).
I know exactly who you mean. Come to think of it, he seemed exactly the type to stigmatize a rape victim.
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### Author:  [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/13 "2015-01-12T21:52:26Z")
No, but I do sometimes get the feeling that some rape victims seem to stigmatize themselves.
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/14 "2015-01-12T22:40:14Z")
> [@Shakes](#):
>
> Eh, that’s a poorly phrased question. I can’t be bothered to read that wall of text **Gorilla** threw up in the other thread, but I CAN say, that if I had beforehand knowledge that a particular woman had been raped, then yes, I might think twice before asking her out. Not because I think she’s “unclean” or anything stupid like that, but because of the perceived mental luggage she might be carrying around.
>
> I’d be worried about things like, if I grope my GF in thew middle of the night trying to initiate sex, is she gonna scream her lungs off or is she going to brush my hands away and tell me “Not tonight dear” like most women do? I’m not sure I would want a relationship where I felt like I had to walk on eggshells with all things related to sex.
> I guess in that regard, maybe I do stigmatize rape victims.
I don’t think that’s going to be a real popular position, but I credit you for bringing it out.
Ref this specifically “I’m not sure I would want a relationship where I felt like I had to walk on eggshells with all things related to sex.” …
I \*know \*I wouldn’t want a relationship like that. What I \*don’t \*know, before getting to know her, is whether she’s like that. Not all rape victims are. And some women who’ve never been raped \*are \*like that. So it’s a topic to discuss, just like one’s attitude to religion or money or, for younger people, having kids.
There’s a lot of reasons a relationship might fail to gel. Unless one has a long list of women lined up to meet oneself, writing off all rape victims seems to me like jumping to conclusions. A bit like dating way outside one’s social class, there’s certainly a potential strike against the relationship. But it’s just potential until you get evidence that it’s actual.
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### Author:  [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/15 "2015-01-12T22:46:52Z")
No, in fact hate it that some how one brought it upon themselves to be raped.
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### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/16 "2015-01-12T22:49:07Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#):
>
> I don’t think that’s going to be a real popular position, but I credit you for bringing it out.
>
> Ref this specifically “I’m not sure I would want a relationship where I felt like I had to walk on eggshells with all things related to sex.” …
>
> I \*know \*I wouldn’t want a relationship like that. What I \*don’t \*know, before getting to know her, is whether she’s like that. Not all rape victims are. And some women who’ve never been raped \*are \*like that. So it’s a topic to discuss, just like one’s attitude to religion or money or, for younger people, having kids.
>
> There’s a lot of reasons a relationship might fail to gel. Unless one has a long list of women lined up to meet oneself, writing off all rape victims seems to me like jumping to conclusions. A bit like dating way outside one’s social class, there’s certainly a potential strike against the relationship. But it’s just potential until you get evidence that it’s actual.
This is why I mentioned poisoning the well. It depends on what your definition of stigmatize is. It certainly doesn’t meet the dictionary definition (describe or regard as worthy of disgrace or great disapproval). Just because you think someone’s real or assumed psychological baggage would make them a bad match for you romantically doesn’t mean you think they are worthy of disgrace.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [January 12, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/17 "2015-01-12T22:50:05Z")
> [@Nema98](#):
>
> No, in fact hate it that some how one brought it upon themselves to be raped.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
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### Author:  [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2015, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/18 "2015-01-13T01:41:11Z")
I have this really weird feeling that not many people are going to answer “yes” to this one (well, apart from a couple jokers). Seriously, nobody who stigmatizes rape victims _thinks_ they do - this is like asking, “So, do you treat gay people unfairly?”
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### Author:  [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2015, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/19 "2015-01-13T02:24:23Z")
I think they should be hanged, drawn, and quartered.
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### Author:  [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2015, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-stigmatise-rape-victims/709647/20 "2015-01-13T02:25:23Z")
I hate to sound like a republican politician, but no I won’t stigmatise the victim of a legitimate rape. However, I do think we’ve stretched the definition of rape way too far and that some women do use the buyer’s remorse excuse and falsely claim rape. Women’s groups lie when they make up nonsense like 1 out of 4 women are raped at college.
I do think that there are far too many cases of women falsely claiming rape for either extortion or revenge purposes. I know I’m very harsh and suspicious of these rape claims.
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