# Do you think 16 is an acceptable age to have a girlfriend? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 15, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769 "2014-03-15T16:00:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/1 "2014-03-15T16:00:08Z")
I know over a year ago, I posted a thread saying how people shouldn’t start dating until they are 18. However, you must understand that because I really don’t like most of the girls at my school (a lot of them are superficial/shallow/rude/or just not attractive), I hardly ever get crushes. I had a crush in 7th grade and she turned me down - and now I have a crush right now who I am working to pursue, at 16 as a sophomore in high school (sadly, I am probably going to get turned down again - but that’s life). Anyway, I haven’t told my parents yet, but they have picked up on how my self-awareness has recently sky-rocketed and have been wondering, “Why is he doing that?” In seventh grade, they said I couldn’t date until I was 18 or 21 or something like that, but I kept pressing the issue and I think they actually would have let me, but she said “no” so that was that. But now, I think they have sort of forgotten about that and now I would have to press the issue again. I am planning on only telling them in the slim chance this girl actually says “yes”. Then I will tell them - otherwise I will just keep it a secret from them and move on. The reason I am so afraid to bring up this issue with my parents is because they will either laugh at me and tease me about it or they will get angry (probably a combination of both will happen). I _am_ of Indian descent, however we aren’t really the traditional type - my whole family consists of love marriages (no arranged) and they don’t cling to the beliefs that married couples should live with their parents or that the guy is the “head” of the relationship or anything like that. So they will let me find someone I love. But still, being Indian and all, my parents still cling to the mentality that I shouldn’t grow up too fast. Last time in seventh grade when I brought this issue up, the kinds of reasons they gave me against me dating were: 1. We were in your position too. 2. These are you childhood days and you should be enjoying them. 3. You can just be friends. Why do you want to get so serious? 4. Your grades will suffer. **Anyway, most of this is TLDR** - but I still want your opinions and for you to cast your vote in the poll and and I was wondering if you had any advice on talking to my parents on this issue, if I end up having to. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/2 "2014-03-15T16:04:14Z")
My two best friends started dating when he was 15 and she was 16. They both graduated near the top of their classes, went to college and graduated cum laude, grew up and got married and had a kid and are as happy as can be. It didn’t ruin anything for them. ---
**Author:** ![BrokenBriton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@BrokenBriton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrokenBriton)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/3 "2014-03-15T16:30:51Z")
Has nature been saying anything since your balls dropped? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/4 "2014-03-15T17:23:20Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Anyway, I haven’t told my parents yet, but they have picked up on how my self-awareness has recently sky-rocketed and have been wondering, “Why is he doing that?” If you are suddenly paying a lot more attention to your hygiene they know exactly what is going on. And they are happy for you. Ask her to a movie or something. Enjoy having a crush. I didn’t start dating till well into my 20s. My contemporaries who were dating as early as 11 years old have been happier people their whole lives. Studies first is wrong my experience shows. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/5 "2014-03-15T19:20:11Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > If you are suddenly paying a lot more attention to your hygiene they know exactly what is going on. You think? I mean they asked me a couple times here and there (and once or twice in a teasing way) why I am changing so drastically all of a sudden (as in asking for better clothes, focusing more on hygiene, working out, etc) and I just shrugged it off. I heard my mom talking on the phone the other day and she said that I am becoming a lot more self-aware and then, “I don’t know…(small giggle)” So what I am trying to say is they definitely noticed a huge change in me all of a sudden but I am not sure they immediately know that I like a girl. Unimportant junk that is irrelevant to this thread: As for my current crush, I don’t think she likes me back. The only good sign I see is that she smiles when I talk to her but _all_ girls do \*that \*and for some reason she was looking at me a lot the other day (and not smiling). That day I was just giving her quick glances to see if she was looking at me, but then once, I looked at her and I smiled and then looked away and I think she twitched a little when I did that. Those are the only good signs I am seeing, and she doesn’t even look at me anymore in class (I think because after the seat change, she’s with all her friends so she’s busy talking to them). Really, I don’t think she likes me because she never makes an effort to talk to me first or say “hey” to me first - I always have to initiate small talk and she always seems to “conclude” the conversation quickly (like within a minute or two) and then flees. So I am 95% sure she doesn’t like me, but because YOLO, I will try asking for her number on Monday, and if she says “no” to that, then I will know my answer for sure and get on with my life. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/6 "2014-03-15T19:31:27Z")
Dude, you’re fine. Enjoy the crush and if she doesn’t return it, that’s fine. But enjoy the experience and know that you can repeat it and eventually - quicker than you think - someone will (and may already) have a crush on you. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/7 "2014-03-15T19:40:29Z")
Do they still require Romeo & Juliet as reading. Love happens, it is normal and beautiful and sometimes, involves sex btw, let those who oppose love oppose God (which is what they are doing). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/8 "2014-03-15T19:49:00Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Do they still require Romeo & Juliet as reading. Love happens, it is normal and beautiful and sometimes, involves sex btw, let those who oppose love oppose God (which is what they are doing). Well, just don’t get your families involved in a major war, and then committ suicide. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/9 "2014-03-15T20:01:16Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Do they still require Romeo & Juliet as reading. Love happens, it is normal and beautiful and sometimes, involves sex btw, let those who oppose love oppose God (which is what they are doing). I agree with what you’re saying man, but if my parents don’t, there’s nothing I can do. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/10 "2014-03-15T20:01:29Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > 1. We were in your position too. > **2. These are you childhood days and you should be enjoying them.** > 2. You can just be friends. Why do you want to get so serious? > 3. Your grades will suffer. > > . Okay, I realize you were only in 7th grade, but seriously, WTF? I can’t imagine my teenage years sans girls. Nor do I want to. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/11 "2014-03-15T20:04:23Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I can’t imagine my teenage years sans girls. Nor do I want to. You can’t even imagine it, and for me, so far it has been a reality… But then again, I have only had two crushes (one of them is my current one) that I have tried/am trying to pursue (I may have had a few others, but none of them were strong enough in order for me to pursue them) because like I said, I am not attracted to most of the girls at my school for various reasons. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/12 "2014-03-15T20:55:23Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > You think? I mean they asked me a couple times here and there (and once or twice in a teasing way) why I am changing so drastically all of a sudden (as in asking for better clothes, focusing more on hygiene, working out, etc) and I just shrugged it off. I heard my mom talking on the phone the other day and she said that I am becoming a lot more self-aware and then, “I don’t know…(small giggle)” > > So what I am trying to say is they definitely noticed a huge change in me all of a sudden but I am not sure they immediately know that I like a girl. Well, they are hoping you like girls, not boys, but yes, they know exactly what it is. They didn’t get you out of a Cheerios box or mail order. This is really the biggest “duh” in the whole world. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/13 "2014-03-15T21:14:52Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So what I am trying to say is they definitely noticed a huge change in me all of a sudden but I am not sure they immediately know that I like a girl. This is a little bit like wondering whether they know you use the bathroom. What you’re going through is human nature. The timing might vary by a few years, the details might vary a little, but the actual stages are pretty much there in black and white written into our DNA. That’s the thing that gets me about teenagers. It’s like they all believe they’re the first person to have ever felt this way or gone through these changes. Trust me, man, a teenager finishing puberty is about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. EVERY adult knows what you’re going through and they probably know more about it than you do because they’ve gone through the other end and had a chance to look back on it. You’re neither as unique as you think nor as clever in hiding it. (And I don’t say this to be mean in any way. I’m just trying to put things into a perspective that you probably won’t have for another ten years or so.) As far as dating goes, 16 is fine. But go into because you feel like it’s something you want to do, not just because everyone else is doing it and you want emulate them. And when you’re head over heels in love and think you’re ready to die for this one true love - the first true love any human has ever discovered! - just remember that I said that this is a phase of development too. It’s perfectly natural to be insane at this stage of your life, but please let at least part of your brain be aware that you are insane. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/14 "2014-03-15T21:16:59Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > You can’t even imagine it, and for me, so far it has been a reality… > > . FTR: I was a skinny, awkward, brace faced kid who couldn’t throw a ball to save his life. I didn’t get a lot of girls either. But that wasn’t the point. It was the chase man, the chase! I was like Charlie Brown with that shit. I didn’t care how many times Lucy took that ball away at the last minute, it wasn’t going to stop me from trying. ---
**Author:** ![yawuntz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a5b964/32.png) [@yawuntz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawuntz)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/15 "2014-03-15T21:26:49Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Last time in seventh grade when I brought this issue up, the kinds of reasons they gave me against me dating were: > > 1. We were in your position too. > 2. These are you childhood days and you should be enjoying them. > 3. \*\*You can just be friends. Why do you want to get so serious? \*\* > 4. Your grades will suffer. This is so easy. Just tell 'em you’re friends and it’s not serious. Jeez, if I listened to my parents… ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/16 "2014-03-15T21:30:31Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > This is a little bit like wondering whether they know you use the bathroom. > > What you’re going through is human nature. The timing might vary by a few years, the details might vary a little, but the actual stages are pretty much there in black and white written into our DNA. > > That’s the thing that gets me about teenagers. It’s like they all believe they’re the first person to have ever felt this way or gone through these changes. Trust me, man, a teenager finishing puberty is about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. EVERY adult knows what you’re going through and they probably know more about it than you do because they’ve gone through the other end and had a chance to look back on it. You’re neither as unique as you think nor as clever in hiding it. Well I am aware that it happens to pretty much every teenager. However, do you really think my parents know what’s going on…already…without even me telling them? Because here’s the difference. My dad didn’t actually date in his teenage years even though he may have had crushes. > [@dracoi](#): > > As far as dating goes, 16 is fine. But go into because you feel like it’s something you want to do, not just because everyone else is doing it and you want emulate them. And when you’re head over heels in love and think you’re ready to die for this one true love - the first true love any human has ever discovered! - just remember that I said that this is a phase of development too. It’s perfectly natural to be insane at this stage of your life, but please let at least part of your brain be aware that you are insane. Yeah man. I don’t want to date just because other people are doing it. That is irrelevant to me. In fact, the only time I really want to date is when I have a crush. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/17 "2014-03-15T21:37:56Z")
Having a girlfriend, sure. I don’t think people should be having _sex_ until they’re 18, though. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/18 "2014-03-15T21:53:23Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Well I am aware that it happens to pretty much every teenager. However, do you really think my parents know what’s going on…already…without even me telling them? Because here’s the difference. My dad didn’t actually date in his teenage years even though he may have had crushes. They know. Again, this is one of those things that you will realize somewhere around age 25. You’ll be looking back on your life and the light bulb will go on and you’ll say “Wait a minute! My parents knew what they were talking about!” Again, the precise timing and details may vary somewhat, but having that epiphany is another step along the stages of life. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/19 "2014-03-15T22:05:17Z")
> [@BrokenBriton](#): > > Has nature been saying anything since your balls dropped? You balls (assuming you have any) should have dropped (descended) before birth. Are you referring to puberty? > [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > Having a girlfriend, sure. I don’t think people should be having _sex_ until they’re 18, though. And to think all that sex I had from 16 to 18 was wasted. NOT. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769/20 "2014-03-15T22:07:23Z")
If they know, then how come they didnt actually say anything about it…besides pointing out that I am making a lot of drastic sudden changes? Or asked me a more direct question asking if I am interested in girls? EDIT: well I dont think I am getting any sex until college…because there I can do it behind my parents’ back, but not while I am lving under their roof. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-16-is-an-acceptable-age-to-have-a-girlfriend/683769.md?page=2)