# Do you think being tied up during sex is common, or movie/TV shorthand? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223 "2001-09-07T13:40:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/61 "2001-09-09T19:04:01Z")
> [@](#): > > So that’s where he got it from… > > Had someone strenously objecting to handcuffs recently and couldn’t imagine why. The dangers of cuffs get overstated on a lot of “So you’re curious about bdsm and looking to start…” sites, primarily to err on the side of caution I think. Hard metal can do damage if attention lapses during times of heavy, er, writhing, moreso than leather or such will. With the proper amount of attention being paid, that sort of risk is controllable just like all risks involved in bdsm play, but the cautions against metal cuffs are pretty much all over beginners’ info sources, so a lot of people will take it to heart (you gotta figure, many people who enjoy being tied more than doing the tying also like to accept things stated with authority 🙂 ) without really considering the reasons behind it. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/62 "2001-09-09T19:14:40Z")
Well, to be fair to my unnamed person, he isn’t new to the scene. But I was talking about leaving him bound to the bed while I went out for awhile. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/63 "2001-09-09T19:24:13Z")
I can think of a few women I wouldnt mind tying me up…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/64 "2001-09-09T19:39:25Z")
Well, I don’t think it really matters how new someone was to things; cautions presented when they _are_ new have a way of sticking. When you combine the nervousness (I don’t see being blase about it–what if the tyer gets smacked by a car when out? As rational worries go, it’s not much more likely per a given session than dropping dead of an embolism, but worries are seldom rationally based) about unattended bondage, with the likely early cautions about hard metal cuffs, I don’t think it’s an inexplicable reaction at all. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/65 "2001-09-09T19:46:55Z")
I hadn’t planned on going far. But as he would have been blindfolded, he wouldn’t have known that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/66 "2001-09-09T20:19:40Z")
The only thing I can add to this thread is to not use duct tape. That would be tacky. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/67 "2001-09-10T13:08:49Z")
Tacky-yet-effective. The biggest problem I have with it is how much it hurts to take off. elfkin, I actually agree with you about the oral. Never liked it too much on me and it really grosses me out the other way. Tying is a lot of fun though. Arden, I’ve considered doing this to my wife, but heven’ty gotten around to it. On the other hand, she left me once. There I was, lying in bed fairly immobile, and she just stands up and walks out. I was like, “Hmm.” She came back about twenty minutes later with a bowl full of ice cubes. Yeesh. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/68 "2001-09-10T13:13:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\* > I have this deal about needing control of the space around me, needing t feel safe and like I’m taking care of myself (which meakes me a horrible drunk) and giving that to another person is so wonderfully wild. what a rush!_\* So, **Medea’s Child** , how _YOU_ doin’? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/69 "2001-09-10T15:41:04Z")
Darling, we’ve established the wonderful ways in which you impress me already. I’m fine. _grin_ And you? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/70 "2001-09-10T16:19:07Z")
Well, just about perfect now that you’re around. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/71 "2001-09-10T16:24:15Z")
i haven’t had sex in so long, i can’t remember who gets tied up… old joke ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/72 "2001-09-10T19:34:45Z")
Perferably, I do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/73 "2001-09-22T06:15:32Z")
I asked my first partner to tie me up numerous times. It was the best way for me to let go of my inhibitions. Being bound gave me a focus for my feelings of vulnerability, plus, that way I **had** to accede. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/74 "2001-09-22T06:21:26Z")
Ain’t it great? ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223/75 "2001-09-22T06:27:48Z")
> [@](#): > > The only thing I can add to this thread is to not use duct tape. That would be tacky. This is a pun, or play on words. –John Done it both ways around. Much fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-being-tied-up-during-sex-is-common-or-movie-tv-shorthand/80223.md?page=3)