# Do you think politicians really hate each other? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 22, 2012, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507 "2012-10-22T11:28:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/1 "2012-10-22T11:28:15Z")
This is something I’ve often wondered about since I was a teen. When the doors are closed and the cameras are off; is there a certain sense of comradery that binds both sides of the isle together? I mean, I’m sure they still talk smack to one another. But maybe it’s in the same way I talk smack to my best friend with regards as to who’s going to beat who in our next game of pool or darts. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/2 "2012-10-22T12:06:19Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > **Do you think politicians really hate each other?** The Republicans hate the Democrats with a passion as far as I can tell. The Democrats seem to be in denial about it though. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/3 "2012-10-22T12:27:22Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > This is something I’ve often wondered about since I was a teen. > > When the doors are closed and the cameras are off; is there a certain sense of comradery that binds both sides of the isle together? > > I mean, I’m sure they still talk smack to one another. But maybe it’s in the same way I talk smack to my best friend with regards as to who’s going to beat who in our next game of pool or darts. I have limited exposure to British politicians via a client who is a political consultant. As far as I can tell, in general both sides of the political spectrum get on pretty well behind closed doors – they regard each other as professional colleagues with differing opinions rather than the devil incarnate. Obviously there are some more objectionable characters that rub people up the wrong way - and that happens within the same party as well as left and right wingers - but most seem to rub along okay. My client is very active in the Labour party (left) and has many friends and colleagues in the Conservative party (right). ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/4 "2012-10-22T12:35:07Z")
Some do. Some don’t. ---
**Author:** ![CyclopticXander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@CyclopticXander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CyclopticXander)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/5 "2012-10-22T12:37:19Z")
It really does vary just as much as personality types in general do, but generally speaking there is probably less personal anemosity than most people may think. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/6 "2012-10-22T13:20:46Z")
> [@CyclopticXander](#): > > It really does vary just as much as personality types in general do, but generally speaking there is probably less personal anemosity than > most people may think. I suspect that the same is true among TV talking heads as well, that after shouting at one another for an hour, they all go drinking together afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/7 "2012-10-22T13:28:24Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I suspect that the same is true among TV talking heads as well, that after shouting at one another for an hour, they all go drinking together afterwards. Somehow I don’t think they will be doing that tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/8 "2012-10-22T13:57:36Z")
I believe the answer is that there is more animosity today than in the past. Washington is full of stories about how politicians used to spend lots of time together, inviting each other to their houses, having dinner together, and so on, especially in the days where it just wasn’t feasible to go back to your home state/district every weekend or so. Today, there’s so much more pressure to get out of DC as quickly as possible, whether to go back to one’s “real” home or to go campaign and fundraise, that politicians just don’t know each other as well. It’s must easier to be contemptuous against people you barely know, so yes, I’d say there’s more dislike and less respect among politicians today than in past years. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/9 "2012-10-22T14:06:26Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Some do. Some don’t. Simply stated, and accurate. Pols tend to be the narcissistic type and they can hold grudges over very petty things. They can also be so narcissistic that they wouldn’t spend the time thinking about someone else that they hate. The extreme ideologues probably don’t hate each other as much as it appears. That appearance of animus is a way to convince the faithful of their dedication to a stupid idea. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/10 "2012-10-22T14:29:38Z")
I once gave a deposition in a lawsuit, where the lawyers for the two sides were acting all hissy, bitchy, and petulant toward each other while I was testifying. But every time we took a break and went off record, they became buds and started chatting about football and the next bar association convention. I have no first-hand experience with politicians, but always assumed they were the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/11 "2012-10-22T14:31:55Z")
Given that they almost never publicly flog each other with walking sticks or kill each other in duels any more, I’d say they get along together quite well compared to years past. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/12 "2012-10-22T14:54:01Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > When the doors are closed and the cameras are off; is there a certain sense of comradery that binds both sides of the isle together? This has traditionally been the case to a fair extent, and sometimes it would foster a degree of bipartisan cooperation on certain issues. It seems that we are now in an era of increasing extremism, partially related to the increased isolation that **Ravenman** mentioned, and partially related to the increased popularity of polarized movements such as the Tea Party. Generally, though, the appearance of animus isn’t personal, it’s politics. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/13 "2012-10-22T15:06:21Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Some do. Some don’t. I count some politicians among my personal friends, and this is true. Interestingly, sometimes politicians can be friends with each other across party lines, while in other cases politicians within the same party can have as deep and lasting hatred of each other. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/14 "2012-10-22T15:37:00Z")
I worked around politicians for a long time, and while things have changed, I’d say it’s not a matter of hatred as much as indifference. Back, oh let’s say 30 years ago, legislators saw themselves as competitors. You played the game on the field, but you had more in common with your opponent than the average person, so there was a certain comfort level. Now, politicans are much more likely to have an attitude of “I came here to do X. If you aren’t with me on X, I don’t have time for you.” And no interest in hanging out together after work. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/15 "2012-10-22T15:59:23Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Pols tend to be the narcissistic type and they can hold grudges over very petty things. They can also be so narcissistic that they wouldn’t spend the time thinking about someone else that they hate. I disagree with this. Politicians do tend toward the self-inflation, and even narcissism, but I think it tends to be compartmented, or expressed, in ways much different than this implies. Take, for example, Bill Clinton. I doubt anyone would seriously disagree that he has narcissistic tendencies, to say the least. But he also has a deep need to connect with people, if for no other reason than being popular is the route to political power, even if the relationship is not emotionally deep. That is the opposite of what you imply, which is that narcissism fuels isolation or hatred for other people. [Here](http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-09-28-political-narcissism_n.htm) is what one psychologist finds: > [@](#): > > W. Keith Campbell, head of the psychology department at the University of Georgia in Athens, has researched narcissism and wrote the 2005 book When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself. He says data suggest narcissists tend to play games in relationships, are more prone to infidelity and desire status rather than an emotionally caring partner. > > “What you find overall is that narcissists are good at initiating relationships,” he says. “They’re always looking at opportunities to enhance themselves and inflate their ego. If they’re in a relationship, they’re going to be looking for a better one.” ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/16 "2012-10-22T16:38:18Z")
Locally, our incumbent Congressman has an actually serious opponent for the first time in his entire tenure of service. I have it on good authority that the guys were friendly before their debate. . . now, according to the challenger, “Yeah, I don’t think we’ll be speaking any time soon.” And it makes sense. It’s kind of hard to listen to someone call you a liar and a failure for months on end and still maintain some sort of otherwise friendly relationship. These folks don’t just attack each other’s ideas-- they attack each other’s character. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/17 "2012-10-22T16:40:27Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > I disagree with this. Politicians do tend toward the self-inflation, and even narcissism, but I think it tends to be compartmented, or expressed, in ways much different than this implies. > > Take, for example, Bill Clinton. I doubt anyone would seriously disagree that he has narcissistic tendencies, to say the least. But he also has a deep need to connect with people, if for no other reason than being popular is the route to political power, even if the relationship is not emotionally deep. That is the opposite of what you imply, which is that narcissism fuels isolation or hatred for other people. > > [Here](http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-09-28-political-narcissism_n.htm) is what one psychologist finds: Not sure what the point of disagreement is. I didn’t mean to imply it fueled animosity, just that petty animosity may be associated. I’m wasn’t using naricissim as a clincial term either, just a broader description of the self-absorbed types. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/18 "2012-10-23T02:21:08Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > I once gave a deposition in a lawsuit, where the lawyers for the two sides were acting all hissy, bitchy, and petulant toward each other while I was testifying. But every time we took a break and went off record, they became buds and started chatting about football and the next bar association convention. Surprising that those lawyers allowed you to be privy to that. (Unless you’re a lawyer or other legal professional yourself.) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/19 "2012-10-23T05:07:58Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I suspect that the same is true among TV talking heads as well, that after shouting at one another for an hour, they all go drinking together afterwards. Oh I’m right on board with this. Have you ever seen Bill Maher and Ann Coulter together? Jeez! They need to get a room already! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507/20 "2012-10-23T06:40:30Z")
In Canada, they can debate furiously in the House of Commons, but be on good, if not friendly, terms elsewhere. When New Democratic Party (left of centre) leader Jack Layton died, Conservative Party (right of centre) Prime Minister Stephen Harper seemed regretful. Both gentlemen were capable amateur musicians, and they had apparently always wanted to play music together. From a [CTV News report](http://www.ctvnews.ca/canadians-remember-layton-as-state-funeral-planned-1.686509) at the time: > [@](#): > > Prime Minister Stephen Harper said he will always regret not getting together for a jam session with Jack Layton and said the country has lost a man of strong principles and an engaging personality. > > . . . > > Harper said the two, both musicians, would often talk about getting together for a jam session, but “it always seemed we were too busy.” Similarly, former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau taught his son Justin an important lesson one day. From [Justin’s eulogy](http://www.clevernet.net/pierre_trudeau/justin_trudeau_eulogy.html) at his father’s funeral: > [@](#): > > As I guess it is for most kids, in Grade 3, it was always a real treat to visit my dad at work. > > As on previous visits this particular occasion included a lunch at the parliamentary restaurant which always seemed to be terribly important and full of serious people that I didn’t recognize. > > But at eight, I was becoming politically aware. And I recognized one whom I knew to be one of my father’s chief [political] rivals. > > Thinking of pleasing my father, I told a joke about him – a generic, silly little grade school thing. > > My father looked at me sternly with that look I would learn to know so well, and said: `Justin, Never attack the individual. We can be in total disagreement with someone without denigrating them as a consequence.’ > > Saying that, he stood up and took me by the hand and brought me over to introduce me to this man. He was a nice man who was eating there with his daughter, a nice-looking blond girl a little younger than I was. > > He spoke to me in a friendly manner for a bit and it was at that point that I understood that having opinions that are different from those of another does not preclude one being deserving of respect as an individual. Based on these, and a few other anecdotes I’ve heard from politicians I’ve known, it seems to me that politicians can be on good terms outside of the House and across party lines. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-think-politicians-really-hate-each-other/638507.md?page=2)