# Do you tell your friends "I love you"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473 "2005-04-03T01:44:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/21 "2005-04-03T10:08:20Z")
Absolutely not, despite the fact that one of my friends constantly tells everyone she loves them. I hug in lieu. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/22 "2005-04-03T10:16:43Z")
Male. Hell no. But then again, I don’t have any friends anyway 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/23 "2005-04-03T13:31:53Z")
Male, 24. I have a friend my age, that when drunk, tells me he loves me. I’ve responded by saying so as well. And once I told another friend during a friendly argument, that I love him like a brother. It doesn’t mean I love them in a sexual way, just that there is a strong bond between us. It’s completely innocent and positive. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/24 "2005-04-03T13:47:54Z")
Male, 25. I don’t hang up the phone with my Mom without telling her I love her. I’ve never told my dad (he and I have issues that still need to be worked out). Never told my brother or any male friend. I’ll tell female friends if they’re very, very close, and usually I’ve had to test the waters with a casual and off-handed “Love ya!” to see how they respond. The “I love you” in a romantic way is a bit more difficult, and it’s hard to tell a female friend you love them without them freaking out. I think women are a lot more comfortable with it, especially with other women. But I really respect any guy who can say it, especially to another guy. Adam ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/25 "2005-04-03T14:47:19Z")
Female, and I say it seriously to my husband and to my closest female friends. I say it jokingly in conversation occasionally. I think it would worry most of my male friends, so I don’t say it to them. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/26 "2005-04-03T15:45:52Z")
Ewww no! Only to hub and then only rarely. It’s a phrase rendered meaningless by overuse. Or, as my husband says, "Don’t SAY I love you, DO I love you. " Yes please dear… ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/27 "2005-04-03T17:20:05Z")
Yes, I say it to family and my close girlfriends. I’d be comfortable saying it to guy friends, as all of my guy friends these days have known me longer than Mr. Carmichael – but it’d have to be one of those “they said it first” things. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/28 "2005-04-03T17:40:51Z")
Female. Yep, I do. Mostly to my two best female friends, but also to my friend Jeff. Of course my SO and kids hear it the most. Not my sister, even though I love her, and not really my mom either. Just not the kind of thing my family does. Best, karol ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/29 "2005-04-03T17:56:12Z")
Female. Yep, to family and friends, including male friends. It doesn’t matter if they say it back. I tell DeHusband multiple times a day, including phone conversations. My reasoning: When I was growing up, I kept a count of how many times my parents told me they loved me. From age 13 to 22, my mom told me 4 times, my father once. Not that they didn’t love me, they just never said it. I never want anyone to have to wonder or have reason to keep count. One friend told me I was the only person who told him he was loved and didn’t expect anything from him. ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/30 "2005-04-03T19:39:40Z")
Female, 21. I say it to my parents and my boyfriend and nobody else. I love my friends, but saying it that way would be strange. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/31 "2005-04-03T19:48:13Z")
I say it to my best friend - I’ve known her for 7.5 years. I have other friends to whom I’m almost as close, but I don’t say it to them, for whatever reason. Perhaps 'cause they’re male? Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/32 "2005-04-03T22:25:23Z")
I say it often to my husband and kids, and have a couple of female friends I say it to sometimes. Usually, it’s a more off-handed remark, like if they do something I really appreciate, I’ll say something like, “See? _This_ is why I love you!” Or I’ll just say “Love ya!”; but I specifically remember a time when my best friend drove me to the hospital, and I was very ill. When I got out of her car, she said “I love you” in a very solemn tone, and I said it right back. That’s happened with the same friend one or two other times. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/33 "2005-04-03T22:29:49Z")
In Spanish, I’d say “Te quiero” to many friends. In English, I don’t say “I love you” unless the friend mentions it first, and so far only one friend (male) has said that(while sober). ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/34 "2005-04-03T22:35:15Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > It’s more of a “love _ **ya** _.” > > I do it all the time. Another vote here for the “love ya” category. There seems to be a difference in pronouncing “I love you” over “Love ya”. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/35 "2005-04-03T22:40:08Z")
Male – I can’t remember ever specifically telling a friend that I loved him, but I probably have once or twice while drunk. I certainly don’t do it on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/36 "2005-04-03T23:19:53Z")
Male. I _think_ it a lot about my best friends, but I almost never say it out loud. I can only think of two of my friends who I’ve said it to, and it’s because they helped me through some pretty tough times without question. And I can’t remember ever saying it to anyone – friends, family, or romantically – without the other person’s saying it to me first. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/37 "2005-04-04T02:11:13Z")
To my husband, I say it every day. Actually \*we \*say it every day, at least once a day. And my best male friend and I say it every time we speak. > [@KarlGrenze](#): > > In Spanish, I’d say “Te quiero” to many friends. In English, I don’t say “I love you” unless the friend mentions it first, and so far only one friend (male) has said that(while sober). That’s the beauty of Spanish. In Spanish “querer” is my verb of choice, since “amar” sounds too formal. ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/38 "2005-04-04T03:54:43Z")
Never. My best friend tells me he loves me all the time when he’s drunk. It gets sort of annoying, frankly. I’m very much not a touchy-feely person. Don’t like to hug or any of that stuff. However, when my relationship to someone is romantic in nature, I crave cuddling like nobody’s business. Strange. ---
**Author:** ![chimichanga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@chimichanga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chimichanga)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/39 "2005-04-04T11:11:28Z")
Yes, but only when I really mean it. Every time I speak to my immediate family (but they’re a long way away and I only see them every few years) I say it. To my best friend of seven years we say it to each other after a big fight or when one of us needs encouragment, but it’s definately a phrase that I would not say lightly. I’m very wary about saying it to a friend of the oppposite sex (I’m a girl) even if I feel it and even if they say it to me, because I’d be worried they’d take it the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473/40 "2005-04-04T13:04:20Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > Nope, sorry, the only person whom I am privileged to say that to is my wife. > > I don’t _love_ my friends, I just _like_ them. If I started telling my friends I loved them, I’d soon have no friends at all… there are just some things a guy doesn’t want another guy to tell him. And I don’t actually have any female friends. The women where I work are either half my age, or older than me. I’m pretty sure that none of us loves the other - we barely know each other. There are different kinds of love. Nothing better than knowing you’re loved…either in a friendly way or a romantic way. I say it all the time to my friends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-tell-your-friends-i-love-you/297473.md?page=3)