# Do you think being tied up during sex is common, or movie/TV shorthand? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223 "2001-09-07T13:40:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/41 "2001-09-07T20:26:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Padeye \* > \*\* > It’s been my observation that far more people like being tied up than doing the tying._\* I’ll go either way, depending on my mood. But I do end up more often tied instead of doing the tying. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/42 "2001-09-07T20:37:19Z")
Oh sure. Let a little time go by, and my post about tying up a guy and masturbating in front of him sinks from the collective SDMB memory. I finally manage, at long last, to write one interesting post after 2400 blathering snooz-a-riffic rambles, and even it escapes notoriety after a few brief days. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/43 "2001-09-07T22:00:07Z")
Arden, to paraphase noted filmmaker and stepdaugher molester Woody Allen, being a switch just doubles your chance for a date on Saturday night. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/44 "2001-09-07T22:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > **Oh sure. Let a little time go by, and my post about tying up a guy and masturbating in front of him sinks from the collective SDMB memory.** I remember, but, IIRC, that was only a phone sex fantasy, not something you actually did. Maybe that is the reason no one brought it up. 🙂 I have never had sex, but the appeal of bondage is almost self-evident. It is an ultimate expression of shared sexuality, depending entirely on someone else for one’s own enjoyment. It is impossible to do alone. Plus, it seems like a lot of fun, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![toshirodragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@toshirodragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toshirodragon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/45 "2001-09-07T22:43:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Padeye \* > \*\*Arden, to paraphase noted filmmaker and stepdaugher molester Woody Allen, being a switch just doubles your chance for a date on Saturday night. \*\* OH MY GOD!!! I am dying on this one! Specially as I do switch… my problem has been in finding a dom I didn’t want to kick in the balls: everyone I have tried to connect with either had no patience for starting slow OR was a cheezy creep… oh and a couple chickened out… might try a Mistress… ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/46 "2001-09-07T23:35:03Z")
If only I weren’t so damned ticklish . . . ---
**Author:** ![Agent0069](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Agent0069](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent0069)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/47 "2001-09-07T23:48:53Z")
I’ve been tied up and I’ve done the tying up. Personally, I have to trust the person 100000000% BEFORE I let them tie me up, but I do enjoy it 🙂 As for the tying…as long as he’s into it, I don’t mind doing it. Makes my “job” more fun…sliding down his body and stopping where I want; touching where I want; watching him squirm because he can’t touch me… Ok, I need to go home now and get some…LOL…but there is no man there…damn… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/48 "2001-09-07T23:58:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shelbo \* > \*\*If only I weren’t so damned ticklish . . . \*\* Ah, but feather play is very nice. 😃 **Agent0069**. I agree. Trust is _very_ important. I also don’t have anyone at home to take care of this eitrher. Curse it all. The SO is sometimes _too_ nice. **toshirodragon** : By all means, try a Mistress. It’s different and in a good way. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/49 "2001-09-08T00:27:09Z")
I used to date a girl who practically got off _while_ I was tying her up. Fun for both of us and I used to actually leave the restraints attached to the bed and just tucked them under at mattress when not in use. Of course, this was back in my care-free college days. Been tied up myself, and it was great but she was better at (and more willing) being tied up than she was at tying up. _C’est la vie_. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/50 "2001-09-08T00:56:17Z")
It’s an amazing thing. Gotta have the whole blindfold thing going on too, not just being tied up. The giving up of control is one thing, but to not be able to see what’s going to happen next adds a _whole_ new element for me. mmmm. Damn! What AM I doing at home alone on a Friday night? ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/51 "2001-09-08T02:11:21Z")
There is a certain Doper who shall remain nameless, but for awhile he was running a little cottage industry supplying custom-sewn straps that went between the mattress and boxspring and had velcro for the cuffs. They easily tucked away out of sight for when the inlaws were visiting. He was quite handy on the sewing machine. All of his friends were requesting ones fit for their bed. Except I didn’t (idiot). ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/52 "2001-09-08T02:18:21Z")
:eek: Names! Or at least have him email me! ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/53 "2001-09-08T23:39:54Z")
Engaging in a bump, because I like this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/54 "2001-09-09T00:04:47Z")
I am asking someone to refresh my memory, as I seem to recall a movie where a couple enjoy a weekend somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, as it were, and one of the parties ties the other to a bed. What happens but the tier has a heart attack and hauls off and dies, leaving the tied party with a serious problem. I do not know what occurs next. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/55 "2001-09-09T01:13:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nostradamus \* > \*\*I am asking someone to refresh my memory, as I seem to recall a movie where a couple enjoy a weekend somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, as it were, and one of the parties ties the other to a bed. > > What happens but the tier has a heart attack and hauls off and dies, leaving the tied party with a serious problem. > > I do not know what occurs next. \*\* I don’t think it’s a movie you’re thinking of. That’s the beginning of the book **Gerald’s Game** by Stephen King, though. Which, to be honest, was the first thing to ever make me give bondage a thought. I’ve never done it (see [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=77888](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=77888) ) but if when I find Mr. Right he says that’s his bag, I don’t think I’d have many objections, since I _do_ find the idea quite intriguing, of course I’d stipulate that I’d only agree if I could do some of the tying too. But if I learned anything from **Gerald’s Game** , it’s that I’ll never be party to using real handcuffs 😉 I don’t understand what’s “gross” about it, though. Now, oral sex on the other hand, that strikes me as much more gross in nature, but far fewer people would object to it, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/56 "2001-09-09T01:30:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*. But if I learned anything from **Gerald’s Game** , it’s that I’ll never be party to using real handcuffs 😉 > . \*\* So that’s where he got it from… Had someone strenously objecting to handcuffs recently and couldn’t imagine why. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/57 "2001-09-09T02:56:49Z")
Blindfolds: yes Restraints: yes, in relatively small doses, and only with someone I trust implicitly. I’m a control freak, so trusting someone enough to give up control is a turn-on. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/58 "2001-09-09T03:01:29Z")
That’s just it porcupine. I have this deal about needing control of the space around me, needing t feel safe and like I’m taking care of myself (which meakes me a horrible drunk) and giving that to another person is so wonderfully wild. what a rush! (but oh goodness, if they do something i didn’t agree to beforehand, i’ll feed them their balls when I get untied. not unsurprisingly I have a rigid and demanding principle of consent.) ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/59 "2001-09-09T04:00:04Z")
Another safety tip/hijack: Well, one thing to do is to always tie this knot I learned in girl scouts. (No, they didn’t teach us bondage in Girl Scouts; they taught us some knots though, and we used this one to tie our mess bags to drying lines). I wish I knew what it was called; I just know after you make the first right-over-left loop, you make a “4” with one end and pull a loop through. Not the whole end, just a loop. It’s very tight when you pull against it from the other end, but pull the loose end and the loop slips out and the knot is untied. Make sure the captee can reach that loose end on at least one arm restraint. Then even if the captor keels over and dies, the captee can get him/herself free. It’s also useful if, say, the inlaws let themselves in unexpectedly. You can untie your arms fast while husband undoes your feet. ---
**Author:** ![junkyardangel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@junkyardangel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/junkyardangel)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/60 "2001-09-09T14:58:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheNerd \* > \*\*Not at the same time though, as that tends not to work as well. 🙂 > > \*\* So THAT was the problem!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223.md?page=4)