# Do you think it's important to have sex with someone before you marry them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2009, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888 "2009-10-15T08:58:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SmartAlx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SmartAlx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAlx)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/1 "2009-10-15T08:58:27Z")
Do you think it’s important to have sex with someone before you marry them? ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/2 "2009-10-15T10:04:44Z")
Having no religion at all it’s impossible for me to answer the question and I don’t even understand why religion or marriage should have anything to do with sex in the first place. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/3 "2009-10-15T10:11:59Z")
Somehow the poll leaves me with the impression that the OP thinks “not forbidden” is the same as “required.” Maybe he’s trying to find out how many people here make that mistake? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAlx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SmartAlx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAlx)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/4 "2009-10-15T10:41:44Z")
No, it’s just a poll as to whether or not you think that you should find out if you are sexually compatible before you get married. And the opposing side is generally associated with religous folk so I thought it might be good to get some idea about religions role in it too. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/5 "2009-10-15T10:45:30Z")
Badly worded questions: I have no religion, therefore could not answer in a truthful manner. You should add: “Yes. No religion. Male.” “Yes. No religion. Female.” “No. No religion. Male.” “No. No religion. Female.” I chose the nearest fit, but it’s not accurate. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAlx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SmartAlx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAlx)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/6 "2009-10-15T11:08:38Z")
You can’t have more than 10 choices in a poll so I couldn’t do that just to satisfy persnickity atheists. Please everyone, if you are atheist or agnostic, do the same thing when confronted with a religion field in a form. Use the “not against my religion” choices. You know what I mean. Seriously, do you not fill in the religion fields on forms just because you don’t have a religion, even when they supply “atheist” or “agnostic?” Cheese. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/7 "2009-10-15T11:11:42Z")
Considering that [just under half](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=533099) of Doper responders to the religion poll self-identify as atheists – by far the largest group – it does seem like a senseless omission. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/8 "2009-10-15T11:16:14Z")
> [@SmartAlx](#): > > persnickity atheists “My religion” does not exist, for me. That’s not “persnickety”, it’s logic. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAlx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SmartAlx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAlx)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/9 "2009-10-15T11:39:33Z")
You are persnickety because you know what I mean. How do you suggest I get past the 10 choice limit? ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/10 "2009-10-15T13:09:42Z")
> [@SmartAlx](#): > > Please everyone, if you are atheist or agnostic, do the same thing when confronted with a religion field in a form. Use the “not against my religion” choices. I’m neither atheist nor agnostic. I’m totally irreligious, which means that is no option for me. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/11 "2009-10-15T13:22:49Z")
Let’s assume, for the purposes of this poll and any other discussion on the board; Religion can be defined as a philosophical system of defining the Universe and our place in it; including what happens to us after death. In this regard, Atheism is a religion. “No religion” is still a religion, because everyone has some form of philosophy about the nature of the universe and how we fit into it. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/12 "2009-10-15T13:33:28Z")
> [@SmartAlx](#): > > You can’t have more than 10 choices in a poll so I couldn’t do that just to satisfy persnickity atheists. You can have at least 1000 options in a poll. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/13 "2009-10-15T13:37:43Z")
Even if atheism is not a religion, if you apply the law of the excluded middle (i.e., either proposition P is true or proposition P is false, for any proposition P), then if you are an atheist, the proposition “Premarital sex is against my religion” is false. So I was very happy to affirm that “Premarital sex is not against my religion.” I would be equally happy to affirm that “I do not own any pink unicorns.” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/14 "2009-10-15T13:44:08Z")
Jesus Hussein Christ, it’s not against your religion because you don’t have one. Anyway, what kind of question is this? Who just signs up to fuck somebody indefinitely without knowing what it’ll be like? “Sure, I’d like Thing X until I die. No, not interested in trying it out first, I’ll just go with it.” ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/15 "2009-10-15T15:24:15Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Let’s assume, for the purposes of this poll and any other discussion on the board; > > Religion can be defined as a philosophical system of defining the Universe and our place in it; including what happens to us after death. > > In this regard, Atheism is a religion. “No religion” is still a religion, because everyone has some form of philosophy about the nature of the universe and how we fit into it. I don’t agree with this because that’s not what religion means to most people. That’s not even part of the standard definition of religion. Religion usually means [this:](http://www.answers.com/religion) [ul] [li]Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.[/li] [li]A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship.[/li][/ul] Religion is more about an external power which instructs you how to live. Religious people make decisions about what is right and wrong based on what their supernatural power says is right and wrong. So if their supernatural power says sex is wrong before marriage, they need to decide if they will go against that. It’s not the same issue at all for athiests. Deciding whether to have sex before marriage is a personal decision that the athiest can make based on his/her own situation. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/16 "2009-10-15T15:26:14Z")
I love how this has turned into a religion debate… and it all started with sex. Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/17 "2009-10-15T15:27:54Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Jesus Hussein Christ, it’s not against your religion because you don’t have one. Anyway, what kind of question is this? Who just signs up to fuck somebody indefinitely without knowing what it’ll be like? “Sure, I’d like Thing X until I die. No, not interested in trying it out first, I’ll just go with it.” Many millions of people the world over. Not me, and evidently not you, but the world is made up of more than just us. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/18 "2009-10-15T15:32:21Z")
You test drive a car before you buy it. You try on clothes and shoes before you buy them. You test out items in a store before you buy them. Those thing you are only planning to keep for a few years at the most, why would you make a lifetime commitment without finding out if you are sexally compatable? It may not be the only thing in a relationship but it will still be a big thing (hopefully). ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/19 "2009-10-15T15:35:59Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Many millions of people the world over. Not me, and evidently not you, but the world is made up of more than just us. \*Whaaat?! \*:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Haunted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/898d66/32.png) [@Haunted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888/20 "2009-10-15T15:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > … but it will still be a big thing (hopefully). Hopefully. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-its-important-to-have-sex-with-someone-before-you-marry-them/513888.md?page=2)