# Do you threaten people with physical violence? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 30, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091 "2005-05-30T14:35:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![IAMBIC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@IAMBIC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IAMBIC)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/1 "2005-05-30T14:35:32Z")
When you get into a confrontation, do you ever threaten the other person with physical violence, or actually become physically violent? If yes, why? If the answer is “yes, but only after the other person threatens first”, that’s fine. Perhaps “the other person” is on this board and will offer an expanation of why someone would threaten someone else with physical violence, even though there is no physical threat from the other person. And, in case anyone is wondering, my answer to this thread’s question is “no”. (Big surprise, uh?) ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/2 "2005-05-30T15:54:17Z")
No, unless it is repeatedly being done. If someone takes several minutes to make repeated physical threats, I start giving it right back. They back down when they see you aren’t “impressed” and are ready to back it up. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/3 "2005-05-30T16:09:05Z")
I tell my brother I’ll hit him with whatever implement I’m carrying if he’s bugging me (I’ll whap you with this pillow, I’ll bop you with this ladle, I’ll throw my book at you, etc.) but it’s always in fun. I haven’t actually hit him since I was… eight or nine, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/4 "2005-05-30T16:21:21Z")
I scrapped with a Mexican immigrant once because he would NOT stop staring at my friend. I watched the guy and it was actually really creepy. He blinked maybe once every couple of minutes. Regardless, it wasn’t very mature and not something I do often. But that dude really got me steamed. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/5 "2005-05-30T16:38:49Z")
I threaten my kids with violence all the time. Kids: “Papa! I can’f find the _whatsit_!” Me: (knowing damn well they’ve not even made an effort to look beyond opening the toy closet door) “Okay, but if I find the _whatsit_, can I smack you with it?” \ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/6 "2005-05-30T17:07:47Z")
I did, once. It was in Paris, and the gypsy lady had just somehow managed to take my wallet. I noticed pretty soon, and finding her in a crowd, caught and held her by the arm. Hard. Not proud, but hey, it got me my stuff back. ---
**Author:** ![Unregistered\_Bull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3da27b/32.png) [@Unregistered\_Bull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unregistered_Bull)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/7 "2005-05-30T17:08:41Z")
I threaten my niece and nephew that “I’ll knock a knot on your head that would sweat a greyhound to run around,” that “you’re cruisen for a bruisen,” or that “I’ll tan your hide” when they’re acting up a bit. These are of course in jest. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/8 "2005-05-30T17:24:44Z")
Never. Threatening violence may cause the other party to react badly, particularly up here where everyone has a damn gun in his car. If threatened with violence, I turn in a casual way to a defensive posture and wait to see what comes, never taking my eyes off of the other guy. It’s always better if the opponent doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. Most aggressive people deflate after a few seconds of adrenalin rush. Them as what doesn’t can deal with the consequences. ---
**Author:** ![IAMBIC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@IAMBIC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IAMBIC)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/9 "2005-05-30T18:12:18Z")
So are there no belligerent Dopers? :dubious: Nobody who is really _cruisin’ for a bruisin’_? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/10 "2005-05-30T18:18:57Z")
_Threaten_ violence? Never. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/11 "2005-05-30T18:36:31Z")
I don’t really get into fights, but I know people who do. If the OP was trying to understand what makes people like that tick, I think I can provide some insight. I think they mostly fall into two categories. People who fit under the broad umbrella of having a personality defect of some kind. They may be sociopaths, or have problems with authority. The other kind are people who are stronger than average, like fighting, and realize the effectiveness a beating can have. While I don’t condone that kind of behavior, I understand the rationale behind it. This one kid I know manages to get into fights on a regular basis. I think he sees it as a recreational activity in a lot of ways. He doesn’t go off hitting people without provocation. Usually it’s some kid who, like him, likes to fight. The other times he gets into fights is when somebody is “talking trash” and needs to be “dealt with.” He feels people who feel they can say anything to anybody without consequences deserve an ass kicking. I’m sure many people disagree with that statement, but I find it is often true. An ass kicking can often be the best and most effective solution. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/12 "2005-05-30T19:38:34Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > The other times he gets into fights is when somebody is “talking trash” and needs to be “dealt with.” He feels people who feel they can say anything to anybody without consequences deserve an ass kicking. I’m sure many people disagree with that statement, but I find it is often true. An ass kicking can often be the best and most effective solution. Yeah, cause it’s so horrible when people feel free to express themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/13 "2005-05-30T19:43:25Z")
I’m not a large man, so it would seem rather silly of me to threaten people. If I ever end up in a fight situation again (it has been over a decade now), I guess I’ll have to try and throw the first punch quickly, against the nose or throat or suchlike, and then run. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/14 "2005-05-30T19:54:42Z")
Nope. If I intend to hit you, I’d certainly not want you to KNOW I was going to hit you. If you intend to hit me… no need to tell you I’ll fight back. You can assume that. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/15 "2005-05-30T20:00:41Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Yeah, cause it’s so horrible when people feel free to express themselves. _You are one funny guy!_ Do you think there are no such things as fighting words? You are entitled t o your opinion, but I disagree with what you are implying. ---
**Author:** ![IAMBIC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@IAMBIC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IAMBIC)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/16 "2005-05-30T20:04:47Z")
> [@Jonathan Woodall](#): > > Nope. > If I intend to hit you, I’d certainly not want you to KNOW I was going to hit you. > If you intend to hit me… no need to tell you I’ll fight back. You can assume that. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere … 🙂 What could I have done that would result in your wanting to hit me? > [@Priceguy](#): > > If I ever end up in a fight situation again (it has been over a decade now), I guess I’ll have to try and throw the first punch quickly, against the nose or throat or suchlike, and then run. What happened that caused you to throw the first punch? Are you one of the guys that **brickbacon** is talking about: someone who “feels that people who feel they can say anything to anybody without consequences deserve an ass kicking”? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/17 "2005-05-30T20:10:09Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > I did, once. It was in Paris, and the gypsy lady had just somehow managed to take my wallet. I noticed pretty soon, and finding her in a crowd, caught and held her by the arm. Hard. > > Not proud, but hey, it got me my stuff back. Yeah you’re lucky she didn’t put a gypsy curse on your ass. I have to agree with brickbacon. There seems to be two types of people like this - psychos (people with personality disorders) and meatheads (people who amuse themselves by starting trouble with people they think won’t be able to fight back). We’ve all seen that guy in a bar who we’re like “man…that asshole needs a good beat-down”. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/18 "2005-05-30T20:10:20Z")
> [@IAMBIC](#): > > What happened that caused you to throw the first punch? You misunderstand. That bit was what I guess I’ll have to do if the situation comes up, not what I’ve already done. > [@](#): > > Are you one of the guys that **brickbacon** is talking about: someone who “feels that people who feel they can say anything to anybody without consequences deserve an ass kicking”? Well, “deserve” is such an abstract pointless word, but… kinda. ---
**Author:** ![IAMBIC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@IAMBIC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IAMBIC)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/19 "2005-05-30T20:27:02Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > You misunderstand. That bit was what I guess I’ll have to do if the situation comes up, not what I’ve already done. Uh … maybe both of us misunderstood … You said: > [@](#): > > If I ever end up in a fight situation again (it has been over a decade now), I guess I’ll have to try and throw the first punch quickly, against the nose or throat or suchlike, and then run. I then asked: “What happened that caused you to throw the first punch?” I was referring to what happened “over a decade” ago. I realize now that you didn’t say that you threw the first punch then. But I’m wondering two things: 1. What was the reason for your fight(s) more than 10 years ago? 2. In what situation today would you " throw the first punch quickly, against the nose or throat or suchlike, and then run"? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Burnt\_Sugar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee59a6/32.png) [@Burnt\_Sugar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burnt_Sugar)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091/20 "2005-05-30T21:17:59Z")
Not really. If one of my gymnasts hurts her foot (for example), I usually say, “Well, I think it needs amputating!” This makes them giggle and forget they have a sore foot. But not seriously, no. I wasn’t brought up in a violent household and I never have the urge to hit anyone. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-threaten-people-with-physical-violence/306091.md?page=2)