# Do You Suffer From an Imbalance of Bodily Humours? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307 "2004-06-02T19:25:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/1 "2004-06-02T19:25:33Z")
I’m reading a new book about everyday life in Elizabethan London, and—predictably—the chapter on medicine is the most hilariously horrifying. Bed-wetting can be treated by “the stones of a hedgehog, powdered,” “pigeon’s dung” for shingles, and for epilepsy, “the stone that is found in the belly of a young swallow.” The most cringe-making treatment is for retention of urine: “Take two or three lice, as great as you can get, and put them into the yard [penis] into the innermost hole that goeth into the body and put a little cloth therein that they may creep in.” Just _thinking_ about it would make you stop retaining your urine! Anyone know of any other good ones, or sites? I tried Googling, but came up with little of interest. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/2 "2004-06-02T19:57:27Z")
From [this site](http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/health_and_medicine_in_medieval_.htm): > [@](#): > > **For toothache** : > > Take a candle and burn it close to the tooth. The worms that are gnawing the tooth will fall out into a cup of water held by the mouth. > > **For evil spirits in the head** : > > For this, surgeons used trepanning. This was where a surgeon cut a hole into the skull to release evil spirits trapped in the brain. The operation might also include cutting out the part of the brain that had been ‘infected’ with these evil spirits. Incredibly, people are known to have survived operations such as these as skulls have been found which show bone growth around the hole cut by a surgeon – a sign that someone did survive such an operation if only for awhile. Yikes! Imagine a few hundred more years into the future people will be saying, “Do you believe that people in olden days would actually _cut you open_ to remove one of your organs?” :eek: This site just looked interesting: [http://www.intermaggie.com/med/healing.php](http://www.intermaggie.com/med/healing.php) ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/3 "2004-06-02T20:17:07Z")
At home I have a two volume set called “The Common Sense Medical Advisor.” It was printed in the late 19th Century by a Dr. Pierce, who ran and “Invalids Hospital” in Buffalo, NY. The set is full of medical “wisdom” from the period, and is equally full of testimonials who rave about the curative powers of “Dr. Pierce’s Purgative Pellets” (I’m not making the name up, either). According to the testimonials, they cured everthing from “nervous prostration” and a host of “women’s complaints” to variocele and “piles the size of a hen’s egg.” Piles are 'roids, IIRC. It also has tons of drawings of people in all sorts of contraptions that were supposed to treat various and sundry ailments. Almost all of them involve electricity and water in some combination. Did you know that old people give off effluvia that is detrimental to children’s health? That women should not ride bicycles because it tends to excite the generative organs? That self-abuse is the world’s most delibiltating contagion? Well, if you had asked Dr. Pierce’s “Common Sense Medical Advisor” you would know all of that - and plenty more besides. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/4 "2004-06-02T20:22:28Z")
Don’t know if this counts, but I love the old “cure” for feminine “hysteria” – the doctor would apply a vibrating metal contraption to the genital region of the patient. Apparently it was a very popular procedure… ---
**Author:** ![jeevwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@jeevwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevwoman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/5 "2004-06-02T20:22:37Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > That self-abuse is the world’s most delibiltating contagion? If that’s true, we’re going to be paying out an awful lot in healthcare claims and sick days. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/6 "2004-06-02T20:41:48Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > From [this site](http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/health_and_medicine_in_medieval_.htm) . . . That site contains an extremely alarming link labeled, “For the Black Death—click here.” Umm, no thanks . . . ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/7 "2004-06-02T21:05:21Z")
See here now, you’ve gone and given poor **Eve** the vapors! I’ll fetch a cool compress and the smelling salts… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/8 "2004-06-02T22:16:29Z")
[QUOTE=plnnr] That self-abuse is the world’s most delibiltating contagion? [QUOTE] Well, that explains why everyone on the internet wears glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/9 "2004-06-02T22:19:13Z")
> [@](#): > > That site contains an extremely alarming link labeled, “For the Black Death—click here.” Umm, no thanks . . . Black Death! That is racist! Where is Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson? Where is White Death or Yellow Death or Latte Colored Death? The rest of the world demands to have a terrible plague named after their skin color! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/10 "2004-06-02T22:20:48Z")
Do I suffer from an imbalance of bodily humours? No, I’m enjoying every minute of it. Wheeeeee! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/11 "2004-06-02T22:24:33Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > “For the Black Death—click here.” Now, THAT is a sig line. Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/12 "2004-06-03T03:34:50Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > See here now, you’ve gone and given poor **Eve** the vapors! I’ll fetch a cool compress and the smelling salts… 😃 What kind of a quack are you? What’ll you suggest next? A balsam specific? **Eve** Clearly needs to have a hysterical paroxysm. Fortunately, I’m very skilled in inducing hysterical paroxysms. **Shirley Ujest** Tuberculosis, that’s consumption to you laypeople, was aslo known as the White Death. The skin of sufferers would become pale to the point of transparency. They would also have an overabundance of the white humour, mucous. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/13 "2004-06-03T03:59:54Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Now, THAT is a sig line. Anyone? Mwaha… okay I gotta use that one… ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/14 "2004-06-03T04:08:47Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Do You Suffer From an Imbalance of Bodily Humours? On Saturday I was rather choleric, on Sunday somewhat bilious, on Monday I felt much more sanguine, but on Tuesday I was completely phlegmatic. Today I just feel as if I have a superabundance of ichor. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/15 "2004-06-03T04:57:27Z")
I bought a Home Remedies book when I was pregnant, hoping it would help keep me from grabbing the tylenol everytime I had a little discomfort. _“To relieve the pain of swollen breast during pregnancy, place warm flapjacks on each breast.”_😕 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/16 "2004-06-03T05:24:06Z")
What were the four humours, anyway? Blood Urine Phlegm/Mucous And??? Feces? Vomit? Spit? Help me out here, people! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/17 "2004-06-03T05:31:23Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Do I suffer from an imbalance of bodily humours? > > No, I’m enjoying every minute of it. > > Wheeeeee! I’m glad you’re enjoying yours, because my humours must be out of whack–people are always laughing at my body. “Remember”, said the mother to her innocent daughter on her wedding day, “you can point, or you can laugh. But just don’t laugh and point.” ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/18 "2004-06-03T05:57:32Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > I bought a Home Remedies book when I was pregnant, hoping it would help keep me from grabbing the tylenol everytime I had a little discomfort. > > _“To relieve the pain of swollen breast during pregnancy, place warm flapjacks on each breast.”_😕 Warm flapjacks? Well I bet THEIR husband was happy. “Hey darlin! Whoo look at those! You’re hurtin? Well I got me a hankerin for some flapjacks and syrup!” ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/19 "2004-06-03T10:47:05Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > What were the four humours, anyway? Blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307/20 "2004-06-03T10:59:52Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Just _thinking_ about it would make you stop retaining your urine! It’ll give you trouble retaining your lunch, though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-suffer-from-an-imbalance-of-bodily-humours/248307.md?page=2)